The Massive Price You Pay For Not Performing Your Best Will Shock You

Aram Taghavi

Published in

The Startup

16 min readAug 15, 2018

You don’t feel what you miss out on when you can’t see it.

What you don’t know doesn’t hurt you, they say.

Fear of missing out, they call it.

Or “what could have been”.

That’s why seeing what could have been is so powerful, you see what you’ve lost.

Like the tear jerking final scene in HBO’s hit series, Six Feet Under’s grand finale.

This little video may teach you more than you’ll ever learn in a lifetime because it fast forwards to the end of every character’s life and reminds us that it always ends the same for everyone and just how inevitable and precious life is.

Most of you aren’t able to, or choose not to visualize that far ahead, to understand what matters, now. Those of you who do, win.

The most impressive 21 year old I’ve ever met said he arranged a mock funeral of himself, and invited his friends and family, so he could make sure he lived his best life.

What if you saw the life you can be living each day vs. the life you’re actually living right now?

It would make doing the right thing so much easier, wouldn’t it?

Science proves we fear losing what we have more than we care to gain more of.

And we’re all born with the purpose of evolutionary success, and while that means different things to different people, in one form or another,

We ultimately know what we need to do to be our best, so why don’t we do it?

The problem of being unable to experience what could be, is that we learn what we missed out on when it’s too late. We finally become old and wise and realize what could have been.

This is painful and why it’s been said that the definition of hell is when you’re consciously laying on your deathbed on your final days, looking back to see the life you could have lived and realized the life you did live.

That’s why I commissioned this art to envision myself on my deathbed regularly.

Avoid this fate of missing out.

It took me to age 34 to realize that there’s nothing more valuable than maximizing our potential, and that it’s our only duty in life.

A selfish duty we owe to ourselves. A duty to invest in, and love ourselves.

We have one life to live and nothing’s more important than the experience of our day to day existence.

Waking up inspired and happy.

Feeling electric and enthusiastic, what I call voracious enthusiasm.

Doing work that never feels like work because it’s about us, our growth and expansion.

It’s these people who have the courage to go out in the world and share their voice.

It’s Kanye West who has so much confidence and audacity that he can rap, do fashion, make film and do whatever he wants and tell the world to go f — k itself.

It’s Madonna who can shatter the cultural norms of her day and openly talk about her rape, beliefs and push a generation to think outside their comfort zone.

It’s these people who achieve the mastery required to be the best in the world which gives them the confidence to not only disregard what others say, but embrace creating more discomfort because they know the more they impact the people, the more they win.

It’s these people who never work a day in their lives because every day is so expansive they can’t help but operate with voracious enthusiasm.

To do something voraciously is doing it as though you’re devouring it, hungry for it.

This is why Steve Jobs said ‘stay hungry, stay foolish’. He was voraciously enthusiastic and why he advised the graduating Stanford class in 2005 this:

When you fuze it with enthusiasm, you’re devouring every moment of your life and living every moment as purposeful and meaningful as possible — you’re on fire.

The sad part is such a small part of the population (and this is the enlightened over achieving part) will only get glimpses of it, and the saddest is most never will.

If you’re thinking I’m crazy, it probably is crazy for you.

But it’s all relative and this is normal to people who are close and of course the standard for people who understand what I’m getting at.

If you want to be average, do what the average person does. If you want to be the .1% who live at the absolute height of their existence, do what they do.

This isn’t about money or achievement either, it’s about you and evolving by choice to be your best for it’s own sake.

It took me leaving a $300k a year job at a great company in exchange for personal growth, starting and failing at two of my own companies, to finally earning it on the third, to realizing that we are our best when we meaningfully practice the task that we were uniquely born to do each day — which for me has clearly become writing.

This is what I’m uniquely gifted at and this is what will make me the best at what I do.

It was the emotion behind my article that had it rise high enough to have Ashton Kutcher share it with his 18 million followers.

Everyone is born genetically unique, and born with a type of craft they’re best at based on their development in childhood, brain and environment.

And everyone has an ego, an ego that drives us to survive and compete to be our best and leave a grand legacy behind.

