Work Fulfillment Is A Real Thing, And So Is Work Unfulfillment
I can’t tell you what it means to be fulfilled at work, but I can tell you what it means to be unfulfilled.
Before I started working full time, I always envisioned myself as the ultimate career woman, not so much as in fighting for what she was passionate in, but rather working tirelessly to fulfill every single demand from her boss. I was willing to put my career ahead of everything else in life and make sacrifices to climb up the corporate ladder. As you can tell, the urge to please was very apparent, and sadly also very external.
Fresh out of university looking for my first job and I was pumped. I turned up to interviews all eager and bright-eyed and demonstrated to every interviewer I wanted to live and breathe work. I wanted to make sure I was the star employee for the boss, but I never once reflected that question internally — how will this job make me the star individual? I wasn’t asking the right questions. Not asking the interviewers the right questions, and more importantly, not asking myself the right questions.
As a fresh graduate the panic and pressure to find a job were immense — everyone around me was constantly asking “Have you found a job yet?”. It seemed almost shameful to not be employed right away. Looking back it was easy to see past the veil of irrational bordering nonsensical peer pressure that held no merit. So many of us had no idea what we wanted to do with our lives, and yet we were blindly scrambling into pursuing careers that may end up potentially as an ill fit. It was like rushing madly to catch the last train leaving the platform, only to discover later on in the journey, that there were 10 other trains you had completely missed because you were too busy following where the crowd went.
First Ask Yourself, What Does Work Mean To You?
For me, the main problem was my career wasn’t giving me a sense of fulfillment and identity.
For the longest time, I didn’t see life as anything more than working and taking vacations every now and then to re-charge. A job to me was a salary paying duty and it was the adult thing to do, to work and pay your bills and climb up the corporate ladder… ya-dee-dah. This was the societal standard accepted and normalized and nobody every questions it.
But work is more than a monthly paycheck and an occasional trip to Bali.
We spend at least 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, 52 whopping weeks a year (you get the idea…) at work. It’s hard to imagine all these time culminating into something you didn’t remotely care about. Most of us spend more time with the people we call our colleagues than we do with our family and friends, and we constantly worry and talk about our work. It occupies so much more of our lives than we care to admit, and yet many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about it.
Most of my friends, having worked a few years, still don’t have a clear idea as to what is their passion, or what work means to them. The system has instilled in all of us this belief that working hard is meaningful in itself, and media constantly glorifies the hustle life. Yet the discussions surrounding it always bordered the superficial: whether the job had good monetary rewards, good progression opportunities, and social prestige (Brand name companies, MNCs etc…).
Yes, those are important questions, but they will not answer what work means to you. This is something more that aligns closely with our personal values and belief system, and what we think is our purpose in life. There is so much more work can offer other than money, and it is important to realize this early on in our careers.
Work holds a different meaning to each person. To many around me, work is merely a means to an end — it simply gives them the financial ability to pursue their hobbies and passions outside of work. To some, career is part of their identity — they see scaling the corporate ladder as a personal challenge and they define themselves by their career achievements. To others, work needs to be meaningful and aligned with their purpose in life, and I happen to belong to this group.
I was beginning to realize I was craving a sense of accomplishment in life which all the late nights and hard work in the office was not giving me. I was spending a lot of hours on something that I found gravely unfruitful, and that was a huge issue.
Being Unfulfilled At Work
I can’t tell you what it means to have a job where you find fulfillment and meaning in, but I can tell you what it means to be unfulfilled at work.
You live for the weekends, and dread each working weekday — think Mondays like Garfield but darker, and sadder. Each day starts to blur into another, months roll by, and this thought constantly nags you at the back of your head — What am I doing with my life? You start losing your passion and drive, and it affects your mood, your general deposition and even your relationships.
Disillusioned with the realities of my work and mentally exhausted , I was struggling to answer what defined me as a person. For the longest time I allowed myself to be defined by what society dictated — growing up I was defined by my grades and my school, and naturally, after stepping into work life I was beginning to define myself by my career.
But my career was not aligned with the identity I had of myself, and the longer the hours I put in at work, the further I was finding myself drifting away from the person I wanted to be, becoming someone else whose values and lifestyles I no longer agree.
You can be fulfilled at work and still earn a living
I find one of the biggest misconception to be that work fulfillment is a fluffy, first world problem that doesn’t exist and doesn’t need to be discussed.
I acknowledge that I am privileged to be born in a developed country where the more pressing concerns like my safety and physiological needs are already met. With this disclaimer out there, I cannot stress the importance of work fulfillment. You don’t have to spring out of bed every morning eager to rush to work all radiant and bright smiles, but if you find yourself dreading work, dragging your footsteps, or feeling miserable, I think there’s when some action needs to be taken.
One pragmatic way to figure out how to integrate fulfillment into work is to start off understanding what are your skill sets and interests, and what roles are out there for you.
That nice blue in the middle represents paradise — where you are able to find job opportunities that not only matches your skill sets but aligns with your purpose in life. I find most people to be in the green area where skill sets and job availability aligns. For others, they fall under the less appealing brown section, where to be it out of necessity or simply choice, they end up in a job that neither emphasizes their strengths nor aligns with their purpose. To them, every day becomes a hazy cycle where work is just a means to an end, to earn a living.
It took me a while to see that I belonged to the brown section, that my job was draining me mentally and spiritually. I had so many excuses ready at the palm of my hand to convince myself that work wasn’t that bad — the job market was glum, this was a decent job that offered me market rate salary and medical benefits, and honestly do I really think I can find another job easily?
There are definitely some validity to these excuses, as there always will be for excuses. But the dissatisfaction was already breeding like a bacteria, festering from within, becoming hard to ignore. I chose to walk away because work fulfilment was a priority factor in my life, and I didn’t want to be someone who was leading life missing out on my priorities.
At The End of The Day It All Boils Down To You
Quite frankly everything I have just said can be made futile if you don’t believe or agree with it. Trying to seek out work fulfillment is not as simple as looking over your shoulder to see what your friends or colleagues are doing. It is more of looking within yourself to ask yourself what matters most to you in life, and understanding the relationship of your work and life.
At the end of the day, life as we age is a journey, a journey where for the most part is closely intertwined with work. Isn’t it better if you can enjoy the ride, instead of just spending the whole time preparing for the end?
