The Hidden Reason Your Growth Mindset Still Leads To Failure (And 9 Steps To Stop)
When you think a growth mindset is enough, but don’t know how your subconscious steers you toward your goals and decisions — it leads to blocked goals — costing mistakes and causing frustration on your journey toward your goals.
Because we all want to power through and get to where we want to go — and often think it needs to be a long road that’s tough.
This is far from the truth and decide that the physical fruition of achieving goals needs to be an easy process and fun road — and that a long road and hard process is an expectation and habit that leads most often to failure.
It’s arriving at the deep awareness where it BECOMES an easy process and fun road that OFTEN REQUIRES a long road and hard process to reach — sometimes years.
However this long road and hard process is well worth the journey because that’s how you breakthrough to the ease and fun.
That’s what I’m going to teach you in this article.
It took me a long time to figure out why I kept failing and how I perceived goals and the road to achieving them.
The scary part is the blocker is hidden if you don’t have the self awareness required to notice it.
The good news is if you’re motivated to practice the right daily habits, and do the self-inquiry, you can win at everything whether it’s work, relationships, health etc.
It’s the mindset the doesn’t miss.
Because with the right principles, you can’t really miss at goals — isn’t that empowering to know? Sure, you’ll receive feedback with “local mistakes” — guideposts that are perceived correctly to adjust and get you back on course .
It get’s easy when you know these principles, and put them into practice — but until then, it will be hard.
That’s my motivation for writing this article, and share my own journey that’s led me through pitfalls I now laugh at because it’s now all so simple and easy.
You too will laugh at yourself when you break through. Such a fine line to walk! But that’s life isn’t it.
Everything is hard to learn, hard to get to or achieve, until one does it, then it’s easy and you can’t believe how long and hard it took you to learn.
It’s hard to get that first client, it’s easy to get the next 3 when you do. Until you get that first one, you think it’s hard getting clients. When you get to 3, you realize how easy it is to even get to the first one.
No matter what it is you’re doing, so long as that thing is practiced with the right mindset, aware of itself, you’ll effectively improve forward and steer clear of failure no matter what it is you’re doing.
Why Do We Fail?
What the mind conceives and believes, it achieves, said Napoleon Hill. The power in this statement is profound yet most of us don’t understand it.
I remember first seeing the quote when I was 15 years old, mounted on the wall at the gym in the membership director’s office.
I was sitting down after a tour and about to sign up. Afterward — I went around for a while thinking to myself “what the mind conceives and believes, it can achieve. What the mind conceives and believes, it achieves.”
I actually did that, believed that statement was true but lacked the awareness of my conditioning, programming and intelligence for how we form beliefs, how current beliefs are conditioned into us in the first place and how to re-condition new beliefs and remove old patterns that hold us back.
This isn’t surprising for any 15 year old. Unlucky for me, I was conditioned at that point with beliefs that weren’t empowering that lead to repeated failure whether it was at school or at the gym.
What transpired afterward was a ton of force without understanding, and striving toward goals for the wrong reasons. Weight lifting for hours on end. Not having done the self-inquiry to realize that my perceived self image had me dieting and working out for all the wrong reasons — from a place of lack, striving to be worthy — which never is the path to worthiness.
A few things come to mind as I type this today about twenty years later:
Had I been conditioned by my parents and environment to believe differently, about both what I “was” and what I was “capable of”, I wouldn’t have rigorously forced mysely to eat tuna and vegetables for 45 days looking for abs to come through. Perhaps if I believed I could do anything and be anyone, I would have been.
Now that I’ve overcome these limiting belief systems and know how to change them with ease, I’m mind boggled when some people have the capacity and belief systems to put men on the moon whileothers can’t get out of bed in the morning.
We overlook this everyday as though it’s expected, but why?
- We’re all human the same with the same general needs, wants and desires.
- We all have 24 hours a day.
- A brain that acts like a computer (based on “programs” that are beliefs from our conditioning).
