The 4 Reasons You Still Don’t Love Yourself.
Ah, self-love…. everyone’s favorite topic to talk about. Being able to love yourself fully is a shockingly difficult task. Often times people go through their entire lives without fully being proud & happy about who they are. Don’t go down that road.
You can’t change who you are, so learn to love it.
First off, what exactly is self-love?
Regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (dictionary definition)
Similar meaning to being self-aware. My ex-girlfriend once asked me how she could love herself more. I couldn’t give a small answer because loving yourself is much more complicated than that.
I ended up writing 300+ words and sending them to her. This was a while ago and now I’m going to write an article based on the answers I gave her.
I struggle greatly with self-love. One day I feel extremely blessed to be myself and the next day I’m angry at the world and probably even wishing I was someone else. I would say I love myself about 20% while the other 80% I’m still working towards.
“Ian, how can someone write an article about self-love if they don’t even fully love themselves?”
No clue but it just happened.
1 — You are Constantly worried about what other People Have that you Don’t
I would say that constant comparison is the biggest reason people struggle with self-love. You will never fully achieve self-love if you’re constantly looking at what others have that you don’t.
It can anything from family, lifestyle, relationship, friends, possessions, etc.
I’m guilty and I’m guessing so is everyone reading this. It’s hard not to be a little jealous at times. The lovely social media feed.
“Ugh, of course, Ashley got the new uggs her parents are soo rich..”
The problem with social media is that people would rather cut off their arm than make a post about something that’s really affecting them.
How often do you see a post about; losing a job, getting in trouble with the police, struggling with depression or something similar? You rarely do. I don’t know about you but the posts about something real always entice me much more.
We always know about what’s going well in your life. What we don’t always see is what’s not working out, and what you’re doing to overcome that.
Rant over. Either learn to not look, not care, or delete social media. Although, deleting social media isn’t going to keep you from seeing what other people are up to.
2 — You’re Forgetting about what You Have that Others Don’t
In case you may have forgotten, you are 1/7,000,000,000+. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna fill the next paragraph with “you’re special, you’re unique.”
You’re not special but there are things about you that are special.
As I said above, I originally wrote about self-love for my girl who asked.
She was insecure at times and always worried that I thought other girls were beautiful.
Kayley has like a sculpted body. Not even kidding she has a fit body that many women workout for years to achieve. She is beautiful and I was unquestionably head over heels for her.
When she asked the question about self-love, I made sure to talk about her incredible body & looks. I told her; You legit have the body of a goddess and I love every aspect of it. Additionally, you’re beyond stunning and you don’t need makeup. Woman dream of looking as beautiful as you. I just reminded her about the natural gifts she even knew she had.
I could hate my skinny body and complain about it or I could think of it as a blessing. I simply can’t gain weight and if I can I sure as hell don’t know how to. Maybe I’m not the happiest about how my body looks but not having to worry about gaining weight is pretty sweet.
There are gonna be traits about you that you’re not fond of. I don’t think there’s anyone on this planet that likes every single thing about them. Learn to live with them and focus on what you have that makes you, you.
3 — Your Past still Haunts You.
This is a big one. Where’s that Men-In-Black Memory eraser tool when you need it?
Your past is relevant and not relevant.
Your past is your past and not your future.
Gratitude and Choice.
You have to be grateful for everything that’s happened to you. You won’t achieve self-love if you aren’t. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and learn to grow from the difficult challenges you’ve faced.
Make the decision to develop new morals and values that you wholeheartedly represent. Values that speak; I’m not unlucky, troubled, and pathetic but merely growing, adjusting, and learning. Another thing you can do is try to repair the situation if it still holds pain inside you. A good example would be the need for revenge against another person. Instead of thinking about what you would do to make that person suffer, thank them for the lessons and challenges they brought you. This will allow you to breathe easier over something that may have needed a conclusion in your mind.
Once you let go of past baggage, you feel a weight lifted off you. I’ll be the first to tell you that shifting your opinion on the past can completely change your life. It seems silly to say a different way of thinking about something that has already occurred could be that effective. Even then, we all still struggle with it.
4 — You still Care what People Think About You.
Retitle: You Stop because you Care Too Much about other People’s Opinions.
Don’t switch tabs and hit facebook with the “I simply don’t care what anyone thinks about me, I’m doing me from now on!”
We all care about what people think of us to an extent. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have an appealing image. The problem comes when you care too much & feel like you need to impress people in a materialistic or unauthentic way.
You can’t do anything substantial without receiving criticism, hate, judgment, etc. Name one famous or successful person that’s actually in the public eye who doesn’t have at least a couple thousand haters. Just one.
You don’t need to please everyone. Do something that makes you uncomfortable or maybe even a little embarrassed. It’s those things that really allow your character to blossom. *lol, Ian “blossom”*
I know I’ve probably put this quote in 3 other articles but it’s just..
Care less about what people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. — Ian Romprey
Kanye West recently talked about a social media platform where followers/likes/comments don’t exist. Personally, I think it would be pretty neat. Picture Instagram or Twitter with zero analytics whatsoever.
It’s a process. It’s also not a forever thing and some days are gonna be “those” days.
- Forget about other people and their wins, progress, and life.
- Remember there are so many things about you that others don’t have.
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes and let the past go, completely.
- Do what you want regardless of what other people think or say.