The Next Step to Getting What You Want — Be Specific and Clear

“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.” — Jules Renard

Please note — this is a follow-up and Part II to the article, The First Step to Getting What You Want is Making the Ask. You can read that here.

The first step to getting what you want is your willingness to ask for what you want. As I detail in part one of this series above, so much of your success will be determined by other people. Yes, you’re the one accountable and you have to take the initiative to go after what you want. But so often, we need the help of others. We need to let people know what we want. We need to ask.

When you ask, the world has an uncanny habit of giving you what you ask for.

But what comes next? The first step is asking for help, asking someone to work with you, asking to learn from a mentor, asking for — an opportunity. Asking for a chance at a new relationship or a fun, new activity to participate in. From there, you can turn your attention to the most important thing you can do to get someone else to help you. And you’ll need it if you want to be successful.

Becoming Your Best

LeBron James is an example of a great athlete and highly successful individual who continued to set big goals from the time he came into the NBA. LeBron wanted to make an All Start team. Then make the Playoffs, then win a Championship, MVP award and so on. It culminated in his proclamation that he wants to be the greatest player ever. And with his talent and work ethic, who could blame him?

“I have a personal goal to be the greatest. That I maximize my potential, that I got everything out of my career and I got everything out of my game that I could and that I pushed the envelope. When people said I couldn’t get better, I continue to strive to get better.” Source: USA Today

It doesn’t get any more specific and clear than saying you want to be the greatest player ever. For an athlete like LeBron James, that’s highly admirable and incredibly lofty to attain. For a software developer whose passion is food, maybe your goal is to develop a food-industry app that helps people to identify gluten-free foods that are both nutritious and affordable. That is specific.

It comes down to being clear about your intentions — both for yourself and so others can help you. Here’s another example:

Let’s say you want to start a successful online clothing business. Here’s an example of being specific:

Specific: I want to sell women’s dresses and skirts that are lightweight, breathable material meant for warmer-weather months, geared toward the modern, athletic woman. That’s pretty specific right there.

Not Specific: I want to sell women’s dresses and skirts that suit the modern woman.

That doesn’t work very well. Extremely broad — and you better have a killer product.

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

The Next Step

When I started moving in the direction of my dreams a few years ago, I met with the Chief Operating Officer of one of 10 largest private companies in the United States. I had previously done consulting work for this company and was brainstorming ideas for different paths I could pursue in my career. We tried figuring out if there was a place for me at his company.

I realized I wanted to ultimately wanted to start my own coaching business (which I did) and to become a writer, author and speaker who brings a positive, inspiring and practical message to millennials and young adults. I’ve tailored my message down from there to be more specific, but I want to frame the picture for what I communicated to this top executive.

He told me,

“Christopher, you have a great idea. And I think you have the right tools to be successful. But you’re going to have to work hard. You’re going to need to be very clear with your intentions. People like me can help you, and you’ll NEED people to help you along the way. Every time you ask for help, tell people EXACTLY what you want. Don’t beat around the bush.

Don’t be afraid to tell people exactly what it is that you want, precisely what it will mean to you to have it, and specifically why you want to do what you want to do. When you have that level of specificity, you will have confidence and conviction. Two of the most important skills to have on your journey toward living your dreams.”

I knew what I needed to do from there. I didn’t want to be like everyone else hoping to start an entrepreneurial track. I wanted to stake out a niche, but most importantly I wanted to develop a greater confidence in what I was doing. I had to get specific — I did and it’s made an enormous difference. I get to do the work I want with the people I want. It’s that simple.

Take this “feedforward” approach from famed coach, Marshall Goldsmith, via the Harvard Business Review:

1. Describe your goal clearly and simply to anyone you know.

2. Ask for two suggestions. Encourage creative ideas.

3. Listen carefully. Write the suggestions down.

4. Respond with “thank you.” Nothing more. No excuses or defensiveness.

5. Repeat by asking additional people. Source: HBR

We talk a lot about having the courage and confidence to get what we want in life. The first step is truly the willingness to make the request, to ask someone to help you out. The next step is to be clear. When you’re clear and specific, you firm-up your mind by mentally and emotionally preparing yourself to pursue your goals with vigor and purpose.

“Not getting what you want either means you don’t want it enough, or you have been dealing too long with the price you have to pay.” — Rudyard Kipling

Be specific and set specific goals that are measurable and achievable. Be a great listener AND be a great thinker. Write down the ideas you have, look back at them and determine whether those are the ideas that you want to let ride — the ones you’ll take to market and look to turn into gold. So often, we’re not nearly as far away as we think from our biggest dreams.

But we lack the knowledge or the methods it will take to get there. We’re only a few adjustments away, yet until we reconcile this and figure it out, it seems so far. Get specific. Set big goals. Incredible leaders and success stories conquered their biggest fears and achieved amazing goals by getting clear on exactly what they wanted. You can start today on the same journey.

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