The Ultra-Wet Uncertainty of It All
Have you heard of Schrodinger’s Guru? They say he lives in a cave in the Himalayas, but no one dares to go in and find out.
I once had a dream that my bed followed me to the kitchen. When I realized I was actually awake, I got it to go make coffee.
It’s sad to hear, but Rodney Dangerfield contacted me from Heaven. “No one laughs at my jokes here, John,” he told me.
“But Rodney, that’s because you’re still a sexist. Times change, you know,” I had to tell him.
“Even in Heaven, John?”
“Yeah, Rod, even there. Sort of especially there I would think. They need to appoint a new leader.”
“A woman?” Rod asked.
“It’s about time.”
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What do you get when you cross religion with reality?
Reality always wins.
Maybe religion needs to take a vacation. I heard that Starship seats to Mars are going cheap. But then, so are self-driving taxis and household robots. I heard that you can buy a whole AI house for next to nothing!
The problem is it hallucinates and thinks it’s Jesus! I had to move out after just a week. I tried to send it back to Amazon, but when it got there, the whole warehouse went on strike!
The problem, they said, was that no one liked working on Sundays to begin with, but going to church was even worse.
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The problem with humans is that we have never (never, that is) been at all good with the unintended consequences. I tried to explain it to Henry Ford recently about how burning all that gasoline was going to really screw up our climate.
But he bought a Starship ticket to Mars and bailed instead.
If you go to NASA, I hear the Perseverance rover took a picture of this strange dude driving a Model T up the side of Jezero Crater. You can believe me if you want, but I tell you, has anyone seen Henry Ford lately? I haven’t.
I’ve decided to escape to the Future, where Alfred E. Neuman has assured me that all worries have been banished forever. He should know. No one’s seen him around lately either.
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© “John” Lesly Levin 2024
