The Seeds of Growth

I consider the value of a leader not by how much they are missed when they leave, but by how much they don’t need to be. The role of a leader is not to accumulate followers, but to inspire leadership.

I have been asking myself what foundations I can lay for positive transformations to outlast my presence. Looking back at the road I’ve walked so far, I tried to identify learnings that would help others develop their own potential as both individuals and leaders.

I have identified three fundamental qualities which, more than others, have helped me develop as a human being and as a leader. These are Honesty, Curiosity and Courage.

In my interpretation, they are interdependent for success. I discuss them below, but if you don’t have the time or don’t feel like reading the whole article, here are the key takeaways:

• Honesty. Know yourself. Learn to pause before acting. Take the time to observe your feelings and learn to recognise the hidden drives that influence you. Be honest with yourself without judgement. Treasure your mistakes as opportunities to learn. Accepting your humanity is the first step towards controlling it.
• Curiosity. Fall in love with knowledge. Read the works of passionate scholars who have dedicated their lives to understanding human nature and the world. Keep your critical thinking sharp by discerning facts from fiction and evidence from assumptions. Foster a culture of experimentation, where mistakes are blameless opportunities for learning.
• Courage. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Only by stepping outside your comfort zone can you truly grow. Have the courage to observe your humanity and be honest with yourself. Have the courage to speak sincerely, upholding your beliefs while being open towards changing your mind. Have the courage to openly accept your mistakes and learn from them.

Honesty

When it comes to honesty, you may think it‘s mainly about being sincere to others and acting with integrity according to the common principles of society. Yet, an overlooked aspect of honesty is sincerity towards oneself and integrity according to one’s own principles.

What does it mean to be sincere to ourselves? Our words and actions are influenced by biological and psychological factors that have subconscious components. This means that we act while being unaware of many of the drives that shape our decisions. We often mistake the part of a decision we are conscious of as being all there is to it. This mistake contributes to an illusion of full awareness and control over our choices. Yet, we often make choices that we regret as soon as we become aware of them. Have you ever spoken words that you regretted saying as soon as they left your mouth? Have you ever made a split-second decision that, in hindsight, made you question what thoughts could ever have led you down the path of such obviously poor decision-making? These kinds of episodes should make us question the level of awareness we actually have over our decisions.

Honesty towards oneself is the ability to recognise and admit to ourselves the real reasons that drive our decisions. It is a skill first learned retrospectively through reflection and then trained towards proactive mindfulness. Ultimately it should translate into deeper awareness over our decisions and greater control over our actions.

First of all, we should learn to recognise our humanity, with its baseline desires and fallacies. Under the complex framework of our social interactions and rational thoughts lie the same basic desires that have driven our species since before it manifested the peculiar ability to abstract context in mental models. We still have basic needs that are common throughout the animal kingdom. We need to drink, eat, sleep. We feel the need to respond to our bodily signals. These needs can become so urgent that everything else is put aside. When you are busting to go to the toilet, that becomes your main focus, no matter how important everything else may be. The effects of not catering to our bodily needs can also be more subtle. Lack of sufficient nutrition or sleep causes significant impairments to our higher-order functions. One of the effects, paradoxically, is the inability to detect such impairments. If you ever had a crucial conversation while hungry, you may have noticed a reduced ability to manage your emotional reactivity. And if you haven’t noticed, it is likely that somebody else has. When sleep-deprived, you may be unable to perform a mentally demanding task you are usually capable of carrying out. Yet, despite their extent, we often remain unaware of the effects that our bodily needs have on our behaviour.

We think of ourselves as rational beings, but there is a significant amount of irrationality that colours our behaviour. Can we control our irrationality or are we doomed to remain slaves to it? I think that we can increase the level of control we have over our behaviour by increasing our self-awareness. Our higher-order functions have the ability to detect and filter our mammalian and reptilian impulses. How can we improve this ability? The first step is to look after our body. Maximising the ability of the prefrontal cortex to filter the amygdala, allowing our superior mental structures to voluntarily plan a response suited to the situation, is best achieved in a healthy individual. A balanced diet, sufficient sleep and physical exercise are effective strategies to keep our mind rational, aware and sharp. When it comes to keeping our mind in good health and capable of detecting deviations from its healthy baseline, there is no silver bullet, no miraculous pill, no pseudo-scientific method that can substitute the simple and constant efforts of looking after ourselves. Exceptions are acceptable, as long as they don’t become habits. Use your best judgement. Look after your body and your body will look after your mind.

