What Could I Have Done? — Story By a Disable Child

I live but just on my bed
I talk but just with myself
I eat but not by myself

Yes…!
I am physically disabled who society cannot accept but laugh
I am physically disabled who loves everyone but no one loves me back
I am physically disabled who is far away from the drama of life, the love, and the trust

Life isn’t a fairy tale all the time. It hits us every time, we think of something amazing’.

When a woman gets pregnant, she sees a lot of dreams in her eyes, started assuming what beautiful feeling would that be to feed her newborn baby, to let her baby sleep under her arms, to play with him and to have the whole new experience of the beautiful word — “Mom/Ammi/Mother/Amma”

So with…
- A lot of dreams in her eyes
- A lot of ambitions in her heart
- And A lot of desires that inspire her to be a better mother — because I was the fourth kid she was giving birth to.

But as always Life happened To be an Unsolved Mystery! Here, she gave birth to a child who cannot speak, cannot walk, and cannot do anything on his own.

Yes — she gave birth to a baby boy who is disabled..!

So here the anxiety of a mother starts..!

• How her life would be when she knows she gave birth to a baby boy — happy right ..?
• But what her life would be when she gets to know that baby is handicapped
• What her life would be when she thinks of her daughters who fortunate to have a brother but unfortunate to play with him, to laugh with him and to walk with him
• What her life would be when she thinks of her husband fortunate to have a son but unfortunate to be his own shadow in old age
• What her life would be when she thinks about the society which will no longer accept her son as a normal person

But on top of all — what about my life, my feeling, my thinking — what could I have Done — that God made me like this…?

Did I pray God to make me like this or is it the karma of my parents?

I know, since the day I born, I am just a burden to my family but

I also breathe just like everyone else
I also wish to be in a society just like you
I also wish to be treated well just like everyone else

* But no — for me, those who see my disability before seeing who really I am, is a disabled
* For me, the love that most human talk about is ‘just their priority’ and not what the true sense of love should be
* For me, being alive is the greatest gift than regretting not having the one we wished

Just like I am perfect in my imperfection. Are You..?

Do you feel perfect with everything that God gifted you..? These two hands to give back, legs to walk around, eyes to look beyond, face to express peace and more.

I don’t have a hand to capture a dashing selfie, sexiest body to wear branded products, legs to walk around parties but still ‘I am grateful to breathe today, to have a beautiful family and those unspoken words that spoke everything today’.


Thank you