Taking advantage of vulnerability exercises
Music and the tenacity of musicians are a massive source of inspiration for me. Growing up, I aspired to be a musician, amazed by the beauty of the creative process, and how I was able to synthesize thoughts and emotions into a song or melody. Today, I apply a similar source of inspiration to solve complex problems through a data-driven perspective.
Standing in front of an audience and singing my songs was terrifying. Even though I had put a lot of love and attention into crafting the lyrics and melody, playing live was a mix of fear and joy. The gratification of sharing my music with the world and an almost paralysing fear of failure. The fear of messing up the words, singing in the wrong tune, not being able to connect with the audience, was stronger than the act of sharing my (he)art. All the shows I played were small and intimate, so I could easily make eye contact with every person in the room. This made me even more afraid of making a mistake and ruin the experience for everyone.
It was only recently that I realized that these shows were, a series of exercises that led me to embrace vulnerability.
From Merriam-Webster
vul·ner·a·ble
1: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2: open to attack or damage : ASSAILABLE
//vulnerable to criticism
Even though the definition of vulnerability may seem too dramatic, that's exactly what I was experiencing while performing. I was putting myself out there, open to be emotionally "damaged" if no one enjoyed the music, left mid-show or simply didn't show up at all. The same can be said of anyone who's done any public speaking.
Contrary to what it may seem, learning to be vulnerable can make you stronger. It can be a creative catalyst. It can spark collaboration and make your relationships stronger, more connected, rooted in trust and understanding.
I've learned this by seeing one of my favourite musicians play live. If you've ever seen KT Tunstall perform, that’s what I mean by a vulnerability exercise.
Although she also tours with a full band, most of her showcases and live performances are an incredible one-woman show! She deconstructs her songs and puts them back together on stage, layer by layer. These are all-or-nothing moments. If she skips a beat or gets distracted by someone in the audience, the song can be ruined. She’s on her own.
This is a tremendous act of courage and vulnerability. It demonstrates an immense devotion to process and craftsmanship, while being completely embracing the possibility of failure.
The impact of vulnerability, in all facets of our lives, is not a new topic. Dr. Brené Brown, in her TED Talk, shares an amazing journey to understand the powerful, positive role vulnerability can play in our lives.
On a work life setting, Daniel Coyle the author of Culture Code, has studied how the vulnerability loop can lead to trust among co-workers. The act of one being vulnerable and the other person being receptive to it, that's what triggers this loop and creates a work environment that is built around trust, collaboration and camaraderie.
Reflecting on all of these vulnerability exercises, it became clear to me that that's the only way that I know how to operate, in every facet of my life. Being transparent and vulnerable. Striving to give without expecting anything in return, reaching out to help and, most importantly, not being afraid of asking for help.
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