UX Writing Sample: Amazon iPad App
Amazon iPad App
I have not been a fan of Amazon’s UX Writing. I find it crowded and inconsistent. Amazon also likes to use “you” and “your” anywhere they can. I find that problematic and this page is a good example of that.
Stakeholders:
People go to Amazon to buy things. They chose Amazon because they can find what they want quickly and for a good price. Users like Amazon because it’s a site that knows what their customers want.
Problem:
I found the titles “Recommendations for you in Industrial & Scientific,” “Inspired by your shopping trends,” and “More top picks for you” to be redundant and not well thought out.
Goal:
Make sure everything is labeled correctly without making the user feel overwhelmed. Clarify, and start the conversation.
Questions:
To fix this I would like to ask the question…
What is the algorithm looking for in each of these rows?
If I had to guess I would say that the top row saw that the user often searches in the “Industrial & Scientific” category. The second row is catering to all the general trends of the user and the third is simply “more” of the same thing.
Solution:
If the UXers said that this is what the algorithm was doing and it was the way they wanted to keep it I would suggest they change the UX Writing to…
“Recommendations: Industrial & Scientific”
“Our top picks for you”
“And more”
Why:
There could be an argument that I am taking out a lot of personal inflection. Most of the original text uses “you” and “your.” This is a very common language for Amazon. I assume it is done to give the text a personal touch. However, I suspect (having not tested this out yet) that it gives the impression of being talked to or at. I would like to give the impression of starting a conversation so users feel as if their part of the conversation.
“Recommendations: Industrial & Scientific”
This text gives you the necessary information. The products below are recommended for you. They are in “Industrial & Scientific” category because we noticed you shop there often.
“Our top picks for you”
“Our” could be interchangeable with “Amazon’s.” It shows that Amazon is working for you. Amazon chose these items for you based on your shopping patterns and thought it might be helpful.
“And more”
Starting a tab with a congestion might not be advised. However, again I think it gives the impression of continuing the conversation with the App. It also implies that Amazon went the extra mile to find just what you were looking for.
