The Anxious Person’s Guide to Interviews
The anxiety associated with interviewing for a job is tough to beat. There are few other common, recurring events with the same stress caliber that involve being judged by complete strangers in competition with other strangers.
The stress and pressure on shows such as The Voice and Hell’s Kitchen may be greater than that of a job interview, if only because they have the added factor of being televised in front of the world. Yet they capture the dramatically high stakes, as well as the anxiety, that often accompany job interviews.
I’ve experienced job interviews where my anxiety got the best of me. When asked a question I wasn’t prepared for, I got caught like a deer in headlights. Instead of thinking on my feet and moving forward, I sunk deeper into a panic, no longer feeling present in the room. The interviewer kindly told me he had no further questions and ended the interview. Without much surprise, I didn’t get the role.
Since then, I’ve developed tricks and habits to help me stay calm, present, and confident so I can feel prepared for anything. The solutions I’ve found make me feel like the kind of “ideal candidate” I want to be. Hopefully they can empower you to quell anxiety and put your best foot forward on the day that matters most. Here’s what I do the night before and the day of an interview in order to stay cool during stressful moments.
1. Manifest a stress-free interview. ☁️
Visualization is a mindfulness technique to help you turn your desired outcome into reality.
It’s pretty simple. Before your big day, spend some time alone to imagine the most ideal way for your day to go.
Find a comfortable place to sit and eliminate distractions. Some meditate; I like to write. Set a timer if you’re anything like me and struggle to stay present and/or not fall asleep during yoga. Imagine what your day will look like, from start to finish:
- How do you start your morning?
- Who do you encounter during the day?
- When you face a challenge, how do you react?
- How do you end the day? What does it feel like?
Present tense, I’ve found, helps the exercise feel more real. For example, here’s an excerpt from the visualization I wrote before a big company interview day:
“I wake up on time, feeling refreshed from a full night of sleep. I catch a rideshare to the company and have no trouble navigating to the designated building.
My interviewer asks me a tough question I don’t know the answer to right away. I start to get nervous, but I recover by staying calm and explaining my thoughts carefully. The interviewer seems pleased with my explanation.
My last interview is with a senior manager at the company. We end up having a great conversation. As I leave, the recruiter seems positive about my performance. Great dinner, preferably sushi, on the gifted per diem.”
It’s almost embarrassingly specific, enough to encourage someone to fall sleep. Since most interviews these days are virtual, areas you can cover in your visualization exercise might include how you log into the meeting, avoid technical issues, and follow up with the interviewer afterwards.
When we’re anxious, oftentimes we start thinking about all the ways things could go sour. Positive thinking, however, can help calm nerves in a moment of stress. Whether you’re preparing for a phone screening with a recruiter or a company “super day,” visualization exercises help you feel in control of your own performance.
2. Memorize those lines, Homer. 📚
One reason interviews can be stressful is because we don’t always know what questions we’ll be asked. Even if you get asked a brain stumper, you can still shine in other areas.
Write out responses to a few standard interview questions in the “STAR” format: Summary, Task, Action, and Result. Edit the stories until they are concise, clear, and compelling. Rehearse them without the script until they feel natural. Listeners should be able to easily retell your stories.
Stories can be repurposed for different questions. For example, one story could be the answer to both “Tell me about a time when you faced a challenge” and “Describe a time when you had to learn something new.”
If you’re in a time crunch, write down three takeaways for your interviewer to have about who you are. For example, I write down three traits about myself that I want to drive home to my interviewer. This way, I can tailor my answers to questions about myself that align with these traits to create a clear, memorable narrative of who I am as a candidate.
3. Kick the late night jitters. 😴
Sleep can be a friend or foe when it comes to interviews. Persuading it to be your ally before an important event can be challenging for a variety of reasons, such as if you’re in a different timezone than home or simply thinking about tomorrow.
