The Art of Being Alone
Solitude is nothing to fear
fall
in love
with your solitude
— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
The world seems to be designed for extroverts, or people who enjoy socializing all the time. People seem to be afraid of being alone. To succeed in the modern Western world, you have to be a go-getter, aggressive (in a good way) and know how to network forever.
It’s all about other people all the time. Dating is about swiping through pictures, jobs are about who you know, there’s a constant feeling of FOMO if you’re not out with your friends (or “squad”) all the time. That kind of stimulation can be exhausting, especially for an introvert. But the ability to be alone with just oneself is just as important for extroverts as well.
I grew up in an introverted household, so naturally, I grew up to be an introvert myself. But I was also a big people pleaser. I only felt good about myself when I was sure other people liked me.
My value was dependent on others.
When I was alone, I was texting my friends or chatting with them on MSN (in a time BEFORE social media was the thing) or chatting with my online friends (BEFORE talking to strangers on the internet was socially acceptable). My alone time was not for me; I didn’t do things to cultivate my relationship with myself. My time…
