The Mirage Of Self Validation

Our Not-so Obvious Attraction To The Obvious

Published in

The Startup

4 min readMar 16, 2018

We love ourselves, even more so when we’re right and even more so when we can prove it or point towards a prediction and say, “I knew it.” We love, lust and desire after predictive self-validation and we’ll do everything in our physical, mental, conscious and subconscious power to confirm the narrative of our future that we created of ourselves, based on our past experience.

It’s ultimate satisfaction and cozy-comfort watch ourselves splay the role we wrote out, edging on some form of masturbatory entertainment even. It’s positively delightful. But what’s the opportunity cost of self-validating satisfaction?

How about the opportunity to experience and appreciate the unpredictable nature of the unfamiliar? To experience the anxious excitement that some with the curiosity of ever new moment that unfolds before us?

We’re so busy being worried and distracted, trying to get ahead of the curve, vying to remain and preserve our relevance that we neglect to see it as entertainment. We’re playing out our predications in this never ending game of hide-and-seek.

We are the source of our own dissatisfaction and for the most part, our real problem is that we don’t have a problem.. at least not the one think they have.

When we spend the majority of your day thinking rather than consuming distractive information or doing mundane tasks you’ve developed a tolerance to through repetition… Working through tough problems, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone, let everything happen as it may and experience it for what it is…

We’ll be utterly satisfied, exhausted and excited from wake to rest. We’ll have an insatiable hunger, sleep so soundly that a minute feels like an hour and to top it all off we’ll wake up the next day, for the rest of our lives rejuvenated with the same excitement we had as a child when everything was new, unpredictable and without narratives to follow / maintain.

Contribute to what is now. The rest is gravy.

Today’s Raw Thoughts

“Most people’s problem is that they don’t have a problem; at least not the one think they have.”

ACTION & OUTPUT OVER THOUGHTS & POLISH

We’re wasting our time, energy and attention on thoughts and polish instead of actions and output. You don’t need to look cool, you can figure that out later and in fact your customer will tell you how to do it, for now just do great work. A lot of it. As much as you can, every single day. Just act and get it done. And then give it away until you’re drowning in great content and creations. And then chats whatever you want or feel you need to fulfill whatever insecurities that remain.

GIVE AWAY YOUR BEST STUFF

Take your best advice, your best most imaginative ideas and insights and give them away for free, to everyone. 99% of the people out there will do nothing with them and the 1% that do are so driven, intelligence and passionate that they would’ve won and figured it out anyway and probably even better than you. “But what do I get?” You get a trusted reputation of purpose, good-will and down right awesomeness. You gain the respect of the 1% and offer the opportunity of your life’s work and experiences to the 99%. You get everything.

“Presence over presence. If you’re there, be there.”

NO ONE IS WATCHING YOU, NO ONE CARES

No ones watching. We act as if the world is, that most of what we do matters externally to others for more than a second or two, it doesn’t. They’re busy living and being distracted by their lives the same way we are to ours. So relax, do your thing, whatever it is and do it with purpose and intent.

WE DON’T NO POSSIBLE. NOT-EVEN-CLOSE!

It is wild to think and ponder about what may be possible, that we’re biologically fully capable of, that exists just beyond the minute of our comprehension. What might we be capable of, as a species, that we’ve skipped over in evolution or that lies just outside of our realm of imagination but within our capability. Fascinating.