GOOD QUESTIONS
What You Need To Know About Letting Someone Go
Best practices for the worst conversations.
Most managers are not pros at firing people. Which makes sense; if you’re strategic about hiring you hopefully aren’t in the situation too often. But every leader, at some point, makes the hard decision to let someone go, and when the time comes they’re often unprepared. It can be tempting to just accept that the conversation might go sideways and think it’s not a big deal because the person won’t be around to complain. But how you handle someone leaving your company sends lasting signals to remaining employees about your leadership skills and integrity, and can have a real impact on retention, morale, and company culture.
For leaders who know all this, the most common call I get is:
“I’m letting someone go next week and I feel good about what I’m going to say but I’m worried I haven’t thought of everything and that I’ll mess it up. Are there any best practices for doing this?”
Good question. Yes there are.
Make sure it’s not a snap decision
Whenever you decide to let someone go based on performance it’s essential that you make sure the employee was well aware of any issues and received feedback and a chance to improve. If you have an in-house HR person, loop them in immediately so they can be part of your decision process and action plan. While many states are “at will” and you can let someone go at any time, it’s unlikely the conversation will go smoothly if the termination is a total surprise (not to mention it’ll have a cultural and morale impact among remaining employees). You want to make sure you have firm documentation that feedback was provided (ex: a manager sending an email following up on a 1–1 noting what was discussed and next steps). Assuming all of the above is in place, turn your focus to the experience of the person being let go.
Avoid she said/she said
If possible, have two company reps (manager and HR is usually best) present during the actual termination conversation. This helps avoid any “she said/she said” problems. If that feels awkward you can speak to the person and then have HR come in separately to handle paperwork and any questions. Doing this is also useful if you think the person might want to vent about you, as HR can also listen to the person’s feedback.
Practice
Even if you have the perfect script in your head you should practice saying it out loud a few times, either in the mirror or to HR or a trusted colleague. Many leaders know what they want to say but when the moment comes they fumble their words or start to ramble. Doing a few practice rounds helps make sure you’re being clear and concise.
Keep it short
It’s best to keep the termination conversation as short as possible. This isn’t to be cruel or cold but rather to limit any back and forth and the possibility that you’ll misspeak. At this point the decision is made and you’re just there to share that news. Don’t be robotic, but do what you can to stick to the facts and make it clear that it’s not a two-way discussion. This is only for breaking the actual news and explaining why you made this decision — HR can spend more time serving as a sounding board for anything the person wants to say.
Be clear
Probably the top question I get asked is, “How should I start the conversation?” It’s best to be straightforward and explicit that the person is being let go. Think: “I wanted to meet because unfortunately today is going to be your last day with the org.” This is an awkward and difficult conversation and it’s common to be too wordy or to meander, which confuses the employee and leads them to think they are perhaps just getting some stern feedback or that they have a choice about whether or not to leave. It’s also common for the employee to stop listening or space out once they know it’s bad news so you want to make sure the core message is delivered at the start of the conversation.
Give the person space
No matter how hard this is for you, it’s a lot worse for the employee. Give them the time and space (within reason) to be upset or think things through. Don’t rush them and do your best to be sympathetic and empathetic, no matter what they did to get to this place. Make sure you’re having the conversation in a private room where they won’t worry about being seen, and reserve the room for an hour, even if it’s likely that the conversation will only be 10 minutes. You do not want to fire someone and then have to rush them out of a room so others can have a meeting.
Have the person leave directly after the conversation
This is the advice I get the most pushback on from leaders, as so much depends on the situation. With this advice I’m being cautious and if this doesn’t feel like the right decision you can of course have them finish out the day or the week. That said, anything longer than a few days is likely unrealistic — how effective is the person actually going to be now that they have been fired? What conversations are they going to be having with other employees during that time? Separately, you shouldn’t assume someone will want to stick around for even a few minutes, let alone a few weeks. Many people want to leave immediately and not speak with anyone. If the person is leaving immediately, make it is as easy as possible for them. Offer to pack up their desk after hours and ship everything to them the next day, or offer them the chance to come back after hours and pack up without everyone watching.
Let the rest of the team know quickly
Often leaders want a day or two to get their message together for the team. That’s time you should put in before you let someone go. People will notice immediately, whether it’s because the person isn’t on Slack all of a sudden, had set up a meeting that is now canceled, or simply didn’t mention they would be out and now their team is wondering where they are. There’s also always a chance the employee will email their team or the entire company — this is common, whether the person is upset or just wants to stay in touch. It can also be useful to coordinate with the employee around communication. If they’re leaving immediately let them know you’re going to alert the team and ask if you can share their contact info with anyone who wants to stay in touch. If they’re not leaving immediately, plan to craft the message together — this ensures you’re saying the same thing and can help enable a smooth transition out.
Tell people what they need to know (and not more)
There’s no rule for what to share with employees when someone leaves but in general I advise sticking to the high-level facts (“Yesterday was Paul’s last day”) and not getting into the details. If there’s a clear, objective business reason — a position elimination, for example — it’s fine to share that detail, but avoid getting into anything that could damage the exiting employee’s reputation or put the company at risk. This may frustrate some people but most employees ultimately understand a decision to err on the side of privacy. That said, you don’t want people to think you make arbitrary decisions and question if the person got a fair shake or worry they’ll be next for an unpleasant surprise. Be honest about what your standards and values are and how you make these types of decisions. And no matter what you say, make sure that you are giving out clear, consistent information. Which leads me to…
Be consistent
Simply put: Don’t treat people differently because of your relationship to them. People will absolutely notice if you write a long email about one exiting employee and just post a Slack update about another. It always causes a stir when someone leaves and you don’t want to add to that by seeming biased in how you talk about it.
