The Future Can’t Be Predicted but It Can Lead You to Healing

Emily Stroia
Jul 14, 2019 · 5 min read

how i found myself one self-help class at a time

Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash

I am a former self-help new-age junkie. I’ve paid thousands of dollars to psychics, mediums, healers, hypnotherapists, therapists, meditation teachers.

You name it, I’ve probably done it.

If you are anything like me you might be someone who dabbles into the woo-woo.

That was me.

I fell into the woo-woo world for over 10 years.

I went to my first psychic when I was 21 years old.

It wasn’t really what she said as so much what I felt in our sessions. I don’t know if it was the crystal balls or the tarot cards but I was hooked.

She opened a door for me to be curious.

I think I always had a spiritual side to me but I was afraid to show it.

Or perhaps express it.

After our psychic readings I psychic-hopped for a while comparing her predictions to others.

Then I wondered…maybe I was psychic?

After all I had always been pretty intuitive.

No I couldn’t predict lottery numbers but can anyone?

But really I think it is a game of logic and insight.

Personally I think I always relied on my intuition.

My parents were abusive and completely out of touch with reality. They had no idea how to be positive role models.

Many days I was afraid to be around my parents so I prayed.

I prayed at night for guidance.

I prayed the Serenity prayer probably a gazillion times.

I asked God for help.

Prayer turned into an interesting dialogue with the universe or God — if you will.

Sometimes it was signs in my environment. Sometimes it was people who stood out to me as someone I could trust or feel safe with. Sometimes it was my dreams giving me a message that made me feel like I’d be okay.

Somehow I just knew I would make it out alive and that life had a purpose for me.

Maybe it was the power of synchronicity.

Synchronicity has been an anchor in my healing quest.

I think much of my life has been synchronicity where a strange line of events happened at once — i.e. feeling like i would meet my life partner and a month later I met him.

While it can be faulty and false at times I think in many cases it can serve us to a great degree of success and truth.

I didn’t even realize it until now.

I enrolled in classes from psychic development, mediumship, intuition, hypnotherapy, meditation and even a 200 hour yoga-teacher training.

The whole course was a bit culty but I didn’t care. Like almost scientology culty.

I completed all the stages, enrolled people in the course and realized in the end I was in a bit of a happy-go-lucky cult. People asked me constantly what I was creating and how I could be the stand for leadership.

We didn’t have real conversations. All we talked about was transformation and how we could enroll the next person in the course.

While I despised the enrollment part I found incredible joy and healing in the screaming-in-rooms exercises.

It’s funny how self-help works.

What I’ve learned from this 10-year-healing-journey is it never really stops — like ever.

I think at the end of the day I am a person who values both spirituality and science.

Personally I think I got a bit addicted to self-help work that I avoided living in the real world.

After finding my peak with the work I am at a new place of evolution.

I am integrating.

I am witnessing my growth every day.

What do you look like fully-expressed?

My spiritual journey has given me great tools that I still use to this day.

They help me cope in an otherwise overwhelming world.

Yoga is a practice I go to for relaxation. CBD calms my mind. Mindfulness and meditation are tools I practice for grounding and reflection.

My intuition is always there — whispering little nudges and ideas to guide me in life.

The mind is incredibly powerful and malleable.

You can be a spiritual surfer of many interests. You can go on your own eat-pray-love journey and realize how life is truly simple in the end.

If you ask me, what is enlightenment?

Enlightenment is living and being in your full-expression.

It is knowing your core values so much that nothing shakes you — nothing takes your power.

It is becoming the master of your most difficult emotions and learning to co-exist in harmony with yourself so that you can co-exist with others.

It is listening, compassion and humanity.

I am not enlightened. I am still on a quest for it.

I think in this life I came here to be self-actualized.

I hope I find it by the time I die.

If I can come from a place of love in the most challenging times I’ve won in the game of life.

And right now I am still learning how to do that.

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Emily Stroia

Written by

Self-help & mental health writer. Can't do small talk. Mama. Yogi. Coffee lover. Nature explorer. Get my free meditation mini-course here:

The Startup

Get smarter at building your thing. Follow to join The Startup’s +8 million monthly readers & +799K followers.

Emily Stroia

Written by

Self-help & mental health writer. Can't do small talk. Mama. Yogi. Coffee lover. Nature explorer. Get my free meditation mini-course here:

The Startup

Get smarter at building your thing. Follow to join The Startup’s +8 million monthly readers & +799K followers.

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