Stop Looking For It. There Is No Right Path
We aren’t born with all the answers.
Much like the lion cubs in the savanna we rely on the support from our loved ones. And so, from a young age our families teach us many important life lessons.
As we grow up we stop relying just on our families to provide us with the right answers to life, and we start looking for a wider collective agreement to help us through. We believe that by doing so we are reducing the risk of failure — but that isn’t true.
The reason why is simple — the majority isn’t always right.
Even in democracy — if you voted with the majority and got a president or prime minister of your choice elected, it still doesn’t mean you made the right choice.
A popular choice is still just another choice. And not necessarily the right one for you.
We tend to forget that while we are part of the same tribe, we’re still all individuals. We have our own desires, thoughts, values, passions, and beliefs.
There isn’t a clear definition of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in life.
What’s right for you might be wrong for me and vice versa.
As we grow up and acquire tools to help us in life, we are almost never encouraged to follow a path of individualism, to find out our own right answers. As a consequence, later on in life we don’t even know how or where to begin our own journey.
For that reason, we tend to follow society.
It provides us with a clear set of steps to accomplish our inner desire of finding the “right path” of life. Here are some of the most common steps:
- Going to a school (preferably a good one)
- Getting good grades (in the “important” topics — science, math, English)
- Applying for and attending college (preferably a good one)
- Acquiring a huge debt (student loan)
- Finishing college with a degree (one that can help you find a job)
- Finding a job (preferably one that pays well)
- Paying off your debt
- Changing to a better-paying job (preferably to a role with a better title)
- Buying a house
- Acquiring a huge debt (mortgage this time!)
- Paying off that new debt, slowly and painfully
- Living “the good life” for 10–20 years (statistically 10. I’m being generous)
- Death.
Unlike what we are led to believe, there isn’t one ultimate path that suits everyone.
Perhaps the steps detailed above seem like a good plan to you. That’s fair.
But you have to ask yourself:
Do I think it’s a good plan because others say so?
Do I think it’s a good plan because it’s the only one I know?
When my younger brother asked himself these questions, at the age of 15, he decided that he isn’t going to tag along.
“I’m not going to school anymore,” he publicly announced.
Naturally, my parents weren’t pleased. But they thought that he’ll probably give in within a couple of days.
About a week later, when he still refused to go to school, they sat down to have a serious conversation.
“Why don’t you want to go to school anymore?”
-“Well, I feel like it’s a waste of time. I barely learn anything, and I certainly don’t learn anything about the stuff I’m actually interested in,” my brother replied.
“So what do you suggest? If you don’t want to go to school — you have to come up with an alternative.”
My parents were struggling to come to terms with my brother’s decision.
But what he said next made them feel proud and assured.
-“I’m going to study on my own. I’m not going to take any school exams, though. Instead, I want to apply to study computer science at the Open University.”
And so he did.
Having the discipline to study on your own isn’t easy. But he made it through.
By the age of 19, my younger brother completed his 4-year course and got a bachelor’s degree.
But that wasn’t enough for him.
Ever since he was a young boy, he was always passionate about video games. And not in the way that most kids are.
My brother was interested in how those games were developed.
From writing a story with different characters to coding and design.
When he was 12 years old he started teaching himself how to code.
By the age of 15 he had already developed around a dozen games. Some of them were developed together with a team of professionals from all over the world.
Impressive. I know.
And so, with his new bachelor’s degree my brother was ready to get a job in the gaming industry.
He polished his CV and sent out emails and letters to a few dozen companies he personally adored. Most of these companies were located abroad but that wasn’t going to stop my brother. He just wanted to work with like-minded people and create amazing games.
What happened next was even more unorthodox
I got to say — I was skeptical. Having lived in this world a little longer than him, I thought that chances of getting a reply were slim.
I told him that most companies wouldn’t go through the lengthy and expensive process of getting a working visa for a junior programmer.
Luckily, I was completely wrong.
Within a week my brother got a positive reply. And then another one. And then a few more.
“We enjoyed reading your letter and we would like to interview you to see if you could be a good fit for our company.”
But there was a catch:
“However, we would like to have an interview face-to-face as we normally do and since you don’t live here, we assume that would be impossible,” they said.
So what did my brother do you might wonder?
Well, he booked a plane ticket and a couple of hotels, paid for train tickets, and exchanges some foreign money. “I’m coming for an interview,” he replied.
I don’t know many people who would take that risk.
But my brother did.
After all, when you have a goal — nothing should stop you.
He had five days to do his three scheduled interviews for three different companies that were located in three different cities.
To cut a long story short, he got three job offers. 3/3. Jackpot.
I might be biased
But my brother’s story is inspirational.
It shows us that there is an opportunity for each and every one of us to shape our lives as we choose to. We can curve a path that is based on our values, our passions, and our goals.
We can also choose to live according the most popular narrative.
But the moral message is simple:
We don’t have to.
So if you’re a teenager, a college student or a recent graduate — think of the upcoming steps you’re going to take. Make the right decision for yourself.
And even if you’re older and only months away from finally paying off that mortgage — it’s never too late to find your own specific answers.
Take the time to look at the track you’ve been following and ask yourself if you’re content with where you’re headed.
Ultimately, there is never one right answer nor there is a right path that we all must follow.
Because regardless of how you lived your life so far or what you plan for your future —don’t forget that there’s always an alternative.
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