This Is How I Discovered My Superpower
And how you can find yours, too!
For years, I thought that strangers are engaging in a conversation with me because I’m a young person who walks around with a guitar. It is an easy way to execute a conversation — “Is that guitar?” or “I used to play years ago!”
But the truth is — strangers chat with me even when I do not carry an instrument. They find another way to engage.
Why do strangers approach me?
I was always the person people turned to when they needed an advice.
It wasn’t just my friends who appreciated my words, it was also random kids from school and even adults.
They had the utmost respect for what I had to say because I was genuinely interested in what they went through.
Growing up, I remember how I became friends with Mustafa, my elementary school’s janitor. He was 30 years older than me, yet I managed to find mutual interests and spent time with the one person most people ignored.
In fact, ever since I was a child I have always connected with people, especially the ones who are usually ignored.
I speak to people on trains and planes, exchange stories while waiting at the bus stop, and share life lessons with cashiers in local stores.
Most recently, I found myself sharing an advice with a lady who works at a car rental place when I came to hire a car. Funnily enough, she wanted to quit her job and find a way to start her own art gallery. We spoke for an hour.
For years, I didn’t understand why people came to me for an advice.
I guessed that it was because I try to be a positive person and do good.
But then why would a stranger approach me? They clearly don’t know if I am a positive person or a toxic one.
It is my superpower
I seem to be the dominant person in most conversations I have.
Even in a group discussion, I notice that the person who talks tends to look directly at me, almost ignoring the others. But why?
Is it because I listen and respond, either verbally or physically?
Is it because I speak or nod? Move my eyebrows, mouth, and even my hands?
We all do that, though. The only part where I differ is that I constantly practice my awareness.
I focus on what the others are saying. I focus on how they say it. I find what I can share, in a way that will benefit the conversation.
And that alone is not enough.
While speaking to people, I observe their body language and mine, too.
I try to make them feel that they are welcome to talk about anything.
This way, we can connect on a deeper level. I can take control, lead the conversation, and turn it into a success.
It took me years to understand that this is not a common skill but in fact a born talent. Something I excel in, naturally.
I remember how those who are close to me used to be in awe. They would watch me connect with strangers and sometimes laugh at me or tell me that I talk too much. They said: “why did you just make friends with this man?”
But what they actually meant to say was: “how did you just make friends with this man?”
Now I know why others always connect with me —
People are and always were my main passion.
My attitude, my body language, my expression, my words, and my tone — they all show it. We all easily feel someone else’s passion.
My passion for people helps me to connect with everyone.
It is quite possibly my superpower.
I discovered that helping others fulfills me
Over the years, I have become a professional musician. I wrote dozens of songs which I record and release. I perform live on stages, radios and TV shows. For years, I didn’t connect my life as a musician with helping people.
I thought that my music was mostly a personal thing, something I do to express my feelings.
One day, a friend called me and asked if my new single was written about him. The truth is — it wasn’t. But knowing he connected with the song so deeply that he thought my lyrics were about him showed me the power of my music. The power to affect and help others.
Two years ago, this calling of mine to help others led me to start a blog.
I wanted to find another way to reach people, apart from my music.
I spent hours researching, writing and editing my posts. Although people
responded and read my articles, something was holding me back.
I knew that with one short sentence I can help others embark on an emotional journey. To help them sail away and discover a new island. A new revelation about their lives.
But I was conquered by a big fear. I was too afraid to expose myself.
To show my face. To tell my readers who I really am. I didn’t even put my own name on the posts. Instead, I used a pseudonym.
While I was helping and coaching others, I couldn’t coach myself.
Friends, relatives, and musicians I worked with — I told them all about the importance of doing what they love in an honest and pure way. To be as transparent as they can and not to hold back.
The truth is — it’s much easier to help someone else than to help yourself.
I wasn’t as authentic as I advised all those who asked for my advice.
It might sound silly in this no-privacy era we live in, but this was a line I refused to cross.
I was afraid of what people might think of me. A musician in his 20s talking about self-fulfillment? What does this kid know, anyway?
I was afraid that my communication skills will be filtered through digital media. After all, my readers cannot see my body language or my expressions. They cannot see me for who I am.
Or so I thought
There are times in our lives when we feel like we do nothing.
But something always happens in the background. Sometimes our thoughts are still half-baked. They simply need more time.
We become confident when we allow ourselves that time. Confident that things will happen at the right time. We just need to wait for that “ding!” when the timer is done. Then, our thoughts are ready to be turned into actions.
And so, a few months ago I heard that “ding!” ringing in my head.
I finally knew exactly what I was looking for. I wanted to find an active community where I can express myself and learn. A place where I can help others start or continue their journey of self-fulfillment. I wanted to do this by writing on self-awareness, self-control, and self-improvement.
Most importantly — I wanted to be as honest and transparent as possible. If someone can’t take my advice because of who I am — so be it.
I thought that this place I was looking for is nothing but a utopia.
And then, after extensive searching — I found Medium.
I started to write and read. I paid for an annual membership. I respond to others’ posts and make new connections. I’m invested.
People connect with me even though they haven’t met me in person (yet)
and I’m in awe! Those barriers I was so afraid of do not exist.
I had to allow myself that time to evolve and defeat the fear that was holding me back.
What is your superpower?
We are all born with a natural skill.
Something we do exceptionally well.
A born talent. The funny thing about it is that we never analyze it.
We just do it well. It is our superpower.
It was only in recent years that I have embraced my natural communication skills. And what about you?
Have you discovered your superpower?
How aware and proud of it are you?
Do you use it every day?
If you haven’t found it yet, let me reassure you. It is there.
Your epiphany is around the corner.
In the meantime, keep practicing your awareness and always aim to improve. Engage in conversations with strangers here on Medium and out in your local area. Share your experiences and most importantly — be your true self. Transparent and honest. Trust in yourself and stay confident.
Your “ding!” will come soon.
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you want to do 👏
Thanks for reading! Feel free to follow me.
This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by 316,638+ people.
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