Two to Tango: Confronting Our Shadow Selves in Relationships
Few, if any, of us go into love and relationships as completely open books, and more’s the pity. We are afraid to see (ourselves) and to be seen. We are afraid that if we drew out our shadow selves, our opportunity for love would leave.
Sometimes, we don’t even know our shadow selves are there. We think we are who we say we are until the wrong relationship draws it out of us. If it takes two to tango, our shadow selves seem to attach themselves to the partners we choose and then wait to be seen. And they need to be seen.
It takes two to tango is an interesting phrase. When I was an undergraduate, I took a social dance class. My instructors were both professional dancers who participated in ballroom competitions. Each class would begin with a demo of a dance performance before they taught us the basics. They showed us the full beauty of the dance before we started stepping on each other’s toes and awkwardly counting our steps.
Of all the dances they taught us, the tango was my favorite. It was violent in its passions and beautiful. The give and take, yin and yang, and perfect synchronicity of the movements left me astounded. It was like watching a beautifully choreographed fight or a perfectly orchestrated piece of music.
