Fucking for Money vs. Fucking for Fun
It’s about control
I’ve fucked far more men for money than I have for fun. Even during the time I was a prostitute in France, I dated men and fucked them for fun. They were the bartenders and hotel managers who knew how to spot someone who fancied spending a small fortune for some time with me between the sheets. They weren’t judgmental but there was an understanding that the date ended in sex. I was more than happy to oblige.
The sex those men got was the same sex the men who paid me got, and that’s what they expected. They were knowingly dating a prostitute, so they knew how a prostitute fucked men. They received a professional blow job and a world class performance fuck and they always asked me out again on my nights off.
I never worked on a street corner charging €50 for a blow job in a back alley. Becoming a prostitute was an accident of sorts but I didn’t do it just for a couple of weeks. I did it for 15 months and enjoyed it and might do it again soon. I worked for an agency, so I usually was paid to have sex three or four times a night, not enough to get tired of it on any given day.
It’s glamorous being a highly paid escort. I was expected to wear the finest and my lingerie was the most expensive items I wore. My heels cost a fortune and everything about me screamed money. I looked like a high-class hooker, which is what men want. I got into that.
The sex was good too, because I was in charge. I figured out what the men wanted, how they wanted me to behave and what they expected out of me and fulfilled every criterion, and more. I was an excellent whore.
The problems began when I stopped my short career as a prostitute and wanted to go back to a semblance of what I was before. It’s not just a sexual thing, it’s changing who I had become. I was a huntress and a seductress. That’s how I saw myself and I got positive reinforcement every day.
I had replaced any sense of love with the thrill of the night. I was married throughout this time, but I deserted my husband and lived in an alternative world full of bright lights, candlelit hotel rooms and compliment after compliment from over a thousand men who enjoyed my body. Everything in my past seemed hopelessly mundane in comparison. Only a foolish mistake on my part ended my time in France. Returning to normality was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.
Unless one is doing something stupid on any given night and sleeping with a stranger for the sheer joy of it, getting back to putting even a modicum of affection into sex after being a prostitute takes time. It took me over a year to begin enjoying fucking my husband for fun and he sensed it immediately. Our reconciliation and his forgiveness only came after I began acting again like the woman he originally married.
I used to be able to go into a bar of a five-star hotel and have every man’s attention focused on me and they knew it would cost them money to sate their lust. I got used to that and I really began to like the power it gave me. I began to think that was my reality and to stop behaving that way was, at first, impossible, because I didn’t want to in the slightest.
I knew just how to suck a cock and keep a man suspended between orgasm and desire as long as I wished. I could sense when the buildup began and when it was going to go over the edge. I knew just at what point to roll on the condom and pull a man’s cock inside my pussy so he would finish exactly when I wanted him to. That turned me on enormously.
When I behaved like that with men who cared about me it put them off and drove away their desire. Like a dancing partner, most men want to lead. They want to get me off before they satisfy themselves. They want to see my chest flush a bright pink from an orgasm. That’s the difference between fucking for money and fucking for fun.
I had to learn again how to surrender control and let the men who cared about me fuck me like they wanted to. Once I realized that simple axiom, I learned again how to mix sex and love again.
Now I truly enjoy fucking for fun and do it often with my partners. And I know I could go back to fucking for money and keep a balance in my life. I miss that a lot and I’ve got a few years left where I could truly enjoy that.
