The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy
And why it matters so much to our relationships
A while back, I had a painful, personal event occur that I knew I needed to share with a few people close to me.
I related the story to a couple of friends, and received very different reactions.
Friend One: “Wow! Poor you! That is really awful.”
Friend Two: “I’m so sorry and I’ve been there, too. You’re not alone. Thank you for telling me.”
One friend exuded empathy, the other sympathy. I felt comfortable enough with one friend to continue to give updates and ask advice, but not the other.
One friendship has grown deeper, the other hasn’t. I feel safe sharing with one friend, though not with the other.
A Matter of Connection
Empathy and sympathy are not the same. Most of us know this. It can be harder, though, to articulate exactly how they’re different, and why it even matters.
Researcher and bestselling author, Brené Brown, says it best when she notes this key difference: “Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection.”
Powerful stuff. If I share vulnerably with you and you respond empathetically, our relationship grows stronger. If you…