Once the basic physiological needs are satisfied, influencing factors on our decisions become more psychological. As we climb Maslow’s hierarchy, we encounter the need for safety and stability. Any threat to our safety and to the safety of our loved ones will become a priority. So will any threat to our financial stability. If you lost your job, would you have the confidence of easily being able to find another one? Would you have other means of financial support? Catering to our safety and stability needs does not only mean taking action to safeguard the present state, but also planning ahead, without anxiety, but with sufficient resilience. It means developing skills that allow us to adapt and offer us the possibility of experimenting, learning from our mistakes and evolving by stepping out of our comfort zone without taking excessive risks.

Further up the hierarchy, we find needs of love and belongingness, followed by needs of esteem. Are we trying to fit in? How much are we concerned about the judgement of others and how is this influencing our thoughts and words? Are we saying what we really think? And even if we think we are, how much are we influenced by needs we may be unaware of? We are often blind to the recipe of our thoughts and actions.

Have you ever felt the need to cut somebody off in a conversation? Have you ever struggled with finding the right moment to intervene under a building sense of urgency? Why was the pressure rising? What were you afraid of? What would have really happened if you had not been able to speak? In those situations, you’re likely responding to psychological needs rooted in our evolutionary moulding. Maybe you’re trying to impress somebody. Maybe you’re trying to avoid being left out. What you are likely doing, is responding to the social dynamics of the powers at play. Where do you fit in the power hierarchy of the situation? Is there an opportunity for you to ascend that hierarchy? At what cost? What are the risks associated with taking action? Is somebody threatening your status? Do you have enough confidence in your words having the desired effect? Are you trying to maintain your position, possibly defending it from a threat, or are you trying to improve it?

Ultimately, you are following the drive to improve, assert and maintain social status. The mechanisms involved in this process have a deep subconscious component based on our evolution. A better social status means more power, which translates into better opportunities for you and your offspring. You are serving your genes.

You may disagree, you may think that in the particular occurrence you have in mind, somebody was mistaken and you wanted to correct them, that you were actually trying to contribute to the conversation. Why the sense of urgency then? If you had not spoken up on that occasion, would that have precluded you from contributing with your point of view at a later moment? Would that moment really have been too late? There was a combination of factors influencing your feelings, thoughts and actions. There was probably a genuine intention to add value to the conversation, mixed with the aversion of losing either an established status or an opportunity to improve it. You did not want to lose the chance to assert yourself, to appear smart, possibly at the expense of somebody else. Does the idea make you feel uncomfortable? Does it clash with your principles? The first step towards self-aware honesty is to humbly accept your humanity and learn to recognise it. The second step is to own it and take control over it.

Think of leaders you admire. What makes them effective communicators? In my experience, great leaders appear confident even when navigating uncharted territories. They seem able to orchestrate the flow of information in a conversation, allowing knowledge to emerge, currents to form, waves to add and cancel each other out, intervening with clarity when wanting to ensure that the purpose of the discussion isn’t lost. They allow for questioning and discovery whilst progressing the overall effort towards the goal. What can you learn from this kind of behaviour? What allows them to be so effective? How do they manage to focus their energy into a purpose with minimal dispersion towards the hidden goals set by social dynamics? You may argue that it’s because they are in a position of power. Yet, it is likely that what helped them obtain such a position was a pre-existing ability to communicate confidently and effectively. These effective communicators have mastered the art of responding instead of reacting. They are capable of controlling their impulses, which enables them to formulate a purposeful response. They know how to evaluate their options, considering the risks and consequences of each in a few seconds or less. Their timing is deliberate, it gives them the opportunity to think with the added benefit of displaying self-control and confidence.

So, what’s the best way to achieve such an ability? As with any other skill, practice is the key. The first step is simple, but not easy: learn to pause. Whenever you’re about to say something, stop, breathe, take a few seconds to think.