We’re wired to make it as grand as possible.

Family → Tribe → Community →World.

Relationship makes work matter. Without relationship, nothing would really matter whether it’s art or anything else.
Would you do what you do if no one saw it?

Therefore, everyone has something so meaningful that makes them emotionally charged and voraciously enthusiastic each day. This is when ‘work’ no longer becomes work but riveting fun.

This is when mastery, deep work and talent merges to create something that’s bigger than one’s self that it supplies this level of enthusiasm.

Just getting out of bed in the morning get’s you high on life.

This is the secret to how people are able to ‘tirelessly work’.

They’re working in a state that betters themselves at faster and faster rates. They’re experiencing themselves evolve in the moment.

This is why sages for centuries have said to “be who you are”, and that you must find that activity you can’t not to, that thing that’s always driven you.

For me, it’s writing and devouring knowledge.

For the Beatles it was the instruments they played and the writing of songs they did.

They played for 10,000 hours, but they surely didn’t work for a minute of it.

This is why people are driven to commit themselves to problems that piss them off so much they can’t help but commit their lives to the problem.

Not for the people they serve (though the people end up being served well as a by-product), but because it’s for themselves to become their best and feel greatness.

This is why I’m writing film screenplays and tv scripts exclusively on poverty and policing in black communities because I’m pissed at the people who knowingly created it, and I’m pissed at the injustice people of color have had to go through as a result.

But the bottom line is it’s all for me, and when I add my natural born task that takes my voracious writing and knowledge acquisition, and my confident, creative voice of mastery to a problem, watch out world.

You can too and must.

Here’s What It’s Costing You And How To Make It Stop

1. You

Your state of mind determines your day to day experience each day, and the meaning you assign to your moments determines that state.

So how important is your existence? 1–10.

How valuable is your time? 1–10

I went from New York to DC the other day to go to my closest mentors charity event last night where she was being honored for an amazing award. There’s no way I would have gone to anything else had it not been her.

Even then, I went to the cocktail reception for one hour, afterward, they were showing the brand new film that hasn’t come out yet called “Downsizing” with Matt Damon.

It was fun and I would have had a good time watching it with old friends, but it was a no brainer to skip it to go back home and read, write and train.

This isn’t because I’m what’s typically considered a “workaholic” who ‘doesn’t like to have fun’. Though am sure a lot of people will choose to perceive it this way.

It’s because growing myself is fun, and was for me. I choose growth over passive entertainment.

It’s maximizing my potential. Feeding my endless wonder and learning that’s insatiable.

Because I believe:

So what’s your level of voracious enthusiasm? How close to your peak are you operating?

How much meaning do you believe your life has?

How meaningful are day to day tasks whether it’s eating or doing your work? How excellent are you because you feel it’s your duty to be excellent?

The reason the wisest words of our human existence (think of the spiritual books people like Jesus and the Buddha wrote) came from people who believed it was their duty because they were “called by God”, isn’t because they were called by a god but it was so clear to them that life was made worth living because of this task, and that being their best wasn’t just a punchline, but something they owed to the world because it allowed them to maximize their potential and be their best. Therefore it was their duty to follow the calling and impact the world.

That is what makes something “bigger than you”, and it’s that belief, confidence and evidence (from emotion) that gives you that endless drive and conviction to live in a high state of voracious enthusiasm each day.

Now that you know what’s possible, what’s it actually costing you by not living in this state?

Not your family or anyone else (though it also costs them too) but you, yourself?

Every day you’re not living with voracious enthusiasm:

you’re receiving less
achieving less
fulfilling less

and therefore deserving less.

Every day you’re not living with voracious enthusiasm:

You’re doing less.
Living less
Meaning less and attracting less.

Every day you’re not living in this state you’re loving less, being less and doing less.

Though it’s all intangible, what’s it costing you in the real world?

Every day you’re not living in that state, you’re earning less, f — king less, sleeping less and learning less.

Every day you’re not living in that state, you’re feeling less, enjoying less and appreciating less.

