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Melania’s Hat & the End of Democracy
I had a dream the other night, and it really made me wonder. JD Vance knocked at my door and, because it was a dream, I didn’t see anything unusual about it. I invited him in.
“What’s up, JD? I haven’t seen you in awhile,” I ventured.
“Trump is after me, and I gotta hide out. I figured your living room would be the last place they’d look,” he confessed.
“What did you do?”
“He caught me licking Melania’s hat.”
“You mean the Zorro one?”
“What else, idiot? I was just getting ready to roast another chihuahua when suddenly an Amazon truck pulled up and Bezos himself got out with that stupid hat in a cardboard box and gave it to me personally.”
“What did he say?” I really had to know.
“Well, John, he looked me in the eye and said ‘Help me, JD! Elon Musk has sent a contingent of crazy Afrikaners and MAGA drag queens to steal my megayacht and fill it full of Venezuelan gang members! You’re all I have!’”
“JD, you weren’t hallucinating that you were in some twisted Star Wars movie? I mean Princess Leia and all that…”
“I thought I was at first. The smell of roasting chihuahuas does make me giddy.”
