What’s Happening Out There?

Three months ago, we didn’t know each other. I lived in Belgrade, Serbia, working for a company I’d been with for the past five years. I woke up at the same time every day, took a bus, worked in a well-known setting. I was an old hand at my job, so to say, I knew all the challenges I could encounter — and there was hardly anything that could have surprised me. I had my little rituals — taking a walk in the production hall, drinking my morning cappuccino. I knew exactly how to approach each person, when, and where.

On the other hand, Ena was leading a similar life, only thousands of miles away. “I had a job that fulfilled me, an everyday routine, healthy interpersonal relations with my colleagues, the possibility to grow just as much as I needed, the benefits that were important to me…I completed my work easily, I was a winner at the end of each challenge. And then — something changed. This was not “it” anymore, I wanted to start a new and different story, to start a path that would shake me up and wake a new me.”

What does “comfort zone” mean?

Simply put, we can define it as a situation or a state in which you feel comfortable and you do not have to do anything new or difficult. In our comfort zone, there is a sense of familiarity, security, certainty and our behavior has a certain pattern that minimizes stress and risk. It is the zone we are used to, a well-trodden path in which we feel safe because everything is known and predictable.

We often find ourselves in these situations. Whether it is the same old meal we make every day, the well-known arrangement of things in our home, or the job in the company where we have been working for the past five years. It gives us comfort to know what we can expect, to have a plan of our day “written” in our mind, to use the same old paths. So why change anything?

Why is it so hard to get out of our comfort zone?

Very often we find ourselves in situations where we want to change something, to make a step forward but in the end, for different reasons, we decide to step back and stay where we feel safe. Leaving your comfort zone is uncomfortable. Unknown things might happen out there. Things that might not be very pleasant. The unknown itself is pretty uncomfortable for a lot of people. Despite all the potential benefits, a lot of people don’t want to risk it.

To make a step out of the comfort zone would mean overcoming our abilities and bringing new expectations of ourselves to the table — to adapt, to change, to work harder to see the results… A new step is also a situation that causes in all of us a fear of failure and the loss of self-motivation, and very often we choose to remain trapped in the “comfort zone” because it reduces the discomfort we feel because of changing our reality and our habits.

When we step outside of our comfort zone, we’re taking a risk and opening ourselves to the possibility of stress and uncertainty; we’re not quite sure what will happen and how we’ll react.

Now, this is a place where a common thought occurred to both of us and put us on a path that led us to where we are now — in a story we write together.

Why would anyone decide to leave what is known and try something new? I have a kid (actually, we both have kids), and you want your children to be curious, you want them to try things out. You want them to be courageous and to have no fear. If they fail — you say “never mind, try again”.

So why don’t we do it ourselves? Because of that little seed of doubt — “What do I really want now? Am I satisfied with my life? How could I start something new? Who would help me? What if I cannot do it? What lies ahead? What if I fail?”. If we are at the point where we ask ourselves these questions — we are on a good path. It means we are ready to challenge the status quo. But most often we don’t even realize that we are in a comfort zone — because the comfort zone doesn’t mean nothing happens; it just means we feel safe surfing the waves of the sea that is our life. And those little waves actually make us believe that we are not in a comfort zone and that we are moving forward, where in fact, we are standing still.

And that is exactly what happened to the two of us when we embarked on this journey of changing our jobs. We found ourselves in a selection process for something that had a promise of that change we sought — a company called Symphony. After years in a known setting, we dared to step out. First step out of the comfort zone. When we started the selection process, we had already made a decision — we wanted to change something. We were aware that it would take some adapting and learning, but we were ready and eager! We wanted to become better versions of ourselves, to grow, to find something new. We were prepared! Or were we?

I remember when I got the information that I was “the chosen one”. I wanted it, I really did. But at that moment, when I got an invitation to talk and go through some details, I felt the need to run, to hide. To contemplate a bit before answering. I did answer, of course, I was sure I wanted to say “yes”. I already imagined my first day at the office.

And then, just as I informed my ex-colleagues I was leaving the company — a state of emergency was declared in my country. It was like someone pulled the rug from under my feet. All the standard questions you ask yourself in these kinds of situations just got more complicated. So many more questions I had no answer to.

Ena was also surprised when she got the news — but not by the news itself, but by her own reaction. All sorts of thoughts came uninvited — “Should I do this now? What will this change mean to me? Is it a smart thing to change a job in the middle of COVID-19? How will I work with people that I do not know and have no chance to be close to?”

When you doubt the next step, ask yourself: what would you do if you didn’t feel fear?

