What the Hell Is Holding You Back?

Goddamnit, I feel alive.

“person carrying yellow and black backpack walking between green plants” by Holly Mandarich on Unsplash

I haven’t felt this good in months. It’s like my blood has been drained and replaced with a cocktail of passion, drive, and optimism.

I feel it in every cell of my being.

Yesterday, I had the second public speech I’ve ever done. It was based on my most recent video, All Good Things Take Time, and it talks about how patience is such a essential part of life.

We, as human beings, need to remember to enjoy the journey of life, rather than always wishing ourselves from Point A to Point B. If you’re someone who wishes away the hours of your day, perhaps while you’re at work, or wishing to arrive at your goal or dream, that is a video for you.

Anyway, rewinding back to the night of my speech, I had loosely prepped my seven-minute speech in note form, which was completely rushed due to complications with work.

Nevertheless, I was speaking to people I knew quite well, so I felt comfortable enough to wing it.

However, upon turning up to the meeting, the ground gave way beneath my feet as there were guests.

Our public speaking class usually consists of around seven people, 12 people maximum on a busy night, but this time there was well over 15.

My stomach, still full from dinner, felt empty and echoey.

My palms started to sweat.

It felt like peripheral vision was narrowing.

Damn, these lights are bright. Why is so hot in here? I must have taken my hoodie on and off about four or five times.

Why was I so nervous? This is exactly the same as talking to two people or 100 people; it didn’t matter; I told myself.

Deep breaths.

Why did it matter? If anything, this is a good thing because I can see if my message relates to new people that I don’t know. This is a new experience.

I tried to turn my nervous feelings into an excited body response. After all, aren’t they basically the same thing?

Mild sweating, butterflies, tense muscles.

I spoke second and was completely consumed by anxious thoughts during the first speech. I can’t even tell you what it was about.

Next up, we have Mike. With a speech titled ‘All Good Things Take Time,’ Mike’s going to take us on an ascent up a mountain that many of us come across in our daily lives; a journey where we have the decision to push ourselves in a direction we want, enabling us to find full fulfillment.

Please welcome to the stage, Mike.

Stomach drops. Deep breath.

I walked up the stage and thanked the presenter.

Out of nowhere, every single bit of fear from my being vanished.

When I give speeches, I’m speaking from my heart. I speak about things I care about. I’m speaking from personal experiences. This is stuff I know.

These are the messages that drive me forward every single day.

This is my life.

I nailed the speech and received some great feedback, both congratulating me and telling me how I can improve next time. Perfect. It turned out pretty much how I wanted it to, especially for a speech that was winged.

Now reflecting back to it; why was I so nervous?

Why did I consider running out of the room and hiding in the bathroom until it was too late for me to have my go? Why did I want to run to the nearest shop and buy a pack of cigarettes?

I’ll tell you;

Because I was holding myself back.

You know this is true for yourself, and for many of us in life, simply due to the fact you’re even reading this.

This could be consciously or subconsciously. You might do it without even realizing. You might do it but be too scared to admit it to yourself.

This fear. These ‘What If’ questions that plague your mind.

Think about the thing that you want more than anything in your life.

This could be a dream you’ve had, a career you’ve wanted to make, a hobby you’ve wanted to start.

It could even be something much smaller, like the ability to talk to strangers, more confidence in your appearance, or the idea of changing your lifestyle.

It could be anything.

Now think about the reasons as to why you’re not doing it right now in your life.

Are you scared?
Are you fearful of what other people think?
Are you afraid of failing?
Are you too lazy?
Do you think it’s not for you, it’s a nice idea, but it’s not something you can see yourself doing?

Whatever your reason, or reasons, in the nicest way possible, it’s all in your head.

This is your ego speaking.

This is you defining yourself as a person who doesn’t do whatever that special something is, and then saying “well, this is who I am” and then not doing anything about it.

Change your mindset. Change your life.

Do you genuinely care about what other people think?

I started my YouTube channel and promoted on here and Twitter because I don’t have many friends on these platforms. On Instagram and LinkedIn, I was afraid to post because these are people I see in the physical world.

What were they going to think? Were they going to laugh at me?

From my own personal experience, I took the plunge, and probably 95% of them didn’t really care, or watched a video and didn’t say anything. The other 5% actively supported me and reached out.

I can’t put it more simply than this.

This is your life.

If you live to be 81, you have 30,000 days in your life.

Each day is an opportunity for you to move forward in your life and to do the things you want to do.

To create the life you want to live now and in the future.

The future is just a time of consequence for the choices you make today, so what ones are you making?

Are you holding yourself back now? If so, you’re going to be held back tomorrow.

Are you making the decisions now to give yourself a better, more fulfilling life? If so, you’re going to be living a better and more fulfilling life now and in the future.

Of course, life doesn’t happen without problems and setbacks, but these are minor technicalities in the grand scale of things. You have control over your mind and your potential.

Realize your potential.

Realize the unconditional raw power that you, your mindset and your ability to make decisions has.

Your potential is limitless. It’s uncontainable once released.

I mean, think about the people you follow and feel influenced in your life. Think about like Gary Vee, Tony Robbins, or whoever you have as a positive influence in your life. Do they contain their power and inner messages?

You can do amazing things in your life. Yeah, you might start your new idea for a project and you might give up because you don’t think it’s for you, or you don’t particularly enjoy it, but at least you can say you tried.

At least you learned what you needed to learn before you can pick yourself up and move onto the next thing, only to repeat this process until you get it right; not for anybody else.

Do it for you.

Good luck.


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