Talking

After we parted ways I thought to myself “That was a waste of time. Worst lunch meeting ever!” There was a youth pastor who reached out to me and wanted to get together for lunch. “Great!” I thought to myself. “I love getting together with other young ministry leaders! We…

There’s hardly any walk of life that hasn’t felt the seismic effect of the ongoing coronavirus epidemic. Although now in its conclusive stages, it’s easy to forget how for the first few months, life as we know it had come to a halt. …

可以不要問我什麼時候畢業ㄇ ＱＱ 最近的生活過得有點虛無。目前我的人生除了論文，好像就沒事可以做了，但在論文進度也是一事無成，於是一事無成似乎跟我最近的個人評價畫上等號。 我逃避不了這種虛無感和否定感，有時候我只是睡個午覺，或是比較晚起，我就會有種：為什麼你可以這麼任性呢？明明對社會沒有任何產值，還承諾身邊的人要趕快寫論文、趕快畢業去賺錢，卻還是停在這裡？ 3C 時代下的逃避黑洞 但因為在論文撞牆期的自己，還沒過那道牆，於是我會關掉文獻，打開無意義的視窗：臉書、IG、小紅書，滑著不同的資訊，吸收那些在時代尖端的資訊，跟上我有在吸取資訊的潮流，彷彿我就比較不廢一點，彷彿我就不算是個沒有在前進的人。但是事實是，我越滑，我就越覺得焦慮，「那些資訊與我何干？能幫助我的論文嗎？」結果導向的思維，再次把我推向另一個自我責怪的地洞裡。 再對比身邊正在工作的朋友，甚至到論文大有進度的朋友，我都覺得我到底為什麼前進不了？我為什麼要在這裡？明明工作可能更能讓我勝任，更能讓我感受到自我的價值感，為什麼我還要卡在論文的深淵裡？

I am now about 5 feet from where she is standing and at this point, some of her female friends stop talking to look at me or in my direction. At this point, I decided to just smile at her and say hi. I chickened out to do anything more…

We talk, and we want people to talk to us (usually)–at least from biological stand point. After all humans are social creatures, and it is through such social interactions that we got to where we are. The technological marvels that we compose through conversing with one another, and information sharing. …