This Subtle Mental Shift Will Get You Access To Anyone You Want
(Without being obnoxious)
Recently at a business conference I heard something that may intrigue you.
One of the speakers taught the attendees about relationships. Essentially his business helps clients to get in touch with celebrities, successful men and women, or people they really look up to professionally.
He explained the value and the importance of strong relationships with people who are successful (agreed), and also the relative ease and possibility with which it is to get in touch with them (also agreed).
I mean no disrespect to this good man. I am sure he is providing a valuable service in this world and for his clients. I wish him the very best.
However, during this talk, I couldn’t help but wonder if it’s really necessary to have businesses and consultants for the sake of helping you “get access” to someone you admire.
I’ve done it.
It’s not super complicated.
Many people in my current network are heroes turned friends. Many of them would actually say the same about people they look up to.
Adopting the mindset that access to anyone is possible shifts your brain from an urgency and scarcity mindset to one of abundance and limitless possibilities.
It also shifts your focus to consumption to creation.
So many subtle mental shifts occur when you cease the hero worship.
For just a moment, ponder what your life would be like if you could become personal friends with anyone in any industry that you look up to.
What results could you accomplish?
How quickly could you achieve your highest goals?
What do you not know now that you could know soon?
Is that a result and life you want?
This article will teach you how.
In the next few minutes you will learn:
- How to find mentors who can help you achieve your largest goals
- How to align value to form massive collaborative partnerships
- How to become a more generous and kind person along the way
Are you ready? Let’s dive in.
Their Goals
If you’ve ever wanted to “network” with someone, it’s likely because:
- They know things you don’t know
- They know other people you want to know
- They have money you don’t have
- They have an influence/mindset/way of being that attracts you and that you want to be with
In some way or another, they are operating and playing at a higher field than you.
Because they are operating and playing at a higher field than you; the following two things are almost always correct:
- They set and achieve goals higher than your present self can comprehend/realize to get there
- They currently have goals to get to the next level in their own life.
Because the goals of those you admire are “2 levels” ahead of you, most people fail to stop and realize this second point.
Most people stop at one level and don’t think about the level beyond the level.
That’s the level that counts.
Ponder: the people you look up to have things they are trying to accomplish but have not yet done so.
They have challenges, fears, worries, insecurities, and frustrations on that path, as everyone does on the path of achievement.
Most people focus on the 1st level of goal-separation. The stuff that those they admire have already done.
That’s not what those people are focused on, though.
“You never hear Elon Musk talk about the Paypal days. Instead, you hear him talking about the problems he’s currently solving and the vision he is currently pursuing.” -Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Because of this, there’s a unique opportunity you have to help them.
People are attracted by generosity. Adam Grant wrote about this in his book, Give and Take.
Ponder those you admire, and what their goals are.
What is your boss trying to accomplish?
What is your boss’s boss trying to accomplish?
Who are the top performers in your field or industry trying to accomplish?
Putting yourself mentally in this frame will immediately do two things:
- You’ll begin to think at a much higher level and comprehend greater possibilities
- (IMPORTANT) You’ll become much more empathetic towards those you admire
Empathy is far different from admiration. Empathy is what peers do. Admiration is what fans do.
If you have empathy for those you admire, they will respond very positively.
Suddenly, you’ll regard them in the way that their close friends would. And, in time, you’ll become one of them.
As a byproduct of this mindset, your own goals expand.
Focus on their goals first. Be generous and open-minded.
Identify someone you admire professionally and spend 5 minutes pondering and writing what their biggest goals are.
If you’re not sure, look at what they are posting online. Ponder what the next step in your career would be if you were in their shoes. This is usually the easy part to figure out.
Your Value
Now that you have identified their goals, ponder the value you and them both contribute to the economy.
Every major player in your industry has a long list of problems they face.
If you somehow had the solutions to all of the challenges that bombard the desk of the CEO of Ford, would you be able to find a way to get access to him?
Absolutely.
I once emailed Jeff Bezos directly about ways the Kindle Fire could be better. That email got forwarded to the kindle product development team and they reached back out to me. It took me 5 minutes. I provided something valuable, no weird/hidden agenda, and no strings attached.
Your solutions may match their problems. We have a multiplicity of skillsets and talents in every industry.
You may not be able to solve every problem they face, or you would be them at their level.
But you can certainly spend some serious time thinking and pondering how to contribute your skills and your talents to the problems of those you look up to.
Consider it a personal mini-internship. An unpaid project to solve exciting problems going on in the lives of those you know of.
Identify a match between your skills and their gaps.
Reach out to them. Offer them your observations, and your insights.
If you’ve done this from an empathy mindset all along, you’ll come across as a peer, not a fan.
People are people.
Values
“You ever notice, that successful people, they all tend to know each other?” -Richie Norton, paraphrased from The Power of Starting Something Stupid Course (found at richienorton.com)
I once had a friend ask me “how I stay calm” when meeting high-level people in my industry after I told her about a really fun and unique connection I made with a very high-level person.
I said, in effect, that I’ve realized and learned over the years that people are just people.
We all have hopes, dreams, fears, aspirations, strengths, and weaknesses.
We all have personal relationships and those who know us more from a distance or surface-level.
Though those attributes may be more strongly intensified in those you admire, they are just people too.
Focus on loving, serving, and placing yourself in the empathetic mindset, and you’ll look around and realize that there are many people you can form collaborations and connections with in a genuine and authentic way.
You’ll be attracted to people with similar values but far bigger results.
You’ll learn from them and collaborate with them.
Alignment of values produces miracles.
You can message and connect with people on any social media platform. There are really no barriers to communication in the 21st Century.
How you communicate matters greatly.
Find people who stand for the values you believe in. Ask them questions. Take a sincere interest in their life. Do not focus on what you can “extract” from them.
Be real.
Go connect with your heroes. Have empathy for them.
Watch them become your friends.
