Pretty As You Feel

Over the course of 64 years (and still), I have encountered so many women (including my still lovely ex-wife) in person and in writing who struggle with their looks. It seems to be an eternal theme that crosses generations. So, I decided to write this humble piece in reply.

You Are My Guides

By Ayesha Talib Wissanji a.k.a SunSpirit

Darling, Beautiful Children,

I want you to know that all 3 of you are the most amazing people I have ever met.

I want you to know that I choose my friends very carefully, I would choose you…

This beauty-based praise of girls feeds the cancer. No matter how well intended, it seems it only serves to condition girls to identify as their looks, and additionally their looks as defined and measured by others. There’s all kinds of research on praise in general that shows false, often empty/insubstantial praise fosters all kinds of ill effects…

I think about this all the time. I spend a lot of time with fit and active, strong women. Bodies, beauty, weight, comments on others’ bodies (even when positive) permeate our conversations. It is painful. I try desperately not to engage (and for the most part am successful) yet what I am painfully aware of is that these conversations are everywhere…

People Should Accept Who They Are

If there is one thing that annoys me, it’s people who hide who or what they are. Thank you for sticking with yourself and allowing yourself the pleasure of this.

So many people spend thousands on their looks, changing hair colour, teeth, etc…