Listen to your body. Do you experience tightening in the chest or an anxious feeling in the stomach? Are you tensing your muscles, clenching your jaw or fists? Are you nervously fiddling with your fingers? Different people display different symptoms, some being more common than others, but they are generally indicative of a subconscious urgency, a sense of discomfort caused by a perceived threat. You are most likely unaware of these subtle feelings or behaviours until you pay attention to them. Recognising these indicators is a simple and useful way to detect subconscious factors that may be influencing your thoughts, words and tone. Breathe deeply, relax your muscles and assume a dignified posture. Keep your back erect, but not stiff. Notice if you’re leaning towards or away from others. These postures are indicators of your intentions. Deliberately choose your body language according to the meaning you wish to convey. Lean in if you wish to signal interest, but be careful not to appear invasive. Lean back if you want to appear relaxed, but be careful not to seem uninterested. Keep your shoulders relaxed, stay in control of your body not by tensing it, but by mindfully filtering out subconscious manifestations. What are your facial expressions saying? Are you smiling in a friendly way or are you possibly conveying arrogance? What are your eyes telling? Are you concentrated or is your gaze distrustful? What are these signs telling you about what you are really thinking? Are you more aware of your subconscious motives by paying attention to your body language?

Observe what you’re about to say. Imagine the effect of your words and tone from the point of view of a listener. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end? What would you think? Learn to recognise the shape of your delivery. Your words are vessels in which the messages of your mammalian instincts will travel as clandestine passengers. Learn to spot them in the tone you’re painting your words with. Learn to recognise their demands in the urgency you feel to speak and accept their existence. To gain control over your intentions and actions you need to practice the simple act of observing your humanity without judgement, but with acceptance. The more you learn to observe and recognise your own truth, the more efficient you’ll become at filtering unwanted manifestations, speaking with deliberate purpose and controlling your actions with the awareness of your intentions.

Think about the individuals around you, what does each one make you feel? What effect is their body language having on you? What are their words making you think? What are you observing and what are you projecting? What do you know about other people and what are you assuming? What story are you telling yourself? Can you detect your own biases? Being able to discern between the objective facts and your subjective story is a key skill in communication. “That person criticised my idea” is a fact, “That person doesn’t like me” is a story. Formulate your questions and responses based on facts instead of stories. By doing so you’ll be less likely to create misunderstandings and more likely to maintain a constructive conversation. From the perspective of honesty, the more you practice recognising your inner stories, the more you’ll notice the feelings that are associated with them and learn about their formation. You will learn a great deal about yourself by simply pausing to observe your inner landscape.

The Greek aphorism “γνῶθι σεαυτόν” (transliterated: gnōthi seauton), “know thyself”, is a simple yet meaningful teaching. Simple doesn’t mean easy though. Knowing yourself is a never-ending effort, both because of the complexity of your mind and the fact that you are not a static being. You are changing through your everyday experiences. Like a river, find your path by feeling every nook and cranny of your mind. Form the riverbed not as a straight line towards the sea, but as a reflection of the land it visits.

You will make mistakes. Accept them as steps towards improvement. Own them candidly, without shame and without excuses. Apologise and use the experience to build resilience. Part of accepting your humanity is accepting the inconsistency of your inner state, the fluctuations of your awareness and ability to control your impulses. Each mistake that you don’t hide from yourself becomes a pattern your brain learns to recognise. I find that leaders who own up to their mistakes without making excuses display a strong sense of confidence which, paradoxically, stems from being openly vulnerable. People who candidly admit their humanity are unafraid of it. You can only take control of your humanity if first you accept it.

Each time you behave unskilfully, take the opportunity to retrospectively analyse the reasons for your behaviour. The more you learn about yourself, the more you’ll be able to learn. By reflecting on the inner reasons for your actions you will learn to recognise behavioural patterns more accurately and efficiently. You will train your brain to associate reactions to causes through optimised pathways. However, your ability to recognise and filter your impulses on the spot will only increase significantly if practised in the moment. You will need to train your pre-frontal cortex in generating prompt responses. The practice of reflection will allow you to retrospectively explore your behaviour with no time limitations, while pausing before acting will exercise your ability to apply your learnings when they are most needed.