It made me wonder:
Why are some “destined” (pre-programmed) for greatness while others have programs of failure and therefore sabotage everything they try thereby being destined for failure?
We all are generally the same and have the same ability to learn and act. We believe that people in general are so much different than one another — but they’re not.
They have the same malleable hardware (a brain) that can be programmed by conditioned or created software (beliefs). As in, minds can evolve.
So why do some not, and others do?
On one hand, people believe, act and then have anything they set their mind to because they believe their potential is unlimited. On the other, people with beliefs so limiting sabotage most of what they try much less achieve success.
What’s sadder is just how much “success”, however you define it for yourself, is easy to attain. Partly because we’re already born successful.
In fact, we’re so successful and sophisticated with our consciousness that we now get in our own way. “Success” used to just be survive and pro-create, now it’s imagined happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment — luxuries of our evolution.
Yet the “successful” achieve with ease, and yet the failures try harder and harder.
And even those who fail often believe they have a growth mindset with their striving and desire — with their evolutionary monkey minds that keep them in fear especially now as we see and read about our friends ‘successes’ on a 24 hour cycle.
These people bring monumental efforts forward, wanting it so bad yet pre-programmed to fail.
I literally ate tuna and vegetables for 45 days straight and ran on a treadmill for 60 minutes a day. Do you know how much will that took? A monumental amount! I put myself through the same kind of discipline and denial you’d be given if going through “hell week” or working in a slave camp.
Oh how bad my programming was. The great will of man for all to see, driven by guilt and unnecessary effort — by the hidden force of bad programming — a weak self image, and not be deserving enough to succeed by simply looking for what I wanted and believing I was worthy.
Because you don’t attract what you don’t have already — yet another law of nature that seems unfair.
What’s ugliest and most painful about this whole thing is how simple it can be. Most don’t learn these hidden reasons until it’s too late so they miss out on so much during their existence. Or they’re so deeply programmed that de-programming would be too painful to accept and they simply can’t handle the self inquiry.
Yet those who know the hidden reasons of failure know — how to live, to be happy, fulfilled — and get the most from existing. That’s when the sky’s the limit.
Most of us aren’t aware of the power our thoughts have on us and how our belief systems steer us toward our end goals.
End goals that are supposed to be easy to reach, as simple as driving from A to B.
Becuase 95% of our behavior is subconscious. And we wonder why we continue to fail — while continuing to “upgrade” or “grow” — while not knowing we’re still programmed in the depth of our minds to continue getting the same results.
“If you try this, you deserve that. Your father always said you weren’t good at math — or at least, so I believed.” The subconscious said to me.
I didn’t realize it until a few years ago, but my whole life, I believed I “wasn’t good at math” and as a result, not good at numbers because I’d observed a math genius who didn’t know the power of belief.
The power of the beliefs that resulted from my dads beliefs toward my math results, and how because of that, I thought math was so hard and that I couldn’t to it.
I didn’t question this. It was just what I believed. Why you may ask? Because we aren’t aware of why we believe what we believe. We just have beliefs and most of why we do anything is hidden.
What did I do with this limiting belief? Only thing I could do was embrace it, heck I took pride in it, even 15 years later — I didn’t stop and ask myself why I had that belief, and what evidence there actually was.
Because at that point, I’d created evidence to prove myself right for 15 years.
When you believe something, you look for evidence to support the belief. This is called synchronicity. So I became the guy who “wasn’t good at numbers”.
I become the “charasmatic super sales guy” — it even served me for a bit, I made a ton of money, and would lose it all.
To think, I can be the “charasmatic super sales guy” who’s also great with numbers and has discipline.
How do we know this is possible? Because there are plenty of them that exist!
I spent over $300k one year on things. Travel, toys, flying out family etc. Anything and everything that was justified to prove my subconscious right. Only thing is, I didn’t know it.
It was disguised as, “I’ll fly my cousin out to stay with me for the summer. It will be the best mentoring experience I could provide him.”
