“You don’t wanna hear this from me.”
That, my friends, was a running narrative in my mind for years.
I really believed no one would want to hear much of anything I had to say. My views, my feelings, my thoughts were not important or could be of no value to anyone.
I cringe when I think of all the ways that could’ve been holding me back.
I’ve never been one to follow the crowd, be part of the mainstream, and when I tried to fit myself into that box, I only suffered for it.
It can feel kind of embarrassing to write, for all to read, about my “shortcomings” but the fact is, most of us have them.
They are the beliefs that limit us.
And they are self-imposed.
“There is only one grand lie: that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.” — Dr. Wayne Dyer
Many of our limiting beliefs are formed when we’re very young. Things we were told by adults or other children stay with us. As a young person, it seems natural to blame ourselves if a situation doesn’t feel right.
“If a child’s need for attention and connection consistently goes unmet, that child may start to believe that it’s because of them”, Lea Seigen Shinraku, MFT.
Experiences we have along the way, if we’re not mindful, can lead us to conclusions we form by not fully understanding the situation.
So what’s the big deal? It’s been happening this way for people since forever.
We could go about our lives holding on to every limiting thought and belief as always. It’s always been this way.
And we can continue to suffer.
Or what if I told you there was a better way to move forward and beyond our limits — to become greater humans?
So much research has been going into what role the heart plays in our lives apart from the obvious — pumping blood throughout our bodies. Turns out it has a much higher function than even the brain. http://noeticsi.com/thinking-from-the-heart-heart-brain-science/
“The heart sends more information to the brain through the nervous system than the other way around.” Rolin McCraty, HeartMath Institute
Our thoughts send out signals, like radio frequencies. They broadcast beyond our heads and can be observed using Magnetoencephalography: measuring brain activity with magnetism.
The heart however, produces by far, the largest magnetic field in the body, according to the HeartMath Insitute. They have been studying the connection between the heart and brain for more than 18 years. It’s the heart’s magnetic pull that brings the feeling of our broadcast into our experience — whether we’re broadcasting something we want or not.
Therefore, the more emotion you have tied to your beliefs the more anchored they are in your subconscious and to your identity.
Couldn’t we just use this new information and get on with it then?
It seems there are some things getting in our way. We receive surprising gains from holding our true selves back.
In my example, things I was gaining were:
- an excuse to avoid putting myself out there and be open to criticism
- remaining comfortable in my zone, my box
- no real requirement to figure out what I valued in order to speak up about it
- it didn’t require getting too deep within
With these ‘gains’ though, I didn’t feel any better about myself. I kept having the same unhappy experiences. In fact the unhappiness kept getting worse.
Maybe you can relate.
I think we fear moving beyond our limits because we’re afraid what we’ll find out about ourselves. It’s as if we’re afraid there may be a monster inside us. It doesn’t feel safe to let go of long held beliefs, so we “protect” ourselves by avoiding them and the emotions that come with them. We keep stuffing it all down hoping it’ll never surface — but it always does.
Of course, we find out our fears are unfounded. Rather than a monster, when we finally let go of false beliefs and let the emotions move through us, we find an unending well of Love.
Can it feel difficult and uncomfortable at first? Will we be required to become brutally honest about our “shortcomings”? Yes, although coming out on the other side is wonderfully liberating. Those “shortcomings” are what enabled us to get to where we are and look within to find the answers that can take us leaps and bounds forward.
So they’re not shortcomings at all — it’s a false belief!
There are estimates that 95% of our lives are being run by subconscious programming.
Do you think I realized I had this belief about people not caring to hear what I had to say? Nope. Not until I decided I didn’t want to suffer anymore in the same old box. The most couragous thing I’ve done is to become more mindful and ask the difficult questions.
Is there really any greater thing to invest in right now than to figure out how to become greater humans so we can overcome the problems we face and create a greater world?