You Can’t Be Honest but Hate Being Vulnerable
“What happens when people open their hearts?”
“They get better.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
I should’ve seen it sooner. And the worst part is that I said it out loud, had it echo in my mind for years and only recently did I understand the weight of my words.
Years ago, after a debate with an ex-girlfriend about whether I cared about the relationship or not, I said her, “I hate being vulnerable.”
I probably threw in a sigh for good measure.
After that relationship ended those words would ring out from time to time in my mind. But what led me to finally face the echo was when I was re-examining my past relationships to see if there was some trend that I had missed.
I got to a point where I was left stunned at how much stuff I didn’t see and how much they hid of themselves. And then it hit me.
If these people were a reflection of you, were you hiding things from them? Were you truly being vulnerable?
I laughed. Of course I wasn’t.
For me, vulnerability was letting someone know how I felt about them. Vulnerability was about sharing my goals and dreams. However, vulnerability was not sharing how I felt about them when things were going…