For both of us, it was an “either-or” decision. Let our fear guide us or make a brave step forward? And I say brave — because that is what it was — it takes courage and bravery to step out of your comfort zone. Our motivation got the higher ground. It was much stronger than any fear that peaked its ugly head above the ground and the decision was made — we will join Symphony! Ena made a commitment to herself — to use this opportunity the best that she can! I made a promise to myself — stay positive and believe in myself.

How to set a goal and get out of your comfort zone?

1. Do a reality check — learn to question your life in general. Focus on being continuously aware of the “wider picture” of your life. Learn to step back every now and then, and look at where you are. Do you like where you are? What are the things that make you happy? Are there some things you are not satisfied with? Can you change something and what would it be?
2. Take responsibility for yourself and your behavior — be aware that there is always a choice — and aware of the reasons for choosing to be where you are. What are your fears and how can you minimize the risk? What might be the gain?
3. Listen to and follow your needs — if we go after something we really want, we will find it easier to develop and maintain perseverance. It is important to know what we want to change and what benefits we will have after the desired change. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you said “I want to do it, but I just don’t have the time at the moment”? Did you say that you wanted to do it because everyone else wanted to, or because it was important to you? What if the others don’t agree with you?
4. Take the initiative and be persistent. Set and focus yourself on smaller, easier goals and develop strategies for achieving them — organized goals and a plan will always encourage us to persevere but it still takes some time to see the results/change. Identify your strengths and think of a way to use them to your advantage. Celebrate your successes and keep your eyes on the prize.
5. Build your resilience and flexibility — Most of the time, you will struggle to reach your goals and sometimes it will be difficult to make even a small step in that direction. Taking the road of change requires strengthening your mental resilience. Explore this topic more in-depth and discover your preferred resilience-building methods.
6. Build a support system — surround yourself with people you can rely on and whose opinion you value, be open to seek their support and feedback; but also be prepared to act independently. It’s often hard to see ourselves outside of our own perspective, and this is where others jump in. Include them, explain the change you are going through, share your context, and let them help you.
7. Learn to celebrate your successes and use them as a motivation to keep going. Try making a “treasure map” for yourself. A treasure map is a physical representation of your goals. It’s a collage of images and text that acts as a reminder of what you want to achieve, and how you will do it. First, identify your goals; then visualize them; after that, visualize all the important milestones during that journey; and finally, put it on a paper and use all the milestones as a celebration point to congratulate yourself on what you have accomplished. Be aware that the more ambitious the goal is, the more effort and time it may take. Give yourself credit for every milestone you reach and be patient while waiting for the next one.
8. Allow yourself to make a mistake — now, this is easier said than done. We all want to be able to make mistakes, but there are so many factors that are stopping us from really believing that this is OK. Ask yourself — what is the worst thing that can happen? Can you do something to minimize the chances of it happening? What can you gain from that failure? Most often, we are failing our own expectations. So we need to be prepared to try and make a mistake. To allow ourselves to make a mistake. And then, to rise and try again.

What are the benefits of getting out of your comfort zone?

It is very hard to imagine that someone is willing to make a big change in life and not expect any benefits from that courageous step. While staying in your comfort zone can result in a consistent, steady performance, stepping out of your comfort zone into a new and challenging task can create the conditions for optimal performance. Think about it: Did you ever do something you were really proud of when you were in autopilot mode?

Stepping out of your comfort zone can bring you several ways of improvement:

• Challenging yourself can help you perform at your peak; when we challenge ourselves, we tend to rise to the occasion. How can we expect to evolve in our lives and careers if we only stick to habits and routines? Reaching new heights involves the risk of attempting something we might not succeed at. When breaking out of one’s comfort zone, personal ability is amplified, and the results that may not have been thought possible are produced.
• Trying new things can make you more creative; when you try new things, you put your brain into unique situations that force it to really think. This stimulates creativity, which eventually spills over into other areas of your life. As a result, you begin to think about everything in a new light. We often forget how creative we can be if we only try.
• Taking risks is what helps us grow and to achieve a goal requires the courage to face the fear of uncertainty. No matter the outcome, either way, we grow through the process and become more confident. Better yet, building those skills helps us to deal with change and make a change in a much better way.
• Embracing new challenges can help you age better; our comfort zone tends to shrink as we get older — but if we can keep expanding it, we’ll open ourselves up to greater fulfillment and improved well-being as we age. Learning new and demanding life skills, while also maintaining a strong social network, can help us stay mentally sharp as we get older.

Comfort zones exist in every area of our lives. The key is to be aware of them and examine which of them may not be serving our current goals. Which comfort zones are preventing you from creating change?

Now, if you need a bit more persuading — try reading Who moved my cheese? by Spencer Johnson. Who are you most like — Sniff, Scurry, Hem, or Haw?