When It’s Time To Rethink Your Personal Values
You know there is more for you out there, and you believe you deserve better. Something is missing, and you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’re restless and your attention moves from one thing to another, but your mind is always somewhere else. You feel out of control and the tension is rising. Suppressed memories are popping up out of nowhere and a simple gesture by someone triggers you into an emotional outburst.
If some of these messages resonate with you, then maybe it’s time to rethink your personal values. Stop with whatever you’re doing, take a deep breath and start searching within yourself. Consider what’s important to you and where you see yourself going. When you commit to living your values, decision-making becomes clearer because values give us clarity when we have to make tough decisions in life.
“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” — Roy E. Disney
Exploring Your Values
Values act like a compass that helps you to stay on track and focused on “what you do” and “how you’re going to do it”, then life will feel better, you will feel better, and you will see the world from a brighter perspective.
However, when “what you do” and “how you’re going to do it” are not aligned with your highest prioritised values, then everything you’re going to experience in life will begin to feel rather uncomfortable and painful. You will feel unfulfilled, disappointed and maybe just miserable, and you probably don’t even realise why you’re feeling this way.
The whole idea of exploring your personal values is to help you improve the results you get from the most important areas of your life. Therefore, it’s critical that you explore your personal values more in-depth to determine what it is you value most. In the long-term, this will help you find the right balance to live your life based on your highest priorities.
When you have come to understand your values, you can use them to make better decisions about your life and circumstances. For example, this is beneficial because it can help you decide with more clarity on what kind of career you should pursue, what kind of relationship you should look for, the best way to solve your family issues, whether you should travel, start a business, pursue your goals, and many other challenges you will come to face.
Distinction Between Good And Bad Values
From the book “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck” by Mark Manson, he defined good values as reality-based, socially constructive, immediate and controllable. Whereas bad values are defined as superstitious, socially destructive, not immediate or controllable.
What makes good and healthy values stand out is that they’re achieved internally, such as curiosity and humility, which you can experience right now by shifting your mind in a certain way. Not only are these values immediate and controllable, it also engages you with the world as it is rather than how you wish it were.
On the other hand, bad and unhealthy values are reliant on external events, such as material success or always being right, which lie outside of your control and often require socially destructive or superstitious means to achieve them.
Values are about prioritisation. Ask yourself: What are the values that you consider most important, and therefore influences your decision-making more than anything else?
Let me share with you my top five personal values to get you started.
I live my life authentically with honesty at the top of my priority, because through honesty I keep my heart clean and my mind free of doubt or uncertainty. When I’m honest, I know I’m doing the right things.
“Honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.” — James Altucher
I live my life caring for others, as well as self-care, and this allows me to extend a helping hand and to pass along some amazing manners. When I take the time to demonstrate I care, I demonstrate the fact there are still plenty of good people left in this world.
“Caring about people, about things, about life, is an act of maturity.” — Tracy McMillan
The presence of love in my life, the love I have for my family, friends, and myself, is the single most important source of light and energy I can tap into when I feel down, or when I see the need to lift someone else up.
“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” — Arthur Rubinstein
Commitment shows my loyalty and it can show my bravery and tenacity as well. A commitment is a promise I make and an expectation I have created. Honouring my commitment can make the difference between achieving what’s most important to me or feeling disappointed and defeated.
“Unless a commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” — Peter F. Drucker
The purpose of forgiveness is not to forgive someone of the wrong committed against me, but to free myself from the pain and the anger that is keeping me stuck. When I forgive, I’m better able to let go of the past and keep moving forward with my life.
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” — Paul Lewis Boese
Originally published at ye-chen.com on March 12, 2018.