Your phone is ruining your life! Here’s why and how to fix it.

When mobile phones first came out, their sole purpose was to allow us to keep in touch and stay connected whilst on the go. However, the tremendous evolution of technology resulted in mobile phones gradually turning into the high tech smartphones that we all use today. Nowadays, they do so much more than simply keep us connected.

Every so often, you may notice that human beings have forgotten how to disconnect from the world and to connect to their inner being. Being present and mindful in the information age and digital era is a luxury. A Luxury most cannot afford due to not having enough time in our fast-paced world. Nevertheless, they will happily spend the majority of their time swiping and flicking through their countless apps that simulate reality.

We live in an era where technology is advancing at an unprecedented rate. The future we used to see in the movies has already arrived. Yet, our humanity has become more technological efficient than wise. Unfortunately, we human beings do not possess the wisdom to make conscious judgements on how to use our phones in a healthy manner. Many of us cannot afford the luxury of being mindful and present in today’s world because we struggle to detach ourselves from our phones.

Have you heard of the term NOMOPHOBIA? (NO MObile PHone PhoBIA) Nomophobia refers to the anxiety, discomfort, and stress caused to a person when they do not have their smartphone readily available to them (King, 2013). It is used to describe a psychological condition when people have a fear of being detached from mobile phone connectivity. The term NOMOPHOBIA is constructed on definitions described in the DSM-IV, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders. Usually, characteristics such as low self-esteem, inappropriate social behaviors, fear of relating, social anxiety, lack of self-confidence, shyness, low proactivity, social isolation, low coping capacity and low sense of self-efficacy seem to be linked to this dependence, which can lead to several impairments in the quality of life due to inappropriate and exaggerated smartphone use (Sales, Silva, & Lima, 2018). The burden of this problem is now increasing globally.

Have you ever felt a vibration or heard a ring when your phone is in your pocket, but when you reached for your phone, you realized that no one actually tried to get in touch with you? There is an actual syndrome that affects human beings nowadays called the phantom vibration syndrome (Mangot et al., 2018). The study on phantom vibration syndrome confirms findings from other international researches about the experience of mobile phone phantom sensations and their relationship with the pattern of phone use and stress level. Can you imagine how the unhealthy ways and habits of using the phone affect our brains, therefore, our lives? How sad that we, the most intelligent creatures on earth, are letting our own creation damage our physical (stiff neck, numb hands, and burning eyes) and psychological state of being.

When doctors are on call, they carry their pagers with them at all times. It makes sense because lives are at risk, and they need to be alert. The sad reality is that many of us carry our phones in a similar way, constantly alert and waiting for the next notification to pop up, and in most cases, it has no urgency. These days, it’s as if every smartphone user is on call during the day, receiving multiple notifications from emails and messages to Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin, the news, and many more apps.

According to a new study (Clayton et al., 2015), smartphone users have withdrawal symptoms and cannot focus on cognitive tasks during phone separation. Another research shows how our heart rate can elevate when we know that the mobile phone is ringing, but we are unable to respond to it. (Bradley et al., 2001; Lazarus & Folkman,1984; Spielberger, 1979).

So how did we all become so addicted to our phones? Typically, the first thing we do as soon as we open our eyes is to check the time. Our bedside alarm clocks were gradually replaced by our phones, and the habit of checking the time slowly changed into checking what notifications we may have first thing in the morning and later throughout the day. The notifications have been brilliantly designed with human psychology in mind to make the human brain curious and drive the user to swipe, enter the app and spend more time on it. You hear of many people using their phones in the toilet. Others use their phones in traffic while driving, under the table at work, hanging out with friends, or at mealtimes.

Have you ever received a random Instagram notification such as “you have a new friend suggestion” ? This will usually happen when Instagram’s innovative algorithms have been alerted that you’ve been inactive for a while. Their action plan is to lure you back into reopening the app. Once you’re in, Instagram has already carefully selected which posts are most likely to increase your screen time based on the data it has gathered on your profile. Nowadays, most applications use similar algorithms, with their primary aim being to get you engaged and using the app as long as possible. The real business purpose is to engage you for as long as possible so advertisers can reach you. We need to be careful of our morality because of how we are automating systems with artificial intelligence.

