Why You Don’t Have to be Confident to be a Successful Writer
How to be productive as a writer despite self-doubts
“I have never had much confidence in my own work, and even now when I am assured (still much to my grateful surprise) that it has value for other people, I feel diffident, reluctant as it were to expose my world of imagination to possibly contemptuous eyes and ears.” (J.R.R. Tolkien (2014). “The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien”, p.366, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, sourced from AZ Quotes)
The email was almost ready to send, but a lingering doubt remained that my publisher would respond with “Try again”!
I had laboured over the draft email to Random House, spending hours preparing the wording, checking it, reviewing, revising, adding, deleting.
Carefully, I attached the manuscript for the book I had taken almost a year to write: All 119,000 words — as demanded by the contract I had with my publisher.
I was nervous, not sure if I had prepared a masterpiece or a masterfail.
At some point, despite the doubts and pangs of pessimism, I hit “send”.
That was Friday afternoon.
Saturday came and went.
Sunday.
Monday.
Tuesday: My phone lit up as I heard the ring. It was my publisher, calling to give me “feedback” on the book.
I was terrified but tried not to show it.
“G’day,” I said, imagining her sitting in an office overlooking Sydney Harbour. I was nervous about what she would say, no doubt holding her phone with stained fingers, reddened by excessive strikethroughs across my manuscript.
In short — she “loved it” and went on with some impressions that mattered far less than the “loved it” I’d heard early on.
— Words that meant I wasn’t such a hopeless writer despite my self-doubts. Maybe I’d done something okay, hadn’t stuffed up and botched this book after all!
It’s okay to hit “send” or “publish” while still doubting your work
If I had waited for “confidence” before publishing any of the words I have crafted over my career, I would not be a writer.
In most cases, the best level of positive aspiration I have with prose and poetry is “hopeful optimism”— something a couple of rungs short of “confidence” and certainly way below “excitement” on the ladder of available emotions for authors and writers.
Many writers may find that strange, and possibly sacrilegious. It is, however, the truth that I have become comfortable with.
In fact, I am in good company.
“If you lack confidence in setting one word after another and sense that you are stuck in a place from which you will never be set free, if you feel sure that you will never make it and were not cut out to do this, if your prose seems stillborn and you completely lack confidence, you must be a writer.” (John McPhee, from GoodReads)
It doesn’t mean that I am a failure, in fact the opposite because being honest with my abilities keeps me on a path to improvement with everything I write and publish.
1 It’s okay to publish a story while unsure how it will be received
I would like to feel unshaken about the words I write. Often, I get close to it, feeling like the phrases or choices I’ve made work well.
At other times, I come to a balanced position where there is a likelihood somebody will appreciate my words.
Then there are moments when I think, “This thing is going to be rejected, and I will understand why. I’m sure they’ve got plenty of other better pieces in their publication queue.”
Whatever your emotions tell you, it’s important to reach a point where the editing ceases, the overthinking pauses, and you hit the button for “publish”.
Why? Because we are never going to be perfect! Publish it and see what readers say. Learn from the mistakes, and grow.
If you don’t publish in the search for “perfection”, something at least “good” will go unread.
“I am assailed by my own ignorance and inability. … Sometimes, I seem to do a little good piece of work, but when it is done it slides into mediocrity.” (John Steinbeck, quoted while working on “The Grapes of Wrath”, which ultimately won a Pulitzer Prize in 1962, from Entrepreneur.com)
2 Lacking confidence shouldn’t delay the deadline
I have a habit of expecting “little” so I am pleasantly surprised by “much”.
That’s not to say I lack “faith” or “hope”, but I rarely have an ample supply of “certainty” in my abilities. Getting good feedback comes then as something of a surprise that spurs me on.
In the event that my work wins few readers, fans and reactions, I can move more easily on to the next project.
It’s a skill I learnt early in my working life as a journalist on a country newspaper in north-west New South Wales — Narrabri.
While still a young graduate cadet, I quickly realised I had to stop proofing my work or I’d soon lose the respect of the busy printing team who had less time for perfectionists than they did for meeting deadlines. At some point, I needed to hand over the layout and go downstairs to wait for the presses to roll.
Some articles were received positively — especially those that reported on our town’s football victories! Others didn’t go down so well, but the frequency of the latter diminished as I practised my craft.
“I greatly apprehend that my countrymen will expect too much from me. I fear, if the issue of public measures should not correspond with their sanguine expectations, they will turn the extravagant praises which they are heaping upon me at this moment into equally extravagant censures.” (George Washington, writing to Supreme Court Chief Justice John Rutledge before his inauguration, from Entrepeneur.com)
3 Being uncertain of feedback keeps you humble
I’m older now, hopefully wiser, and have way too many words published than I could count. But I am still learning, growing, aiming high.
Every time I publish something, I hope it will be received well. I do my best to refine, draft, amend and nurture my words so they work as well as possible.
I never, though, think they are perfect. And although that may seem defeatist, it’s actually a mix of reality and self awareness that leads to improvement.
What’s happening is I am getting better all the time at writing — prose, digital copy, poetry, fiction, non-fiction, headlines, scripts, captions, texts and emails.
I may lack confidence, but I’ve got plenty of hopeful optimism… and a healthy dose of faith.