Knowing yourself will also help you to understand others. Despite individual differences, we share the same baseline. Understanding your own human behaviours will allow you to notice them in others. Try not to judge others for their fallibility, they are as human as you are. Out of knowledge should come humility. The more you know, the more you should be aware of what you don’t know. The more you learn about your humanity, the more accepting you should be of others. Learn to ask more and assert less. Encourage rational exploration without assumptions. Remember, you could be wrong.

Finally, I believe that honesty towards yourself will help you understand your moral landscape. Once you start understanding the selfish motives that evolution has placed at the source of your decisions, you will have a more realistic view of your true ethics. You will learn how clever psychological mechanisms hide the selfish reasons behind apparently selfless acts. You will learn how evolution has embedded instincts in you aimed at protecting your kin and ultimately your entire species. You will also learn that, as humans, we have the unique ability to take control of these drives through awareness, which enables us to live deliberately by the values and principles we choose to uphold.

Greater and deeper knowledge of yourself will guide you when having to choose between conflicting values. Imagine, for example, that you are given confidential information regarding a friend by a trustworthy source. The source has asked you not to disclose the information, as doing so will jeopardise their relationship with your friend. You believe that the information would benefit your friend, but do not wish to betray the informant’s trust. You are at loggerheads in your choice between keeping what you have learned to yourself and revealing it to your friend. You value both friendship and trustworthiness and are uncomfortable with choosing between the two. You might think that I’m about to suggest that your principles should guide you in choosing one value over the other. Instead, I’m going to suggest that choices such as the one in the example presented are often false dichotomies. Sure, you could say that you live by the principle of looking after your friends first and reveal the information. Alternatively, you could say that you live by the principle of never betraying anybody’s trust and choose not to disclose the information. In both cases, though, you’d be making a shallow choice. You would be applying a blanket statement to a nuanced situation. By getting used to pausing to think, you might start asking yourself questions that may help you navigate the situation. Start by challenging assumptions. You’ve been told that revealing the information may jeopardise the relationship between the informant and your friend. How likely is this true in your view? Is the source projecting unfounded concerns? You also think that the information would benefit your friend. What makes you think that? Are you sure that revealing the information is mainly to your friend’s benefit and not yours? Have you considered that a reason why you may want to reveal the information is to strengthen the relationship you have with your friend? Information has value, offering it as a gift creates an implicit debt and strengthens the perception of your worth to others. You may be unaware of this mechanism, but if you stop to observe the feelings associated with your choices, you may be able to detect some hidden motives. This will help you look beyond the obvious options and make a choice that is truly aligned with your principles. You could choose to speak to the informant and explain why you believe your friend should know the information. Once you’ve stripped away selfish motives from the value of revealing the information, your argument will likely be more rational and convincing. Rational strategies born out of honest reflection are more likely to be effective than instinct-based choices.

Integrity towards your principles can only be upheld if you truly understand the reasons behind your intentions and have a deeper understanding of the behaviour of others. If you wish to act with honesty, you must be first and foremost honest towards yourself.

Curiosity

I have often wondered why, as humans, we have a craving for knowledge. From the mundane to the technical, we want to know how the story ends. We gossip, read, listen, observe, just to know a little more. We are gripped by the twists in the plot and want to learn about the subjects we’re passionate about. Why is it so? Surely there is an evolutionary advantage in knowing where to find food, water, shelter and what dangers to avoid. As a social animal, sharing this kind of information has favoured our success. Yet, why do we care about what our neighbour does? Probably for the same reason why we dress according to our social status. We are trying to adhere to the norms of our social circle and weed out behaviours that may undermine its stability. Social circles provide us with safety and support. There are many subconscious mechanisms that drive our behaviour within them. We try to belong, conform and sometimes take risks to climb the social ladder. We may decide to go against the grain in a strategy that, if successful, may rewrite the rules of the group and make us their custodian. Should we fail, the fall may be harsh.

We are often subconscious strategists in the game of social dynamics. In our power play, information is both our tool and our currency. We manipulate it and offer it with a purpose. We share it to strengthen relationships with our allies and wield it to undermine our enemies. Once again, I ask you, does this perspective make you feel uncomfortable? Do you think I’m portraying a Machiavellian persona that you don’t recognise yourself in? Many of these mechanisms do not work at a conscious level. You probably act in line with your evolutionary programming without even realising it. Yet, if you learn to pause, observe your thoughts and the feelings associated with them, you may notice these mechanisms at play. The more you learn to recognise them in you, the more you’ll be able to recognise them in others. You will then be able to plan your strategies deliberately, free from instinctive behaviour. You’ll be able to act according to your values and principles whilst pre-emptying other people’s reactions.

