Want To Maximize Your Growth? Here Are 9 Reasons Why Growing Together Is The Answer
Together Is More
“If you have the opportunity to do amazing things in your life, I strongly encourage you to invite someone to join you.” — Simon Sinek
I’ve had a lot of single-person projects during my life. Although there’s nothing wrong with having a personal project or goal — and you should indeed have some — being too independent can sometimes keep you away from tremendous growth.
I came to learn this after being stuck in personal growth a while back. I was being too independent, narrow in my perspective, and stuck in my routines. I was going blind. Blind to the things happening around me, and to the benefits that other people could provide.
Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s extremely important to work on yourself and your personal growth. However, as I got to experience, it’s easy to get caught up in only doing so.
Out of this experience, and after some contemplation, a new philosophy of growth emerged:
Growing together, or in conjunction with others, is far more powerful.
If done right, it will give you:
- Inspiration
- Courage
- Support
- Potential
- Accountability
- Care
- Rapport
- Innovation
- Opportunities
All of this is possible by the power of together.
1+1 = more than 2.
It’s synergy.
If you wish to extract all the benefits (and before we dive into the 9), there are some things worth keeping in mind
Growth happens beyond a common goal
While having a common goal is important, the relationship between the people involved is more important. A common goal can’t even begin to take form if there’s too much imbalance in the relationship.
The relationship should be reciprocal, satisfying on both ends and it should move towards transformation.
A notion worth having in mind is that, not every relationship is going to be a ‘common goal relationship’. In fact, the minority of people in your life is going to have the same goal as you. At least in terms of a business or career goal. However, you can still grow together and reap the benefits. What’s important, then, is that you have a compatible relationship. You have to be able to play together.
This means, your awesome goal, can’t be disrupted by their awesome goal. And vice versa. Even though you’re not working on the exact same thing, you should still be able to have a harmonious, synergetic relationship. You should still be able to be there for each other. You should still be able to grow.
In sum, the benefits applies to all kinds of relationships. From intimate relationships to business relationships.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” — C. G. Jung
Communication is important, and it’s more than just talk
When we want the same things — to grow together — , but have our differences, then learning how to see each other is first priority.
Without checking in on each other — without communication — there can be no harmonious growth. Acknowledging our differences — big or small — is important.
“Communication between a coach and his players was being able to say good things, bad things, and average things, Conversely, it’s being able to listen to good, bad, and average things.” — John Madden
Remember that communication is more than talk. It’s facial expressions, gestures, trust, honesty, and vibe. You have to be there for each other.
Effort is required
If you wish to grow together, you have to do more than just be in the proximity of each other. You have to engage in behaviors that’s putting both of you in a state of harmony and flow.
It isn’t magically going to work itself out. Effort is required on both ends.
A special thing about human relationships is that, the things you put in, are often the things you’re going to get out. So if you want —
- Inspiration
- Courage
- Support
- Potential
- Accountability
- Care
- Rapport
- Innovation
- Opportunities
— you’re going to have to put it in.
Effort is required, but it’s worth it.
The 9 benefits of growing together
1. Inspiration
Two unique human beings — working together — are bound to draw inspiration from each other. You are likely to have different ideas, different point of views, and different talents. Every shade that one cannot see, can be illuminated by the other.
2. Courage
“Courage isn’t inside; it’s external. It comes from someone else telling you they believe in you.” — Simon Sinek
Having someone’s encouragement makes you brave. It makes you want to step out into the world, face your fears, and strive for your goals. When you know that someone believes in you, and you know that you’re safe to do your thing without judgement, you can go. You can go pursue your dreams.
3. Support
“To maintain (a person, family, establishment, institution, etc.) by supplying with things necessary to existence” — dictionary.com
By definition, having support provides you with everything that you could need. It fosters motivation, increases well-being, and minimizes stress. It also allows failure to happen, without it being destructive for long-term growth.
When the parties involved share the ‘what?’, the ‘how?’, and the ‘how much are you willing to sacrifice?’ — of the goals — then support enables you to grow.
4. Potential
“Through others we become ourselves.” — Lev Vygotsky
There’s a difference between your actual level of development, as determined by your own independent behaviors, and your potential level of development, as determined through behaviors in collaboration with others. Psychologist Lev Vygotsky called it the zone of proximal development.
Through the synergy of a growth relationship, the potential of your abilities heightens.
This effect works especially well, if you’re growing with someone that’s slightly more experienced than you. With the proper support and guidance, you’ll have a possibility of reaching their level. When you’re encouraged to operate at their level of ability, you’re likely to end up adapting to it.
If you want more on this topic, I wrote an article explaining it in detail:
5. Accountability
Accountability keeps you on track; it forces you to stay committed to your goals.
Because accountability involves having a responsibility for each other, it keeps you from giving up and succumbing to your own individual excuses. There are real consequences for failure. Painful ones. If you actually care about the people growing together with you, then you’re willing to do everything you can to avoid failure.
6. Care
Without the existence of care, there would be no humans on this earth. Being cared for, fulfils a basic human need; we all need to belong. It’s easy to see it’s importance.
“And where would we mammals be if we did not have brain systems to take CARE of each other? Extinct! The maternal instinct, so rich in every species of mammal, allows us to propagate effectively down generations. To have left this to chance, or the vagaries of individual learning, would have assured the end of our line of ascent.” — Jaak Panksepp, Neuroscientist
Care feels incredibly good. It provides warmth, trust and safety, which in turn allows you to grow together. Actually caring for each other, is perhaps the most important factor in the relationship.
7. Rapport
When rapport is being built, you start to trust each other. You start to believe in each other’s abilities and ideas, you start to understand each other’s feelings, and the communication will flow effortlessly.
Rapport is continuously keeping promises to each other, and building each other up.
8. Innovation
“For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.” — Margaret Heffernan
When synergy takes place, there’s a clash of two worlds. When different perspectives, different ideas, and different minds collide, there is an explosion. And out of the mist rises innovation — with new ideas and solutions.
Brainstorm, share what’s on your minds. Express your views. Explore each others worlds.
9. Opportunities
Each of you, know different people, different environments, and have different experiences. Not surprisingly, this creates more opportunities.
Two means more. More doors to be opened, more things to take advantage of, and more growth in general.
Wrapping up
Growing together is far more powerful than growing alone. There’s synergy, transformation, and higher levels to be reached.
1+1 = more than 2.
In order for collective growth to happen, a quality relationship needs to be in place. It takes communication and effort, and being there for each other. Only then can you reap the benefits.
Only then can you maximize your growth.
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