A heartfelt thank you to all the articles telling me how to manage my time with the sole purpose of finding time for even more tasks, how to be my most productive self at work, how to integrate ChatGPT to get rid of my repetitive tasks, and how to do more work for less time.
Another heartfelt thank you to the authors who told me how to hustle, how to become an online personality, how to not work forever or all the time, how to find my work self in their worksheets, and how to write an article per day even though I work an arduous 8-hour workday.
After responding with a “Thank you!” to an “Oh, my, you’re so busy!” comment, I decided to conduct thorough research on how to be your Best Self.
Rule 1: Set Unrealistic Expectations for Yourself
Appearance on social media has been scratching egos for years.
Focus on how you present yourself.
Scroll past sparkly outfits, dream destinations, cute family portraits, and aesthetic work atmospheres.
Learn that you want all of that and more.
Rule 2: Obsess with Aesthetics.
Let’s account for what you can do in the lifetime of a fly.
Work takes 8 hours. 16 left.
Running after public transport takes an hour. 15 left.
Ordering your physical clutter to keep up with the aesthetics takes one hour. 14 left.
Sustaining the body with beautiful meals from and for the ‘gram takes one hour. 13 left.
Going to the gym and removing the unpresentable sweat takes two hours. 11 left.
The moneymaker takes one hour. 10 left.
Posting, editing, scheduling — 1 hour. 9 left.
Beauty sleep takes 8 hours. 1 left.
Post only the best, though. Do not show the struggle.
What will you do in the remaining one hour?
Make sure to post about it, xoxo.
Rule 3: Net Worth defines Self Worth.
Despite the buzz around #selfcare and #mentalhealth, drop it.
The mental clutter is invisible. (Unless you pair it with an Instagram-worthy book cover next to a cute teacup.)
Place your focus on what truly matters — numbers.
Count your followers.
Tally your likes.
Monitor your engagements.
Keep an eye on the digits in your bank account.
Net worth is your new self-worth.
Almost as the Mean Girls preached, on Wednesdays, we swear on trends.
Rule 4: Embrace the Grind.
Since everyone is already on the bandwagon, why not join the race of 6-figure salaries in a month?
Whether you choose to be a #hustler or an #entrepreneur, make it the only part of your identity. Hustling is quick, entrepreneurship — more productive. Pick your fight.
Get inspired by the tons of accounts telling us how much you can earn, how to get there, market, market, market.
Rule 5: Go to the Maldives.
My personal assistant reported that the Maldives is a hot destination now. Book a ticket and post, post, post.
This article was conceived in a moment of post-work cynicism.
If you have left me a comment about how wrong I have been raised, a trigger warning, I don’t believe in a word I wrote.
If you want to share a shot of cynicism with me, let me tell you now, honestly,
People are tired of earning just enough to live and just enough for their employer to go to the Maldives every year.
That is a fact.
However, so much content prays on that.
In the last month, I have received offers for collaboration for ‘free sunglasses, you only pay for the delivery’, ‘special offers you can’t miss’, ‘tick-tock the time is ticking away, why haven’t you taken this opportunity that has landed on your lap’, ‘we are so disappointed in your lack of action!’.
The only question I have is, how does it enrich me to do that?
Will I be glued to my phone, anxiously awaiting the number of sunglasses sold?
Or can I break free from the digital grind and find peace?
Rest the mind. Rest the body. Rest the soul.
I was not always like this. I was not always prioritizing the Self. Guilty as charged.
I lie to you, reader, there is a nugget of truth amid the irony in the “Rules” section.
The Maldives anecdote.
One of my former employers incessantly complained about going to the Maldives every year. In the meantime, my best friend tirelessly acted as a lifeguard every time I needed to be saved from my own ocean of self-pity, over-exhaustion and burnout.
What actually helped me to go beyond keeping my head above water is letting go of:
Trying to make everyone happy, including my own expectations.
Blurred boundaries!
Guilt.
Overscheduling!
The constant need to be busy.
Do not confuse your financial worth with your self-worth.
Do not confuse being busy with your self-worth.
Do not confuse being busy with happiness.
No employer will applaud your personal sacrifices so be egoistic with your time.
Until the next shot of cynicism,
K