Or “I need a co-founder and partner that’s great at numbers, because I’m not great at them.” I literally gave up half a company, millions of dollars, from a belief I thought was normal.
The scariest part of failing and missing out on the success you want is just how easy it is when you understand the right principles and apply them.
This is the sad crime of our time, that we don’t teach this in school in the early days and raise adults to live an awakened life that’s empowered and aware of the invisible.
By the end of this article, you’ll be able to pick the right beliefs that create the right subconscious that allows itself to never fail again.
1. Prime Your Beliefs Every Day Like Your Life Depended On It
Our self-image, strongly held, ultimately determines what we become. — Dr. Maxwell Maltz
To de-condition and re-condition yourself, priming your subconscious when it’s most suggestible needs to become the habit of your lifetime and a part of who you are.
As easy as you may be reading this article, becoming the person who believes it and becomes it takes work.
This is why early mornings and nights are so critical, because they’re often times our minds have space.
Every morning I visualize and see the results I want for the day and my life. When you do this daily, it becomes your life. You then, literally, shape your life.
That’s the benefit of consciousness. This peak performing habit needs to become a daily habit that becomes a part of your existence. That is, if you want to start each day with a clean slate and live in a state that follows your best and highest self.
If you want to consider my help as your coach to do this, hop on my calendar for a quick call to hear some case studies and receive a quick training.
2. Listen and Catch What You Say All The Time
The development of language is part of the development of the personality, for words are the natural means of expressing thoughts and establishing understanding between people. — Maria Montessori
“Which belief did that thought just come from?”
Then ask: “where does that belief come from?”
Then ask: “what facts and conclusions is it based on?”
Then ask: “what facts and conclusions can I create to create the evidence my subconscious needs to change that belief.”
3. Constantly Recall Wins To Continually Signal Your Subconscious (And For Self Preservation Throughout Your Journey)
Constantly recalling wins continually signals your subconscious that you’re a winner — no matter how big or small.
Anytime you feel frustrated, think back to a moment you took on a challenge and won at it. It doesn’t need to be a huge one, anytime you put your mind to something, tried and won.
It can be tying your shoes as a kid or successfully putting a table together.
That also creates optimism.
4. Decide You Won’t Entertain A Negative Thought Ever Again
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start to have positive results. — Willie Nelson
Negative thoughts are poison if you identify with them. I choose not to entertain them.
Though they’ll come up at first, once you train your subconscious, you can live in a state where you never perceive a thought or occurence as negative ever again.
I’m proof — you’re looking at the biggest stress ball on the planet turned biggest producer of happiness each and every day.
This takes discipline — make it a daily habit and a part of who you are.
5. Have Faith In The Process
You must let go of the outcomes and have positive faith of your internal subconscious driver. A huge belief you need to believe in.
You ARE successful, now get out of your own way and let yourself achieve.
As long as you continually check your beliefs, and where your thoughts come from, you’ll singlehandedly change who you are into the person you want to become.
All you do is visualize a goal, create a plan and path to achieve it, and get out of the way each and every day. You will arrive so much faster when you let go of the results beyond just visualizing them.
It’s a fine dance to walk that takes some skill — visualize a result, but don’t desire it as though your life depended on it. Set it, and let go of it happening.
Consciously willing your way with force doesn’t lead to results.
Allowing results to happen get’s results.
6. Have Trust In Your Faith
By providing a clear goal for your subconscious mind, you “activate” your Automatic Success Mechanism, which releases subconscious resources which take you directly towards your goal. — Dr. Maxwell Maltz
Therefore, the instinct of living is successful in and of itself.
You have a “mechanism” inside of you, that finds answers to problems. This is where intuition and creativity come from.
This is how you’re able to automatically do simple things like pick up a pen or drive a car without thinking. We take these things for granted but it’s very sophisticated to visualize arriving at a destination, sitting in a car (a crazy invention another persons “mechanism” invented in their head and created), visualizing an end point and then shutting down while your subconscious takes you there.