Melatonin is my superhero supplement. It’s a natural hormone that your brain produces in response to darkness. I take a chewable tablet a half hour before lights out to feel sleepier and enjoy a sound night of z’s. Its dosage ranges from 0.5–10 mg, but I’ve found 1 mg of Nature’s Bounty Melatonin enough to carry me to dreamland. Additionally, avoiding screens before bedtime and brewing tea (chamomile, rose, and lavender tea are great) can be the keys to better rest.
4. Find your confidence role model. ✨
Identify someone who exudes the confidence and energy you want to give off. No need to copy the way they talk or their quirks; the purpose is to use their confidence as a target above your typical level of enthusiasm. Rather than shut down due to anxiety, it helps to have a talisman to help you open up. If you’re self-assured and warm around others, that energy can be infectious and get others to feel comfortable with you, which can in turn help you feel more confident.
Your role model can be anyone — a podcaster, influencer, YouTuber, etc. — as long as they embody an open, self-possessed, and confident energy. Consume content from them before your interview and channel their energy throughout their day, especially when you experience moments of self-doubt.
One of my confidence role models is Jonathan Van Ness. He’s authentically himself and warm towards anyone he meets while remaining collected when the time calls for it. Although his base level of energy is way above mine on a typical day, harnessing his infectious confidence on interview days has helped increase my self-perception and encouraged me to step out of my shell.
However, I should underscore that when you take a page out of your role model’s confidence playbook, do so with caution. Take what feels genuine to you and leave what doesn’t in order to stay authentically yourself.
5. Have a conversation starter that’s better than the weather. 🗺️
Read the news the morning of your interviews. Pick out something interesting and on an apolitical, low-stakes topic that can make for good elevator talk.
Bonus points for a recent piece of news that is relevant to the role or company. By having a conversation starter in your back pocket, you can fill in any awkward moments of silence. More importantly, it highlights your soft skills and ability to connect with others. I like reading Morning Brew for relevant highlights in business and technology news.
6. Check out natural stress reducers. 🌊
Disclaimer: I am not receiving anything in return for the following recommendations. I discovered them from friends and have joined the fan club because I’ve found genuine success with them.
Before you write this off as woo-woo, hear me out. I was skeptical myself, but after my train-wreck interview, I was pretty willing to try anything to make sure it didn’t happen again. If you’re looking for solutions to easing stress and anxiety, these are relatively low cost ($5–10 at the time of writing) and easily accessible at stores such as Whole Foods.
Four drops of Dr. Bach’s Rescue Remedy on the tongue eases my nerves immediately. I’ve used it moments before delivering a speech or walking into an interview. A “flower remedy,” it fits in the palm of my hand and discreetly in a jacket pocket.
I feel like a Victorian vampire taking a secret potion in hiding whenever I sneak in some drops before my interviewer enters the room, but if it can transform me into anything, it’s into a calmer me.
I also love Yogi Tea’s Kava Stress Relief tea. It was recommended to me because I love Rescue Remedy so much. One of the main ingredients is Kava, which is known for also encouraging calmness for a good night of sleep. Even breathing it in is calming. Highly recommend 10/10.
7. Lower your mental hurdles. 🥍
When you’re in an interview, you are your own coach, cheerleader, and pit crew. It’s tough to wear so many hats at once and make it look easy.
If you enter a series of interviews by attaching high stakes to it, you operate on a win-or-lose framework. The association of a job offer with material goals, such as allowing you to buy a car, and immaterial goals — such as meeting loved ones’ expectations, impressing others, or even affirming your self-worth — can magnify the stakes so much that the obstacles seem insurmountable. If you stay calm, you can be your authentic self and perform your best.
Instead, enter the interview with the confidence that you can truly make positive change at this company. Think less about what the company can do for you; think about what you can do for the company. The belief that you’re the right person for this role starts with you. With that frame of mind, why wouldn’t they want you?
You’re already qualified; you only need to prove it in real time. They asked you for an interview for a reason! When you feel anxious, return to the positive vision of how you want your day to end and remember that you’re in control. Sometimes, it makes all the difference to enter an interview, thinking to yourself, “Ah, I already know how this ends.”
