The pursuit of happiness
Thru my father’s eyes
Some people have asked me: “what’s the most important attribute my father had?”. For me the answer is clear. He was happy.
My father was born in the context of extreme poverty. He grew up in an abusive environment. Abandoned by his father. His childhood was one without hopes to find presents in Christmas under the tree. He actually never had a Christmas tree that I know or have heard of.
He had to start working when he still wasn’t even ten years old. He worked on everything to provide for his brothers and to help my grandma with the expenses. Both of them working just barely covered their food and clothes. They couldn’t afford rent so they depended on people giving them shelter for many years.
He used to sell candy in the street, chewing gum, air balloons, ice cream on movie theaters. He used to “steal” little fishermen boats with his friends at night to fish for food, making sure to have the boat returned in the morning before they were caught. Many times they would not have luck fishing, and him and his friends returned home sad knowing they would not eat that day. Worst than that, their brothers would not eat that day. Even worked at a lumberyard for some time.
Going to school without anything on his stomach was a common thing. -I often laugh about recent studies saying kids won’t perform well unless they have a good breakfast-. He studied despite the fact his father laughed at him for doing so. With the argument of “real man go to work on the field”. He studied despite the fact he didn’t have money to afford it. Somehow he managed to get the books he needed.
It was thru very hard, intensive and honest work that he brought his family from extreme poverty to middle class. It was a long and difficult journey. More than any of us (including me) could handle. And yet, he was truly happy.
Sure those times were full with difficult moments, tears and pain. But when he would tell us stories about those days, they were mostly incredible adventures him and his friends went thru. We would laugh so hard at his stories, to the point I wished I could have one day stories like those.
Later in his life he achieved financial and professional success. We were never rich by any means, but we did very good when he was around. And thru those good times also, he remained happy. You would imagine he was happier once he achieved all those things, but no, he was as happy as he was going fishing at night with his buddies.
And from here is where I got the biggest lesson he could ever thought me. He thought me happiness comes when you decide to be happy. Happiness is within me, and doesn’t depend on anybody or on anything or on any place. If you find yourself pursuing happiness, you are doing it wrong. When you realize happiness depends only on yourself, you realize nobody or anything can take it away, and that is the most amazing feeling a person can have.