It’s the “shutting down” portion you need to be aware of. You need to shut down, and focus on the daily habit of subconscious priming that will naturally help you stay out of your own way on your journey toward your vision.
So next time you have a thought like “I’m bad at tech” or anything else, ask:
- “Why don’t I believe I can do this?”.
- “What has blocked me from believing I can do that?”.
- “What facts is it based on?”.
- “What have I concluded (created new beliefs) that’s holding me back?
Well have you tried the tech? How much time have you spent on it? It takes time learning new things and doing something once, twice or three times isn’t supposed to make you an expert.
7. Constantly Check Your Belief Systems and Stick To Facts
Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers. — Mignon McLaughlin
What beliefs do you have right now that may hold you back?
There’s no such thing as “I’m bad at tech”, there are only facts.
Perhaps you’re inexperienced at tech because you grew up during a time when that tech wasn’t as ubiquitous as it is today. Perhaps because of that you’ve decided you can’t be good at tech because you’re “too old” and have unknowingly held yourself back from taking on the challenge.
And don’t get me wrong, learning tech isn’t necessarily easy, it’s about the underlying belief of the self that creates other thoughts like:
“I’m learning this too slowly” — the fact is it takes a while to learn from square one. Or: “I should know how to do this.” Why should you?
What makes you think it’s not supposed to be hard? Young people have been conditioned from a young age to know tech.
Take on the tech!
8. When You Receive Initial Feedback, Don’t Be Hard On Yourself
The best performers are generally easier on themselves because they’ve experienced enough evidence that gives them the confidence to break through and achieve any goal they want.
What’s funny is they’re the one’s who often know how hard it is to learn something new or achieve a particular result but know how to take it on and have faith in the process.
When on your journey, think of yourself as a pre-programmed missile, moving toward a target successfully. Feedback and mistakes are inevitable, wind and things in the air and other elements may require adjustment.
See them as guides, and stay optimistic with these strategies that should maintain an optimistic attitude. That alone has the power to move you toward your goals in no time!
9. Know That Success Is Nothing More Than What You Perceive It To Be
The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure. — John C. Maxwell
I became “successful” when I matured and self actualized enough to learn that “success” is subjective, and happiness are feelings we often force ourselves to require external things to be give us though is nothing more than the chemical experience in our minds and the meaning we ascribe to our moments.
I now live in the living situation in NYC I’ve dreamed about for the last couple years. Now that I’m there (of course), it’s become the status quo and therefore isn’t something that fires my happy chemicals daily.
I now have to practice gratitude daily to remind myself just how great having this high standard of living is. However it’s become just that, a standard. So if I don’t watch my monkey mind that can’t be happy until it acquires more, even while living anywhere you want or “having everything”.
You will create unhappiness.
After my bouts with diet and exercise, I know why I diet and how to exercise.
After leaving a job to start a company because “successful people started companies and made lot’s of money” I realize failure and success have nothing to do with achieving outward goals.
We’re already “successful”, because we’ve survived. Now it’s about fulfilling ourselves and being happy on the day to day journey.
The luxury of our time is also our biggest curse. Survival is easy, happiness is hard.
Survival is a science, happiness is art.
Success is being able to stay out of your own way, and allowing your successful self to live it’s truth uninhibited.
Happiness is finding the fun in the journey.
Work on your subconscious like your life depends on it — because it does. I know I did every day and broke through. I do it daily now, because now it’s fun.
Do that, and you’ll do the deep self inquiry required to build the self awareness to become what you want and achieve anything.
Then it becomes a game.
Then it becomes unlimited.
Failure becomes an after thought because you don’t even recognize it anymore. You have faith in the process and the evidence to be confident.
You’re the missile moving toward your target, with your sensors adjusting to wind and correctly adjusting with ease. You do it with enthusiasm because you know you’re arriving there one way or the other — it’s just a matter of making it easy or hard.
Make it easy.
I’ve been hacking away efficiency and effectiveness for six years, and have produced a powerful list of 36 principles to become an elite performer.
Click Here to get the list right now!
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