Four Stories From Heaven
That somehow fell here
One time a bird decided he’d own the whole world! All his bird friends were amazed: “Is the sky not enough for you?”
I heard that one time they had a contest in our quadrant of the galaxy to see which species had the craziest ideas. We won, of course. And that’s why no one visits us anymore.
I also heard that one time the Moon got frustrated with shining all the time, and asked the Sun to go on vacation!
The Sun, having heard these sorts of complaints for simply millennia, said, “I’m sorry. I really can’t, you know.”
“Why not?” the Moon wanted to know. “I just want to cool off for awhile.”
“The Solar Wind won’t let me,” the mighty Sun explained. “She’s absolutely silent, but I’m tied to her.”
And that’s why the Moon has orgasms continuously.
All true rabbis are blondes.
- Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev
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© “John” Lesly Levin 2022
Note: Levi Yitzchak, the famous Berditchever Rebbe, got pissed at me for using that saying of his, but it is absolutely true, even if it’s not. He’s been in Heaven since 1809, and the internet Up There has been acting spotty, something about not paying their Starlink bill on time. He said he’d get back to me to correct the quote to reflect what he really said one shabbat in the summer of 1798.
But I haven’t heard from him yet, and knowing him, it’ll probably be awhile.