A study in 2017 presented by the radiological society of north America showed how the brain chemistry of reward circuits of the brain, particularly the ratio of neurotransmitter GABA to other neurotransmitters was different before and after therapy for phone addiction. GABA is an inhibitory neurotransmitter that regulates various brain functions. Having too much GABA can result in a number of side effects, including drowsiness and anxiety. As if it wasn’t already hard enough to be present and mindful in our fast-paced world. It is even more challenging because of owning a smartphone in this day and age.

On the one hand, the internet and smartphones have added so much to our lives and changed our humanity for the better that not owning one is inconvenient. The smartphone provides information on all subjects at any minute and anywhere. All the perks of owning a smartphone from being able to look at the map anytime you need, checking your bank account from anywhere you are, using the torch in the dark, taking a picture right away, being able to see your loved ones on video calls and having meetings online, are all a few of many advantages the smartphones bring into our lives.

On the other hand, the same device has the potential to open a world of manipulation, which makes you pay with the hours of your life. Therefore, the issue is not with the use of the device in itself but with the time you spend on it. Giving more of your time to different applications makes the tech giants more money. By knowing human nature and using the most sophisticated algorithms, they trick you into spending more time. It’s a business model where volume, eyeballs, and attention is directly correlated with how much money they make. It depends on you to be conscious and learn how to use the technology to benefit you.

All things considered, we all need to attain a pearl of wisdom to use the technology, rather than it using us. Do you believe that it is normal to carry our phones nearby at all times? Especially when spending time with family and friends? Do you find it normal to be addicted to checking for notifications every 15 minutes? Phone addiction is one of the reasons for so many psychological, physical, and behavioural problems in the 21st century.

Consider these steps to disconnect from the virtual world. Remember, you are called a user since it can have the same effect as a drug.

1. Admit to your addiction.

Being able to recognize the signs of addiction is the first step. Be accountable for your actions.

2. Place a clock on your bed stand.

This way, you are able to leave your phone in the living room and make your bedroom a sacred no phone zone. Wake up to a clock and refrain from seeing your notification till after you’re fully awake and have started your day. This will allow your brain and body to wake up fully, have your morning routine and start a new day in a mindful state.

3. Limit the number of notifications you allow on your phone.

Do you really need a reminder from every app on your phone? Do you truly need suggestions every day of who to follow or what to watch? You need time to yourself to gather your thoughts in order to have a productive day without getting distracted. Nowadays, notifications and phone addiction do not allow human beings to have time to digest what is happening in daily life. Also, limit the news notifications. The constant state of panic is truly sickening for the human body and mind.

4. Use unique ringtones or vibrations for emergency contacts.

Not everyone in your life is a priority. Mobile phone users develop many syndromes, including phantom vibration syndrome. To save your mental health and yourself from any syndrome, think about easing your brain’s worry and anxiety about missing an important call from a loved one or someone important by changing ringtones and vibrations. This is a type of therapy to help you with phone separation anxiety. This way, you won’t need to wonder and check every 15 minutes.

5. Restrict phones from social gatherings with a phone basket.

Create a no-phone zone when you are spending time with family and friends. Rehabilitate the people you care for by reminding them of a time where it was possible to enjoy the company of loved ones without checking the phone. Teach the people you love how to enjoy switching off and being present.

6. Be mindful of the ads targeting you.

Ads have become like an echo-chamber. Don’t let yourself become a sheep. Use ad blockers where possible.

7. Use app timers.

Go to your screen time section on your phone and set a time limit target for each app that you are addicted to.

8. Wear a watch to check the time.

One of the main reasons you check your phone is to check the time which leads to checking notifications. Wearing a watch can help you quit the habit.