What the Dead Taught Me about Living
Life lessons about getting along from the cemetery society.
I’ve had many jobs but none inspired me as much as my time working at a cemetery. Believe it or not, the dead have a lot to teach us! The following is what they had to say.
Nobody is recording how impressive we are
Yes, there are plenty of impressive historical figures written in the books but can you name 50,000 impressive people off the top of your head right now? Neither can I. I also can’t tell you one impressive thing about any of the 50,000 residents of the cemetery I worked at. By impressive I mean: I don’t know their annual income, what car they drove, what fancy stuff they had, what company they started, what charity they donated to, etc. I couldn’t know these things because they aren’t written on any certificate, permit, order, or block of stone. The dead don’t take acknowledgment of all their great things to the cemetery with them to be recorded and stored for all time. I do know a little about some of the dead I encountered though. This is what I know and how I found out:
It is the impression we make on other people that survives us
Ok, so it would be interesting to know about the charity work, but it’s not necessary--I learned enough about the good nature of the dead when I met their loved ones.
When strangers are around, not much is said about what the deceased accomplished or owned. What is mentioned a lot though, are feelings.
He loved his grandchildren so much
She always made newcomers to our club feel so welcome
He inspired so many to be confident like him
She could lighten our moods just with her smile
These heart-jerking words are the types of statements people make about those who have passed on. There are, of course, negative alternatives not worth focusing on.
People remember and pass on the emotion we evoke. This can be applied to the living or the dead. Whether it’s the imprint we leave after exiting Earth or a room, people are going to remember how we made them feel. This idea taught me to ask myself what kind of impression I’m leaving on the people I know. An inventory of my actions daily can give me my answer. Exploration of my inventory can show me how I can walk in a path to leave a positive impression on the world. It is imperative for me to self-cleanse, then give back while I am here on this Earth with time to spare. Sharing how I overcame my obstacles and traumas, helping those in need, and passing along the useful knowledge I’ve learned are what may leave an impression. The material things I owned or the scholarly accomplishments I achieved will be sealed with a casket lock. When we conquer our shortcomings and utilize our assets to benefit others, we make the world a beautiful place.
Even if I try my hardest to be the best person I can, there will always be human imperfections that others are bound to percieve.
We don’t get to decide what others say about us
I learned this watching loved ones of the dearly departed draft headstones. I stared at grave marker designs, colors, and sayings enough to form an opinion on what I would like mine to look like. Fact of the matter is, it isn’t my choice. I don’t get to decide another person’s opinion of what represents me.
There is a lot of acceptance for the living to be drawn from that statement. We can try to control what people think and we can attempt to mold ourselves but it is useless to exert so much effort and energy for control. On the day after our last it is another person’s idea of our representation that defines our material existence.
We circle back to the lesson that our good nature can live on in the feelings of others. Doing the next right thing regardless of the opinions of people is a more viable, peaceful, and productive option. Don’t impress opinions, impress love. Why not strive to live in harmony with the world? After all…
We don’t get to pick our neighbors
Ever. So why are we all fighting like there is a choice?
In the end, our companion at the final resting place is at the will of life on life’s terms. Yes, you can prepay for plots but you don’t know who bought the spot next door. Not that it matters much for the dead; the message is for the living.
We’re stuck here
That is harsh but there is hope. I don’t feel stuck when I embrace what the dead taught me.
We are here on this planet with others for an undetermined amount of time. It is much more harmonious to coexist in a resting peace with our fellows; loved ones and strangers. May as well practice now, you have to do it eventually. Stop gaining on, fighting, hating, worrying about, and conquering each other! Love, respect, acceptance, unity and helpfulness get us much further in the end; literally.