Now, what if you were living in that state? Every day you are living in that state, you’re being more, learning more and loving more.

Every day you’re living in that state, you’re working more, coaching more, serving more.

Every day you’re living in that state, you’re deserving more, earning more and receiving more.

Every day you’re living in that state, you’re doing more, seeing more and running more.

In that state, it’s clear what you need to do and how you get there naturally occurs. Wealth get’s redefined to the natural laws of what attracts it.

I don’t believe in ‘becoming a billionaire’ or ‘getting rich’ or whatever language meme that’s taken over people’s minds because it doesn’t mean anything outside of the digits in a bank account.

Anything outside of basics becoming made more convenient (Ie. good healthy food to save time or having space that’s adequate for relations and quiet space) are unnecessary.

My vision’s fruition is clear, not because I have money or success or don’t, but because I recognize what wealth really is, and am able to see all the wealth around me and understand how people and markets work which is simple.

I know exactly how this translates into tangible money because all you have to do is create value for the right people.

With things like Facebook to reach whoever you need to reach, this becomes easy and clear. I’ll never have to leave my house and I’ll be able to spend my time further expanding myself and my work and watch the financial compensation follow as a byproduct of the value I create for others.

Your Family

How’s this affecting your significant other?

When you don’t have voracious enthusiasm, are you able to love well?

Are you putting your best foot forward thereby eliciting your significant others best foot forward?

Is that the best you can do for them? Are you teaching them at the level that brings out their best so they can teach you at their best?

Dr. Joe Vitale says: “Everyone you come into contact with simply mirrors your internal belief system.”

What standards do you have for your relationship and therefore what’s it costing your significant other?

They receive less, get loved less and feel less of you.
They get fucked less, they get fucked worse and see less of you.
They feel love less, and give it back less in return.

They’re less emotional (in a positive way) and expect less.

Everything always averages back to the mean so their state of existence is literally less as a result of you not being your best.

How’s this affecting your kids?

Are you everything you want them to think you are?

Are you the example you want to set for them?

Do you want them to be conditioned to perform at their peak as well?

You can’t say one thing and do another.

And if your subconscious mind doesn’t believe what your conscious mind tells them, they won’t believe you anyway. They’ll know you’re lying when you tell them what to do.

This is the difference between the happy satisfied kids that end up achieving vs. the ones who end up struggling? I know because I was the struggling one had to overcome and figure out these hard truths on my own.

Physical Health

“Your body is a reflection of your subconscious mind.” — Dr. Candace Pert

It’s known that physical health is the result of mental health and that you’re body is a reflection of your subconscious mind.

I wholeheartedly believe this as a former fat kid who had to overcome bullying, being called the ‘foreigner’ at school and who girls didn’t like.

We certainly don’t overeat because our bodies crave it, we eat to fill voids because our emotions are stimulated.

When you perform with voracious enthusiasm, you don’t even care to think about ‘food’. It’s just perceived as fuel and you appreciate eating the same basic fuel over and over again (it sounds boring yet you still manage to enjoy eating more).

You see restaurants as absolute luxuries that aren’t necessary though certainly appreciate them for their convenience to save the things that matter like time.

Most importantly, you appreciate the abundance in all food and literally don’t care what you eat so long as you’re able to get in the necessary calories, that are generally healthy so you can live in an optimized state.

I feel the same way when I eat my eggs and spinach than if I go to my favorite Micheln starred restaurant that’s a block away from my apartment.

I literally don’t care. I just look forward to eating no matter what it is though frankly don’t care for it given it takes time (and why I do intermittent fasting to both perform my best and save time).

When you have voracious enthusiasm, you’re so enthusiastic about your growth that you don’t have time to think about food. It becomes secondary.

I’m not saying the purpose is to starve yourself or not enjoy food, but sustenance just becomes maintenance and get’s framed in a healthy perspective. This, coming from someone who suffered with food and will power management issues until a couple years ago upon discovering voracious enthusiasm and a ketogenic diet.

It’s why we sometimes forget to eat because we’re slammed at work back to back or because we’re so immersed in a book or craft that we lose ourselves in it.