What about our broader curiosity? What drives us to experiment, to try new things, to combine ingredients, mould materials, to observe behaviours and reactions, understand causes and consequences, learn about the world we live in and the laws of the universe? What drives us to explore beyond the limits of our world? What drives our broad thirst for knowledge?

If necessity is the mother of invention, curiosity is the mother of science. I think that our curiosity is deeply rooted in our evolution. Observe children, they are little scientists. They recognise patterns and test theories continuously. What happens if I drop this? Let me try that again! What reaction will I get from mum and dad if I do this? Our curiosity, combined with our ability for abstract thinking and complex communication, has given our species a game-changing advantage. Our intelligence confers our species the ability to infer new information from what we learn. We are able to create complex mental models based on the abstractions we formulate by observing patterns in the world. We can communicate complex concepts to other humans and build a pool of shared knowledge that empowers us. We benefit from the collective effort of each individual who pours new knowledge into the pool. No single human being possesses all human knowledge. We cross-pollinate ideas across borders and propagate knowledge through generations. Our children will inherit humankind’s shared knowledge, enrich it, transform it and pass it on to their descendants.

There is more, though, to the reasons that drive us to acquire knowledge than just the altruistic purpose of sharing it with the world. We have valued the wisdom of our elders through cultures and generations with reverend esteem, trusting their teachings would have made us better people according to the norms of our group. This would have given us an advantage in the ability to ascend the social ladder. Yet, it may have also allowed us to transcend its limitations by reaching a form of philosophical bliss.

The ability to channel and redirect our mammalian drives towards artificial goals, such as those set by religion or philosophy, is a curious human characteristic. Many species are capable of coordinating complex behaviours, but only amongst small numbers of individuals. Other species are capable of coordinating larger groups at the expense of behavioural complexity. We are the only species we know of that is capable of coordinating complex behaviours amongst large groups, often beyond social and geographical boundaries. We have achieved this by creating and spreading stories and myths. Believing in the same things allow us to behave consistently and predictably amongst strangers. Countries and borders, money and economics, cultural norms and beliefs, all have power because they are given meaning by large groups of individuals. They don’t have intrinsic value outside of the human sphere.

This great evolutionary advantage, while having allowed us to conquer the planet, has also caused fascinating side effects. These sometimes manifest themselves in behaviours that go against the overall benefit of an individual or group. Abstinence from food, sex, and other bodily desires, for example, seems like a behaviour that goes against the best interest of our genes. Yet, so many find value in forms of asceticism, striving for goals that transcend their bodily needs. We often devote our time and energy to practices that have no material value to us. Without considering particular beliefs or practices, we all seem to put a lot of effort into educating ourselves. While at a young age it is somewhat imposed on us, many of us choose to continue studying beyond what is strictly required of us, sometimes revolving our entire life around obtaining and refining knowledge. Some of us pursue careers in researching topics that don’t appear to have an immediate practical use. We strive to discover and learn with passion and dedication all aspects of the world within and around us.

In this perspective, knowledge seems to achieve a value that is independent of practical applicability. We look up to the people we consider experts on something and value their knowledge even when it doesn’t offer us a direct benefit. In general, being the keeper and dispenser of knowledge appears to increase social status. Knowledge, therefore, is power. It allows us to do new things, to improve the chances for our entire species, and increases the social status of its beholder. We use knowledge as a bargaining chip in our social transactions and manipulate it to our advantage. Irrespective of its purpose, knowledge has a commonly recognised value. It can dictate the position of individuals on the social ladder, it can shape the norms and behaviour of entire populations, it can adjust the course for the future of our species. Our relationship with knowledge, in a way, is the most fascinating characteristic of our species. It’s deeply rooted in our genes but manifests itself as an emergent behaviour of our complexity.

