Anything You Want

If you could have, do, or be anything you want, what would it be?

Often initial answers center around things we want to have. “I want a Lamborghini,” “I want to be a millionaire,” or “I’d like to buy a house,” are common responses.

We then tend to move on to experiences we’d like to have, or things we want to achieve, like travel to other countries, complete a marathon or triathlon, earn a degree, write a book, or speak in public.

Many of us pursue various states of being. We want to be healthy, be an exceptional parent, or be happy.

Answers to the question of what we want vary widely, depending on the circumstances and stage of life of the one giving the answer.

Talk to a student and she may be focused on finding a job after graduation and relationships with friends or a significant other.

Ask a father what he wants and his response might be “I want to give my kids a good education,” or if he’s a new father, “I just want a good night’s sleep.”

Put this question to a middle-aged mother living in poverty in Bangladesh, and she says she wants to feed her family. A senior citizen in Helsinki is focused on his recent diagnosis of heart disease and how he’s going to get the right healthcare and improve his physical fitness. A young entrepreneur in Hong Kong wants to find investors.

Each of us is unique, and we each have unique desires. However, no matter what you want, you can get it through the power of influence.

Influence happens when you do something that impacts someone. You may influence an employer to give you a job. Your influence may cause a customer to buy what you’re selling. Through influence you can inspire a child to learn, a community to organize, and a nation to change.

Sometimes, that “someone” you influence is yourself. You might influence yourself to:

• Eat better
• Exercise more
• Start reading again
• Be a better friend, partner, or spouse
• Overcome depression or mental illness
• Create a legacy

In most cases, getting what you want involves influencing both yourself and others. If you want to get married, you must influence the person you want to marry, and be the person your target of affection wants to be with. If you want to get a good job, you must both acquire the necessary skills and convince the employer to hire you.

Influence is a Tool

If you want to teach people a new way of thinking, don’t bother trying to teach them. Instead, give them a tool, the use of which will lead to new ways of thinking. ― Richard Buckminster Fuller

No matter what you want, you will need influence to get it. In this sense, influence is a tool.

Like all tools, influence is neither good nor bad–it depends how you use it.

Like all tools, influence works better when you know how it works.

Unlike other tools, influence has the power to give you anything you want.

My purpose is writing this book is to assist you on your journey to understand what influence is, how it works, and how to master it to get what you want.

Persuasion, Manipulation, and Intent

Your influence may be persuasive or manipulative. If I asked you which is moral and good, and which is immoral and wrong, you’d likely respond that persuasion is good, while manipulation is bad. However, this not always the case.

If your small child was running toward a busy and dangerous street and you reached out to grab your child by the arm and yank him to safety, you would have manipulated him. It does not follow that your action is immoral.

Neither is persuasion always positive. There are many well-intentioned leaders who have used reason and logic to lead their followers to disaster.

Manipulation is not necessarily negative, persuasion is not always positive, and intent is not enough to guarantee positive outcomes. A doctor who believes he acts in the best interests of a patient may act morally and yet still do harm. Certainly we should trust those with good intent more than those who wish to hurt us, but good outcomes require both positive intent and actions based on accurate information.

By the time you are done reading this book, you will have acquired a powerful tool, perhaps the most powerful tool that exists. Will you use it to do lasting good that benefits all, or for short-term personal gain at the expense of others?

The choice is yours.

Quotes

Notes

The purpose of the introduction is to sell the “why” for why this book exists. Why should you read this book? What good will it do for you? Why should you recommend it to your friends? To me, the introduction of a book is perhaps the most important part, because if it’s no good, what are the chances you’ll read beyond it? On the other hand, if the introduction fascinates you, provides a transformational experience, and leaves you hungry for more, then you’ll listen to what I have to say, even if in places it isn’t the most engaging or interesting content.

What the introduction is not: It’s not a place for me to tell my life story or really talk about myself at all–you’re not reading this book to learn about me.

Things I want to do or cover in the introduction…

Start with a story?

Give a clear and compelling “why”

Spell out who will benefit most from reading this book

• Spouses
• Parents
• Teachers
• Leaders
• Friends
• Counselors
• Entrepreneurs