The Difference Between Self-Aware and Self-Conscious — Be Self-Aware, Not Self-Conscious
Self-aware is to improve you, self-conscious is to destroy you.
Every day we are judging ourselves, whether it’s a righteous judgment or unrighteous judgment. There are things we wished we did better. Sometimes we slap ourselves for making an honest or stupid mistake. We may judge people, but we can be our own worst enemies: We judge ourselves all the time. We think everything we do is stupid. Judging ourselves can come from our childhood where we got criticized and punished by our parents for not doing good enough.
But… sometimes we just want to get to know ourselves better. We introspect ourselves. We examine our thoughts and feelings. We examine the actions we took today. We want to learn from yesterday’s mistakes. We are righteous self-critical and correct ourselves when we do or say something that’s incorrect.
Some people don’t even know or understand themselves, yet they expect other people to understand and know them. How can people understand and know them, if they don’t even know themselves?
When are we punishing ourselves negatively for no reasons and when are we analyzing ourselves for being incorrect? There is something called self-aware and self-conscious. They seem similar but are different. It’s important to know the differences if you want to know yourself better and realize what you’re doing right and wrong.
Now to the question and answers.
What is the difference between self-aware and self-conscious?
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
- Aristotle.
Self-Aware
The term self-aware means you’re in awareness of yourself. You self-analyze your inner self. Being self-aware means you’re reflective of your own actions, routines, habits, emotions, reactions, words, thoughts and behavior without judging and punishing yourself. It can be anything about yourself. You are fully aware of how your words can affect other people. You come back home reflecting what you could have done better next time. You correct yourself and think about how you behaved. You are self-aware because you have an expanded awareness. You are fully aware of people in your surroundings and aware of how you treat people. You’re aware of your behaviors in public and knows how your words and behavior can impact other people.
It means you can self-analyze yourself on a deeper level. Now, SOMETIMES you can be self-aware and still unsatisfied with your personal improvement.
Some examples that you’re asking yourself:
- “Why am I feeling this way?”
- “What is the root cause of it?”
- “How can I solve this problem?”
- “Was I too harsh on the person today?”
- “How can I stop being triggered which comes from my past traumas?”
- “If I’m a good friend, I should have shown more empathy when the other person expressed their frustration on what I did.”
- “I should ask more into the person’s life, instead of talking about myself all the time. I come across as being selfish.”
- “I snapped at someone during the argument. It was not okay. I have to apologize for the mess.”
It’s difficult to become self-aware if you don’t have an expanded awareness. Becoming self-aware is highly beneficial for your personal development. It’s a great way to improve and cultivate your social skills.
Self-aware doesn’t only mean we’re aware of ourselves. It’s also about being aware of our inner self and world. It’s about being aware of how we speak to ourselves with voices inside us. It’s about understanding ourselves when we react in a certain way with an open mind.
You are the observer of yourself. You observe your thoughts, actions, habits, routines, and everything you do on a daily basis.
“Know thyself, then thou shall know God and the universe.”
You can’t really see what you’re doing if you aren’t self-aware. Without self-awareness, you don’t realize how blessed your life is. You can’t see what you’re doing wrong when you’re trying to achieve your goals. Without self-awareness, you aren’t honest with yourself and you won’t improve on yourself.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
― Carl Gustav Jung
Become more self-aware
If you aren’t self-aware of yourself and want to improve your self-awareness, then the best advice is to ask people around you what they think about you without feeling triggered by their feedback which may be a cold-hard truth about yourself. If you want to grow, you have to hear the hard truth about yourself. They can tell you how you are presenting yourself on a third-persons perspective.
The truth hurts, but it’s there to help you grow. And it’s there to get to know yourself better. The hard truth can help you have an easier life.
Self-Conscious
Self-conscious is mainly when we are seeing ourselves from a negative viewpoint. It’s hard for self-conscious people to find at least 1 thing they love and admire about themselves. No matter what self-conscious people do, they never feel good enough. They have low self-esteem. They punish themselves for making honest mistakes, and things they can’t control; their own body.
Self-conscious is when you judge yourself negatively. This is more about your shallow- physical world. The term self-conscious means you’re frustrated every time you look at your own body. You dislike the way you look physically. You are giving yourself destructive, unhealthy criticism based on your looks and actions. It’s easier for you to find something negative about your body than positive about your body. You’re comparing your physical looks to other people and constantly concerned with how you look. You are negatively obsessed with your own body.
“When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”
― Osho
Self-conscious means we are concerned about what other people think of us. It’s when we care too much about what other people think of us. We tend to avoid takings risks to prevent public embarassment. Some self-conscious people avoid social interaction because they’re socially awkward and wants to avoid people as they fear coming off as a stupid person or to say something stupid to the person.
You tell yourself things like:
- “I’m too fat/skinny.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “Nobody wants to be with someone like me.”
- “I always mess up.”
- “Nobody wants to be with someone as stupid as me.”
- “I will never get a partner because I’m ugly.”
- “I have a big nose.”
- “Everyone will get tired of me.”
- “Why do I look this way?”
- “I hate my flat chests.”
Self-conscious people are fixated on their flawed body and have a negative perception of themselves. Self-conscious people can also be socially awkward and have internal issues with who they are.
Become less self-conscious
You need to accept your body wholeheartedly and stop caring what people think badly about you. You’re bigger than what you think. Punishing yourself is a waste of time and unhealthy for your soul. If you desire love and acceptance from other people, then start to love and accept yourself first. You’re beautiful just the way you are. Embrace your flaws as they are and work hard on staying healthy mentally, physically and emotionally.
- “I’m good enough.”
- “I’m beautiful inside and inside.”
- “Everyone loves me.”
- “I have a beautiful body.”
- “I accept all my flaws as flawless and unique.”
- “I deserve love and appreciation.”
- “I’m proud of myself.”
- “I’m smart and intelligent.”
- “People love being in my presence.”
- “I treat myself with respect and care.”
Once you start treating yourself with love and kindness, drastic things start to change for the better. People will start to love being in your surroundings. You’ll feel better about yourself and life will bless you with more loving people in your life who will appreciate your love and kindness back. You feel better about yourself than ever.
Be with people who can challenge you to become less socially awkward. Seek out help, if you want to improve being less self-conscious/socially awkward. It’s not embarrassing to ask for help. It’s a sign of courage.
The truth is, most people don’t care about you, they are too busy with themselves and their own problems. So why waste much time thinking about what other people think of you if they have other stuff to think about? It’s not worth it.
Be with people who love and accept you the way you are. They are there to remind you of your self-value. Being different than anyone else is what makes you unique.
Loving yourself is a healing method.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for reading my article! My pen name is Suzan Dalia and I’m a writer. My goal is to write articles that her readers can think and learn from. I write anything like essays, health, wellness, lifestyle, personal stories. I share my wisdom, inspirations, and motivational content to lift people’s souls.
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