The Hidden Trauma in Filing For Unemployment

How filing for unemployment during COVID-19 almost broke me

A couple of weeks ago, right after I got laid-off, I wrote about my experience here. I talked about my rollercoaster of shame, fear and confusion. In doing so, I opened the door for a lot of folks to share their difficult stories with me and I received a lot of support.

I won’t say the negative feelings are gone but the shame, fear and confusion have been joined by acceptance, pride and support. I am grateful for the brave people who shared their stories and the brave people who reached out to those of us hurting to sit with us and share our pain.

I can feel the difficult emotions starting to fade over time, but before I can move on and focus on the positive, there’s one more bear of an emotion that I have to digest: Helplessness.

An institutional adventure into a black hole of helplessness

In the field of psychology, particularly trauma, there’s a concept called secondary wounding. These are the wounds received not from a trauma, but from the reaction of our loved ones and our community. For example, when a woman reports a rape and the police officer makes a comment about her clothes or the neighborhood she was in, they shift…