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Want To Make A Change? Answer These 4 Questions Immediately
“Change is a process, not the outcome…”
Last week, a friend added me to a self-improvement group on Facebook, where people are actively engaged in positive and healthy discussions about life.
As many of you know, most Facebook groups have a tendency to become either inactive or full of spam. But this group was different. This group was active. And it had no spam. Well, let me rephrase — it supposedly had no spam.
Supposedly? What do you mean?
There were definitely no adverts, Facebook viruses or the common ‘make $300/h from home!’ sort of posts.
Yet, everything looked like a big pile of spam to my eyes so I ended up leaving the group that day.
Here’s an example:
Sure, that’s not really a spam post, right? That was my friend’s argument, too.
But here is what I explained to him when he asked why I left the group.
Those might be amazing quotes (I actually like the one above), but I don’t find any value in motivational quotes.
This is what happens when I stumble upon a motivational quote:
I take five seconds to read it. Then I take another ten seconds or maybe fifteen seconds to digest it.
But then what happens?
I carry on with my life.
The truth is, as meaningful or inspiring as a quote might be — it‘s also meaningless if all you do is just read it.
The one tip that’ll change your life instantly
I’ve recently joined Quora. It’s a website where you can ask questions or answer a question in a field of your expertize.
I spent an hour browsing through different questions to see if there are any I can potentially provide an answer or an insight for. And after several minutes, something became very clear to me.
Many questions were almost identical although they weren’t written by the same person. They just had a common theme.
It went something like this:
Q: How can I change my life in less than 7 days?
Q: What is the one tip that will help me improve my life?
A quick search revealed dozens if not hundreds of similar questions all of which have thousands of different answers, comments, and recommendations.
The answer to ALL those questions should be simple — life is not a motivational quote. There isn’t one ultimate tip that can help you improve your life. There isn’t a secret formula for ‘winning in life’. (although some people, even here on Medium, will tell you otherwise)
Of course, you CAN change your life. It might be in seven days or even a minute. But that’s just the first step because change is a process, not the outcome.
Things that are easy to change are almost always the least important ones. Stepping outside of your comfort zone is difficult, but that’s the only way to improve yourself. It doesn’t have to be a huge leap. Persistent sequence of baby steps would make a great start.
A gym membership isn’t enough.
A few weeks ago I wrote about New Year’s resolutions. It’s quite trendy to say that New Year’s resolutions are a complete waste of time. But thinking and coming up with resolutions isn’t the problem. In fact, that’s actually a great thing, because it requires real reflection and observation which is something we rarely ever do.
The problem is that we think of New Year’s resolutions as a target, instead of looking at it as a plan.
There’s a difference between wanting to be better and actually improving. Real achievements require real effort. And that’s where most people get stuck. They have the desire to become a better version of themselves. They aspire to live a more fulfilled life. But they don’t realize that it takes consistent practice. I hear a lot of people say: “I don’t know how to change my life.” And that’s exactly the key point. They don’t know HOW to.
Perhaps we are wired to look for shortcuts. Ways to get things done quickly without wasting much energy. Maybe that’s why we think that by joining the gym we’ll be able to change our health or the way we look. Or that by downloading a dating app we’ll find a life companion. And that’s probably the reason why we have fallen in love with motivational quotes in the first place. They provide an instant insight without a struggle.
As I said before, reading a motivational quotes does not lead to change unless you are really willing to make an effort.
Ask yourself these four questions
- WHAT?
Get clear on what it is that you actually want to change.
Take the time to reflect. Don’t rush into it.
Prepare a list of all things you want to change in yourself or in your life.
It could be anything from your business, startup or job to relationships, personal traits, and looks. - WHY?
Next, ask yourself this: why is it that I want a change? Take a look at your list. Observe each and every item. Do you have a reason for each change you set out to do? Do YOU really want to change it or are you just trying to please someone else? If you struggle to find a good reason to change something, you should probably remove it from your list. - HOW?
Now that you are left with the list of changes which are actually valuable to you, ask yourself this: how can I make these changes happen? Remember, a change is a process, not just an end goal. Make another list of steps you can take in order to fulfill each and every change. Be creative and do not look for shortcuts. Think of reasonable steps you’re actually going to be able to follow. - WHEN?
When will you start? When will you move to step two? When will you reflect back at your previous steps? You can write yourself some reminders or add specific steps into your calendar. It’s ideal to set deadlines for each step to keep yourself committed and disciplined. Obviously, you can start with small steps.
I would like to make myself clear. The four questions above won’t magically change your life just by reading them.
These questions are merely a set of guidelines. You have to do the work. Reading, watching or listening isn’t enough. You have to take action to achieve your desired changes. You have to commit and the understand that a change is a process. And it needs to be practiced properly, time and time again.
What real changes have you gone through? Inspire us all and share them in the comments below! :)
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