You’ll Have To Take A Stand
When the time comes, you’ll need less explaining and more act(ion)s.
It’s almost inevitable. If you have an idea of what you want to do with your one life, you’ll come across people who will be ecstatic to proffer advice :
Do it on the side until you have enough runway.
That won’t work here.
That won’t work now.
You’re not ready. Do this instead.
Don’t date that guy.
She’s not good enough for you.
There’s no shortage of success articles, or diet tips, or relationship advice.
By virtue of existence, everyone has something to say if you give them enough time to do it.
But there will be moments when you’ll have to go against all advice. Moments when you’ll realize that all the people telling you what to do with your life are either:
a) Not living what they preach or
b) Not living what you want.
We tend to be quick to point out the errors in everyone’s argument( or maybe it’s just me…). It takes a whole lot of humility, usually earned over years of introspection and learning, to realize that we don’t really know that much.
We know zilch about the future: no human can predict the future with 100% accuracy.
We. Just. Can’t.
When push comes to shove, you’ll have to take a stand. You’ll have to say: Thank you, I love you, but I’ll do it my way.
You need to figure out many things by yourself. Some dreams may just be remnants of other people’s advice, and until you try to accomplish them, you may never realize that you didn’t want to at all.
Maybe you don’t really want to start a company, but because everyone keeps saying you should, then you think you must.
Until you try, you may never know. And it’s not everything that you need to try: we don’t have that much time.
Yes, you get to learn, reinvent yourself and carry all the skills you gain to wherever you are.
But how long do you have to keep trying what everyone thinks you should instead of doing what you know you have to do?
How long will you let advice from well-meaning family members (and strangers on the internet, like me) push you away from that little whisper in your heart?
Our dreams need work; they need us to become the kind of people who deserve them. If they were easy, they won’t be dreams — they’d be holidays. I know this because I’m fighting the world around me to keep doing what my heart tells me to.
People who work hard on what they care about do so because they have their eyes on the prize — the conviction that this is something that they want — and they’re more likely to get back up when they fall.
Because they fall too.
We all do. We all lose clients. We all get fired. We all have dark days. We all go through periods when things don’t go as planned and we have to push through.
It’s when your decisions come from self-belief, with a history of doing things you love, that it becomes easier to get over those hurdles.
It’s that first rejection that sends the writer crying — and back to the keyboard. It’s that third business venture; that 100th date; that second marriage.
It’s taking chances, doing the hard things, staring the starting line again and saying to yourself:
“This is something I have to do because I choose to do and because I believe I can”.
And in most cases, you can: your results are just unevenly distributed in time. Keep going. Take advice. Weigh with your own self: you know what you want. Even if you don’t, you know where to start.
Knowing this doesn’t mean it would be easier. Or that you won’t fall. It means when you do fall, you’ll know it’s not the end, you haven’t dropped the ball.
“Thanks for the advice. I know you care about me and I appreciate it”.
When they leave, knowing you truly meant it, you say to yourself :
“I’ll do it my way”.