Through knowledge, we have the opportunity to liberate ourselves from the subconscious drives that influence our decisions and shape our actions. With a deeper understanding of our nature and complex psychology, we can learn to recognise the patterns that indicate our evolutionary programming at work and have better control over its manifestation. Learn about human behaviour and the science behind it. Learn from your own observation, honest reflection and awareness. Learn from people who have dedicated a greater part of their lives to studying one or more aspects of our nature. Read the books they write and use your own judgement and critical thinking to choose your own takeaways. You will have a larger and more refined set of instruments to help you understand yourself and others.

Our curiosity, while rooted deeply in our nature, can become a deliberate means for our improvement. Consider knowledge as an empowering capital. Let your curiosity keep you thirsty for knowledge. Learn from passionate people, study with pleasure any topic that awakens your interest and move beyond the boundaries of what you believe you may be interested in. Learn about the world around us, learn about the cosmos, learn about the frontiers of science and human discovery. See how the river of human curiosity branches in many directions, but ultimately leads to the sea of shared knowledge that directs humanity’s future towards unprecedented horizons.

Keep your critical thinking sharp, always separate facts from fiction, evidence from assumptions, and your steps will be steady even in uncharted territories. Remember that you are always influenced by your biases. Walk without fear, but with the necessary caution when tempted to jump to conclusions.

Nourish a continuous-learning mindset by accepting failures as necessary steps towards success. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Accept your vulnerability in the face of uncertainty. Treasure mistakes and don’t be ashamed. If you acted with honesty and integrity, you can own them without faltering and without being afraid of anybody’s judgement. If you remain true to your curiosity and honest in accepting your fallibility, you will inspire others and foster a culture of trust around you. Inspiring by example is more effective than preaching good intentions. And remember, even failing to accept your failures is a mistake you can treasure, reflect and improve on.

You will always be learning and so will the people around you. If you foster a culture of curious experimentation, where mistakes are blameless opportunities for learning and improvement, you will set solid foundations for true growth and resilience. Those who are not afraid to fail, learn to recover better from perturbations and traumas. They will be triumphant in embracing change and thrive through the challenges of transformation. In a changing environment, static stability is a brittle illusion. Only dynamic adaptability can maintain true stability in a system.

Embrace your curiosity. Be a philosopher in the etymological sense of the term, fall in love with knowledge. Learn horizontally, by exploring many different things, and vertically, by deepening the understanding of what you already know. Use the knowledge you acquire to enrich with different perspectives your understanding of yourself and the world.

The more you know, the more you realise how much you don’t yet know. As your knowledge increases, so should your humility as you realise the vastness of your ignorance. This should not deter you from learning more. Remember that, while you cannot reach a final destination in the quest for knowledge, you become more knowledgeable with every step of the journey. If you embrace your curiosity with honesty, the more you quench your thirst for knowledge, the greater it gets.

Courage

If you never try something new, you never learn to do anything new. You must be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone if you wish to grow. You need to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

We fear what we don’t know. We need to face our fears to know what we don’t know. When confronted by uncertainty, we humans tend to project predictions, which, more often than not, are negatively influenced by our fears. In doing so, we tend to overestimate our ability to predict the future and underestimate our ability to adapt to change. We project negative scenarios as a byproduct of our survival and preservation instincts. Yet, in today’s day and age, such an attitude is more vestigial than useful.

It is unlikely that events will unfold as you picture them in your mind. You have too little information to make accurate predictions. Ask yourself, what is the worst possible scenario and how likely is it to actually materialise? What evidence do you have to support your conclusions? Even when outcomes are unfavourable, pain and discomfort are usually temporary. Once our frame of reference shifts to the new normal, we form a new centre of balance and get used to our new conditions. Events so catastrophic as to leave permanent damage are extremely rare. Even when hit by severe trauma, recovery is often possible. But these are rare scenarios that you probably don’t need to consider. So, consider the facts and take the step.

I’m not suggesting that you should be reckless. Courage is not temerity. Courage involves considering risks and their likelihood based on facts, then planning according to your risk appetite. If a course of action is too risky for the rewards, avoid it. However, if you wish to grow, you will need to take risks. You will need to raise your hand when challenges call for action and recognise the opportunities in disguise. Feeling uncomfortable is a sign of growth. Overcoming irrational fears is an act of self-development.

