“You’re so much fun to look at!” “I can’t stop looking at you!” “No, I can’t stop talking and just fuck you already!” “I can’t believe you’re kissing me!” “I won’t touch parts of you I wouldn’t touch in a church.” “If you show cleavage, I’ll scold you because I know better.” “Side hugs only. Otherwise, I’ll feel your breasts.” “Hold up, let me pretend I’m gay…” “I’m sorry, I wish your Mazda got better gas mileage.”