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The “gift of gab:” knowing how to speak with others

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I have always had the ability to talk to people with ease. I came out of the womb pretty much an adult, so I have always known how to talk to people.

It comes naturally. Easy.

And I really like it.

It is one of the only things I really love about myself.

I like to talk to people no matter where I am. In the grocery check-out line. Riding the train. Walking to the park.

I really, really like people, and I like hearing their stories.

I am not sure if I could honestly teach others how to be so at ease with speaking to people, but here are few tips for someone who might struggle with it.


I smile

I smile at people. It is that simple. If you look approachable people will find you approachable and they are much more likely to have a conversation with you. A warm smile makes people comfortable. It helps them feel calm and relaxed. Being friendly starts with your face (it really does), so put a smile on it and get out there and talk to people!

I care

I genuinely care about people. Because I like people so much it comes easy for me to just care about their wellbeing. I care what they had for lunch that day, or that their daughter just got out of rehab. I care that they are going through a messy divorce or that their son just graduated from high school on the honor roll. Whatever their circumstance may be I seriously love to hear about their lives and to help out in any way I can with anything they might need.

I listen

Everyone has a story to tell, but not everyone has an ear to listen that that story. I like to be that ear for people. I like to give people the opportunity to “unload” whatever they feel the need to. Sometimes people share the deepest parts of themselves in just the few minutes that I spend talking with them. I learn of their struggles and empathize with them. And they have the chance to get out, expel, what they need to.

I try to find common ground with people

The first question I ask people 100% of the time is “Where are you from?” If you can get people to talking about where they are from, they generally will open up about other aspects of their lives. If you can find some points of their lives that are similar to yours you have your “in” to talking with them. I always find common ground with people. Always. It makes talking with people easy and efficient.


I am grateful for the people who have been in my life. Even if it is just in passing at the grocery store, or on the bus. I am also grateful for the personality I was blessed with and the fact that I really like talking with people. It has blessed my life immensely.

It means I am friends with everyone.

And I think everyone could use more friends.

Thanks for reading!!

This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by +385,976 people.

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