Too Dumb To Be A Doctor

I was that child.

The one in the back of the kindergarten class who read their book upside down.

I was that child,

Who had their own language they shared with their toys,

I was that child,

Who no one expected so much from.

I colored with broken pencils because I couldn’t find the sharpener,

I doodled on my math because my brain roamed outside of addition.

I was that child and I wasn’t seen as smart.

By the end of first grade I wasn’t reading up to par,

My teacher called my mom and told her I needed to raise the bar,

Mrs said I was behind, mommy asked how far,

As if my peers were planets and I a dying star.

I wanted to be a doctor,

But I didn’t like the blood.

It was sticky and icky because I was 6 years old,

Just lost my first tooth,

My sweetness was an asset at the time.

I wanted to be a doctor,

So I could give the good little babies stickers if they didn’t cry for their shot,

Because I was 6 years old and I wanted to be a nice person.

I wanted to be a doctor,

But I was that child.

And they all knew it.

I couldn’t read to save my life.

Life.

A sight word that appeared before my eyes on a flashcard.

My peers could spell because and excellent,

I could spell life on a good day.

I wanted to be a doctor,

But I couldn’t spell because,

And I was behind the line of passing for a first grader.

I told them I wanted to be a doctor,

I opened my eyes like doors to the kids in my class.

You’re too dumb to be a doctor,

You can’t spell because.

My eyes slammed shut like the moody teenage girl that now controls my mind.

I hate going to the doctors,

A doctor told me I was behind due to my brain.

My brain and a little part of it that was titled dyslexic.

It was a doctor who tested me for hours on end to prove that I wasn’t just “dumb”.

Doctors draw blood and decipher the muddled minds of 1st grade dyslexics.

I was a 6 year old dyslexic,

And I was too dumb to be the doctor that uncovered what chained me to not spelling because.


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