Member-only story
MAGA, Flat Earth, and You
A cautionary tale
I heard that Trump decided he’d take a World Tour. Now everyone knows how paranoid and crazy he is. Some idiot had convinced him the world is really flat. He was scared he’d fall off the edge.
Especially in Lesotho.
So he took Musk along for protection. Musk had told him that all he had to do was keep a Starlink dish in his Depends and if he felt himself slipping into outer space, to just send a text, “Help me, Elon!” and Musk would promptly send a 19 year old member of his DOGE team to rescue him.
“Even in Lesotho?” Trump wanted to know.
“Don’t worry, Donnie! I am so smart that that I can run a chain saw backwards and still father 12 more children!” Elon sarcastically pretended to competency in a vocal sort of way.
“Why do you need even more children?” Trump asked him.
“I need a lot, Donnie, because I’m going to take them all to Mars on a Starship. It’ll be like Adam and Eve. We’re going to start a new world!”
Melania, who happened to be listening in on the intercom, smelled her chance. She walked into the Oval Office in her pajamas and said, “Take me, Elon! I’m tired of my space cadet husband and I want to start a new world with you!”
