What I Learned From the Best Sex I Ever Had

Turn on, turn off, turn up, tune out, take out, take turns, take off your clothes, and take your time

Lovemaking isn’t some tedious chore that you want to finish as quickly as possible so you can get back to watching television. If you are lucky enough to have found someone to love, celebrate that love by appreciating sex.

Many people are longing to find someone with whom they have a connection. If you have it, consider yourself lucky. Treasure the love you have and express it through your lovemaking. Consenting adults only, of course!

Here are some of the things I learned from my sexiest relationship.

Turn on the lights.

Don’t make love in the dark with the lights off and the shades closed. When you are sitting down to dinner, you don’t want to eat in the dark. Take the same approach when it comes to making love.

If you only agree to have sex after sunset with the lights off, it means that you are not thinking about sex in the right way. If sex is a beautiful expression of love between you and your chosen one, then why would you want to limit it to the hours between dusk and dawn?

Turn on the vibrator.

Discuss it with your partner first, but if you need more good vibrations in the bedroom, consider introducing battery power. Remember the hilarious scene with vibrating panties in The Ugly Truth? You can buy your very own pair.

Turn off the cellphone.

For that matter, turn off the ringer on the house phone, too. It’s no fun to have someone checking caller ID in the middle of a special moment. Let the phone call go to voice mail. That’s why it was invented.

Communicate with each other instead. That doesn’t mean you have to talk non-stop during the act. However, you can feel a closer bond and connection if you say some nicer things to your partner than “Are you finished yet?”

Turn off the television.

It’s not easy to concentrate on maximum pleasure if your lover keeps checking football scores.

Tell your partner how much you care about them. Tell them that you are happy you are together. Let them know exactly how you feel. There couldn’t be a better time to say, “I love you.”

Turn up the radio.

Unlike watching television during sex, listening to music can set the mood. It can also mask any sounds you make. CDs are fine as long as your CD player offers repeat. You don’t want sudden silence as the CD comes to an end.

Tune out distractions.

This is not the time to worry about the economy, downsizing, or what to eat for dinner. Concentrate on what you are doing. You may find yourself enjoying it more.

Make eye contact. You can’t look deep into each other’s souls if you have your eyes closed. If you are not used to keeping your eyes open during sex, you are missing a lot. For the closest, most intimate experience, you want to use all five of your senses.

Take out a library book.

Even better, purchase a book. If your love life is stalled, the Kama Sutra can get the romance up and running again. This classic comes in many modern translations and modern interpretations to suit everyone’s needs.

Take turns.

You and your partner should share the hard work and the rewards that come with it.

If you are having sex, you should be concentrating on all the feelings — physical and emotional — that you are having for your partner. If you find yourself getting distracted, look deep into his or her eyes and regain your focus.

Take off your clothes.

You’d be surprised at how many people have sex with their clothes on (unless you are one of the guilty ones). You don’t shower with your shoes on, so don’t make love with your socks on.

Maybe you forgot to shave your legs, or you want to lose 10 pounds. If you let yourself get bogged down in your perceived physical shortcomings, you will have less time to focus on love. It’s certain that your partner is not thinking about their lack of grooming or fitness level at that moment. You shouldn’t either.

Take your time.

Be present. If you want to share a loving experience then you need to focus on one thing only — your partner. During sex is not the time to think about going to the gym more often, getting a new job, or taking your car to the mechanic.

There’s something very relaxing about sex without time constraints. Don’t put a time limit on your lovemaking. Don’t plan to be finished before Jimmy Kimmel Live comes on.