With voracious enthusiasm, this is how you think about food.

Now imagine if you thought this way about eating and food, how healthy would you be?

In this state, you’d be lighter all the time and have more energy.

In this state, you’re likely to live longer because you’d naturally begin to cut out things like sugar and junk.

In this state, you’d crave less but feel satiated.

In this state, you wouldn’t care about food (which is the trick to being skinny) so you’d simply eat when you felt like it and stop when full.

In this state, you’d remove emotion from your eating.

In this state, you’d workout more effectively because you wouldn’t have to workout all the time and so hard to burn calories.

Now think about where you are right now in terms of physical health and what it’s costing you

Do you over indulge to over compensate for other emotional lack?

Do you have energy to work well, love well, f — k well and be well?

Could you produce more to earn more if you were voraciously enthusiastic?

Here’s How To Make It Stop In 3 Steps

1. What Can You Can’t Not Do? It Starts Here

What’s constantly kept you coming back that lights your brain up with ferocious passion and emotion.

What are you intuitively exceptional at without thinking.

What were your childlike inclinations

Everyone has that task or activity they’d be willing to starve for to practice. Discover or re-discover yours. *Hint in childhood you’ll find glimpses of it. Mine was journaling my dreams and goals over and over.

2. What Makes You Extremely Emotional?

What intuitively makes the hairs on your arms stand up? Emotion creates motion and emotion.

Belief creates conviction.

All these are energy you want to be able to naturally have to manufacture every day.

At my last company, we made training software for learning and training departments at large companies.

I loved my team and our company but I wasn’t the coder that built the product (my born to do activity), and showing up each day wasn’t expansive for me. The activity of selling software to big companies prevented me from maximizing my personal potential so after we got to a certain point of success, the decision was clear to follow my writing calling exclusively.

Therefore, it was very hard to manufacture excitement and enthusiasm each day.

3. What Personal Challenge or Suffering Have You Had To Overcome?

Re-contextualizing suffering is another key to unlock voracious enthusiasm.

If I told you Facebook today connects the world because Mark Zuckerberg wanted to overcome his dorky suffering of attracting girls (something very common that drives men to become their best) by using his uniquely born to do task of coding that he was best at, would you believe me? Well it’s true.

He fused the activity he was best at with coding, and kept it going. Facebook became the vehicle that allowed him to maximize his potential with it’s higher and higher requirements for engineering, that drew out Zucks greatness more and more at faster and faster rates.

He kept doing it and doing it and growing and growing and FB then went from his college, to other colleges to all colleges across America and now the world.

Zuck is proof that our potential is limitless if voracious enthusiasm is reached. Connecting the world is just a by-product of Zucks personal growth.

As legendary MD, PHD, Sir David Hawkins says:

“One of the most effective tools for handling the past is the creation of a different context. What this means is that we give it a different meaning. We take on a different attitude about the past difficulty or trauma, and we acknowledge the hidden gift in it.”

The pioneer of this was first recognized by legendary Halocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl.

In his famous book, Man’s Search for Meaning, his clinical and personal experience demonstrated that emotional events and traumatic occurrences will chance considerably and be healed if a new meaning is placed around them.

In Hawkins’ legendary book Letting Go, Frankl explains his own experience in the Nazi concentration camps wherein he came to see his physical and psychic suffering as an opportunity to achieve inner triumph.

He said:

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s own attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Frankl re-contextualized the horrific circumstances to hold profound meaning for the human spirit’s capability.

Realize the hidden gift that comes with human suffering.

Realize the gift that comes with personal triumph and overcoming.

When you’re driven to overcome personal trauma, especially from childhood, you’re driven

Do everything for you, to be your best because you deserve the best.

Everyone has the capacity to impact the world with their unique inclination.

Most never will because they’re average and don’t see what it’s costing them.

Most never will because they’re blind to mediocrity.

Most never will because they can’t see what could have been.

Don’t be that person.

I’ve been hacking away efficiency and effectiveness for six years, and have produced a powerful list of 36 principles to become a seven figure operator.

Click Here to get the list right now!

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