It takes a lot of practise to make a great speaker. It took me a couple of years to finally get to grips with the art of getting someone involved with what you are talking about. There are a few simple things that you can do to speak with impact. Tonality is very important. When you talk to someone on the phone they can’t see you, but the way you talk to them will give the listener an idea of your state of mind and will tell the listener a lot about your personality. With tonality you can say something negative but the way you say it will either make the listener interpret it as a constructive criticism or as an insult.

How to introduce yourself to someone new.

When you talk to someone new, the first 30 seconds are the most important. Try and get the other person to open up about themselves. Be interested in them. You don’t need to think of something creative or original to say, a simple “hello” or “how are you?” can suffice. It doesn’t matter if you are talking to a complete stranger or a friend of a friend, the same techniques apply.

Make eye contact, eye contact is a sign of sincereity and also when you look at someone you’ll instantly know if they are following your story. It takes time to practise looking at someone in the eyes and it might be awkward, and the more you practice, the more natural it’ll get. I learnt this trick from a blog by Tim Ferriss. It has helped me become more influential in my social and work life, sometimes I do feel uncomfortable and I will continue to practise to look at someone in the eyes. It creates a connection if done correctly, like they are the only ones with your full attention and nothing else matters. If I’m attracted to someone I find that a strong eye contact with a killer smile flicked in their direction works every time.

Look at the person that you are talking to, and make assumptions based on what you see and ask questions. So if the person looks very smart ask them if they are going out to work, ask them where they work and what they so and make a few statements of your own before you continue asking them more questions. The last thing you want to do is to bombard them with questions like an interrogation. Do ask questions but let them answer, and then elaborate on their answer before you ask a new question.

Once I spoke to somebody who was was from Birmingham, UK, and because I had worked there I was able to speak to them about the area a little and what my likes and dislikes about the area before I asked them other questions. Don’t talk about yourself and suck up their energy and don’t suck up to them. So if they say that they are from Birmingham, and you claim that you love it even though you don’t, that’s not a good idea. Some people can sniff out bullish*t a mile off.

Don’t be generic and ask the same questions to the different people, personalize what you say to each person. It will make them treasure what you say to them. Lastly read newspapers, blogs from influencers and news, it will help you understand what is going on in the world around you and it will encourage you to develop new topics to talk about.

How to tell mesmerising stories.

Great stories hold great power. Sometimes our interactions with our friends and at work can give us a talking point. I always talk to people about funny stories that I have experienced with our customers, and the way I get my listeners hooked is with this technique: Start with the headline, something that will grab the listeners’ attention by the horns. This can be often used to great effect to start a meeting or a public speaking event. It will let everybody know the topic, and it’ll subconsciously remind them of the topic in the back of their head.

Every now and then when you get in an exciting part of a story, leave a pause. A pause of a few seconds will encourage the listener fill in the blanks and will get them guessing what will happen next, sometimes you can give them hints. People don’t like uncomfortable silences, they’d rather fill them in than to leave it to a longer silence. The idea of a pause is to get the listener involved in your conversation. Often great stories are not made up, but something that you’ve experienced in your life. It could be tragic, happy, funny, or even surprising! You might even be able to teach the listener something new.

People like to know things other people don’t know. It’s how gossip spreads. Sometimes when you’re telling the stories ask them what they would do in your situation. Introduce feelings and get the other person feel what is happening in your stories by your posture, gestures and body language. Change the tone of your voice to emphasise emotion, and use metaphors to get your listener to understand the situation.

Great stories help people remember you for who you are. It can be short or long ones, but it has to be memorable and easy for you you to tell others about.