There is a difference between knowing and understanding. You may know certain things in your head, but only when you experience them can you truly understand them. Some forms of understanding are deeper than your intellect. Your rational mind can create accurate models of the world based on pre-existing information, however, being abstractions, these will be greatly simplified when compared with their concrete counterparts. Only experience can fill the gaps. You need to feel on your own skin what words can only attempt to express. Some objective observations can only be completed with subjective experiences. Wander the world and make your own mistakes like Hesse’s Goldmund, for a life of abstract studies may be purer, but, despite the fact that Narcissus may disagree, it’s likely to be emptier in its safety. Find a balance between theory and practice, read the word and feel it. You must have the courage to open both the book and the door. Each step you take further away from the familiarity of your home makes you grow. Each step you take beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone expands its limits.

Getting out of your comfort zone is only the first step, though. Once outside, you must tackle the challenges that you are presented with. Beware of the traps that beckon you back to comfort. When in an uncomfortable situation, you may feel the urge to postpone tasks that require more cognitive effort than usual. For example, you might want to avoid making decisions that feel too big, or you might want to avoid having a conversation you are scared of. You might make excuses to justify your procrastination, such as telling yourself that you have too little information, or maybe that you have too much information to go through before being able to make a decision. You might claim that you need to prepare more for that conversation. You might convince yourself that there are more important or urgent things to do. You might try to buy more time by adding unnecessary obstacles to your progress, such as asking for clarifications when you don’t need them or seeking further information when you could find it on your own. If you are honest with yourself, you will know when your reasons for not tackling a task are genuine and when you are making excuses. No matter the task, whenever you feel resistance in carrying it out, you are probably facing a learning and development opportunity. Courage is also doing the things that make you feel uncomfortable first.

You may also tend to settle for lower-quality results when striving for better ones would require taking steps outside of your comfort zone. While you don’t want to make perfect the enemy of good, you should also know your standards well enough to discern laziness from pragmatism. Pay attention to your instincts when something doesn’t feel right, they may reveal when good is not good enough.

Be ready to be wrong. When learning something new, you will make mistakes. Accept them and treasure them without frustration. Courage is also being open to your fallibility with humility. It takes courage to pause and refrain from giving in to the natural defence mechanisms that would make you find excuses for your mistakes or get frustrated at yourself for them. It takes practice to achieve consistency in self-awareness and control, and practice takes courage. Despite setbacks, have the courage to persevere in your efforts.

Be ready to speak sincerely. Whenever you disagree with somebody on something, ask yourself why, then be ready to respectfully explain your point of view. If you keep focussed on the facts and speak with respectful sincerity, you will set the scene for a constructive conversation. Distinguish with clarity between what you know and what you assume. Listen to the other perspective without interrupting and be open to changing your mind. If you truly believe in your point of view you should not be afraid to have it challenged. Do not, however, apologise for or diminish your opinion. If you have reflected honestly and spoken with respectful sincerity, you should continue to uphold your belief with courage. You can agree to disagree, but you should not change your position if you’re not convinced that it’s reasonable to do so. It takes courage to be open to changing your mind whilst standing your ground until you are honestly persuaded that you should reconsider your position. It takes courage to stand up for what you believe is right, especially if you have something to lose by doing so. It takes courage to act with integrity and coherence with your principles and values.

It takes courage to make decisions where, no matter what you choose, somebody will lose something. And if you must distribute losses for what you believe is the best choice, irrespective of whether the greater good or a long-term strategy, think about what you can offer to mitigate somebody else’s loss. Be the first to accept losing something if you believe in your choice, as this will prove your commitment and most likely earn you the respect of your opponents.

Don’t hide your mistakes. Accept them openly and apologise without making excuses. Remediate when you can, make amends if you need to, and use the opportunity to learn and improve. It takes courage to be openly vulnerable.

It takes courage to be honest with yourself and others. It takes courage to be curious and learn through failure. It takes courage to act courageously.

Leadership is not for cowards. Neither is life.

Conclusion

While there are many things you can do as a leader to enable individual development and inspire leadership in others, I believe that Honesty, Curiosity and Courage are the three necessary promoters of growth. If you are able to lead by example, embodying these qualities first-hand, you will create an environment of mutual evolution and improvement.