Your Relationship Status Determines Your Worth.

The Socially Constructed Idea That our Value is Derived From a Relationship.

A nineteen year old writing a blog about relationships?

It’s to be expected that many of you won’t read until the end — because let’s face it, society doesn’t believe that us young ones have much expertise in the department. Undoubtedly, most middle aged men and women would have much more experience when it comes to love, but I too have had my fair share of life lessons over my few years of ‘boy drama’.

I recently found a journal entry from 2013, where I diarised that I “couldn’t wait to find the love of my life”– insisting that I “wouldn’t rush it, because after all, I’m only thirteen”. Unsurprisingly, two years later I was in a ‘relationship’ with a boy that was definitely not going to be the love of my life. Although at that age, of course I was going to marry him and have a happy family. If anyone tried to tell me different, they were the ones who were wrong. Why wouldn’t I marry the boy I’d been dating for a month?

I’ll spare you the sob stories of my break-up ordeals from over the past few years — which let me tell you, felt like the end of the world at the time.

Nonetheless, if you’re single, you’re not deserving of love. If your ex couldn’t love you, who will? If they left you for someone else, you’re clearly not enough; there’s obviously always going to be someone better, right? Wrong.

What the hell happened to “there’s plenty more fish in the sea”?

If someone leaves you, is unfaithful towards you, or is just a straight up moron, they aren’t your soul mate. The whole idea of a soul mate is that they are the person you’re destined to be with. Even referring to someone as an ‘ex’, is enough of an indication that they’re not your life companion.

As hard as it is to believe – whatever is meant to be, will be. If that means that you’re single for the next 10 years, then so be it. Being single and waiting for the right person, is better than being in an unhappy relationship and wasting your time on the wrong person.

Do I have one hundred percent faith in that statement? Not completely. However, much like when everyone told me I’d find someone better than my fifteen year old love — eventually I’ll believe it.

Many of us have become obsessed with the idea of being in a fairytale relationship. However, sometimes the people that we choose to be in this relationship with, are far from princes or princesses.

It’s not your purpose to be in a relationship, especially if it’s with someone that treats you less than you deserve.

Fall in love with your life, instead of believing that you need another person to make it complete. Fall in love with yourself, instead of believing you’re beautiful only if someone says you are. We are much more than relationships. We don’t need ‘another half’, because we are a whole person without someone else.

If you feel as if you’re not, search for the other half of yourself within life’s small pleasures; the first sip of your coffee, the sunrise on a beautiful morning, soft blankets in the winter.

There’s much more to our existence than an intimate relationship. You are worthy, regardless of your interactions with others.

We need to begin believing that we are enough. Because the truth is, we are.

Xo,

Kiarna.