#4 Reasons Why Masturbation Shouldn’t Be A Taboo For The Next Generation
If I’ll ever have a daughter one day, she’ll know more about it than I did
My sister got a phone call for a job yesterday. It was the manager of the lovehoney.com warehouse, the n.1 sex shop in Australia. Apparently, they have been looking for extra people, due to the high demand of sex toys during this pandemic time.
As I write this article, she’s doing her first day at their factory and I can’t help myself but wonder how she’s dealing with it, knowing that she has never owned any sex toy and the world of masturbation and self pleasure has always been a taboo for her, as it still is for many women of our generation.
Since it’s a big thing for her, and for the family, I mentioned it yesterday at dinner. I was curious about the benefits and “discounts” you could possibly have working for this business.
The atmosphere in the room got heavy and I couldn’t help but noticing how embarrassed she felt, specially because her partner was there sitting in front of her.
Both of them didn’t even give much attention to the actual question. What made they feel very uncomfortable was the fact that I could possibly have one, or use one or perhaps want one, as if it was something very very wrong.
Their reaction over dinner and the responses I received from both of them weren’t new to me, at all. And to be honest, it’s been quite hard to find people who would agree with me and feel comfortable enough to talk about this topic.
Sex toys have been around for decades and the first vibrator was invented more than a century ago. And still, here we are again. I wonder why.
Why is it still consider immoral? Why do people react the way they do when they hear the word “masturbation” or “orgasm”? Specially when the positive effects of it are numerous and beautiful for both body and mind.
When I was a curious teenager, this was one of the matters we would never, ever, ever discuss in the family, even when we were only us girls.
It’s hard to forget the feeling, when I was so excited to talk about something that was making me feel good and loved, because it does, and the looks of disapproval in their faces. Looks that are fed by ignorance, myths, shame, societal stigmas or spiritual expectations. Which are, so far, the only negative aspects of it really.
And I, by all means, do not want the next generations to go through it. We are here to make this world a better place, a place where we can be free to talk about what makes us feel good, and share it, so others can feel good too. So, let’s go.
#1 | It’s the most natural medicine to ease stress and anxiety.
And both are, by far the most common issues our generation are dealing with today.
Truth to be told, our world is very different from how it used to be. We are building a very fast-moving world, in which we are constantly bombarded by information. “Stress” and “anxiety” have been the two big words of our time, and I have found so many articles, specially on Medium, related to it. The future is not going to be any slower.
But, a good aspect of our new world is the fact that we have (finally!) started to respect and understand our mental health for what it really is: the most important part of ourselves. And masturbation can play a very important role in it.
“Masturbation releases hormones like dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin which are all called “happiness hormones” associated with stress reduction, bonding and relaxation.” — Healthline Magazine
It is simple science. Your body produces what you need, whenever you need it. All you have to do is look for it. And the next generation should know how.
#2 | It’s the most beautiful way to get to know yourself better and to feel loved.
Masturbation can open the doors of self-love, getting to know your body a little more and making the most out of your “me time”. It’s so easy these days to forget about ourselves and get lost in comparison. It takes a few seconds on your Insta feed or a few words from the wrong Tinder guy.
I feel like most of the women I’ve met, never really got to know themselves, or for what is worst, they have never given themselves a chance.
A few months ago I heard from a 50 years old woman something that made me really sad. “I’ve never really liked my body” she said.
Now, spending half of her lifetime not liking her own body sounds like a bloody awful nightmare to me.
When you masturbate, you have your chance to look at yourself and explore your body. It’s you and you alone. No social expectations of what it should or shouldn’t be. You are there, vulnerable and in control of your own pleasure. You feel beautiful, powerful and surprised.
As you touch and discover what makes you feel good, you automatically start to fall in love with yourself. You will look at your body and realise how much you two have gone through together, and the beauty hidden in those lines.
You will end up appreciating more who you are, and trust me, you will feel loved.
#3 | Masturbation opens all the doors to a better sex life.
“When we don’t know what’s there, we don’t know how to play with it thoroughly or well, and neither do our partners. And, of course, we can’t teach them if we don’t know how to do it ourselves.” — Sheri Winston, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal.
And that is the simple truth.
One of the most beneficial aspect of masturbation is sharing it with your partner. Women’s sexuality is so powerful and yet, so complex and mysterious. “Not knowing how” often leads to unpleasant sex or not getting enough of what makes you feel good.
Yes, we are complicated. But as you can’t judge a book by its cover, you can pretend to please a woman (or be pleased) simply by following the “standards” you see on movies or you might have been taught.
There are so many pages waiting to be explored. And it starts from loving yourself first. Both of you will benefit from it at the end.
I want a world where the next generation of women will feel free to communicate and to be able to guide their partners because they know what they want and how they will get it. All of it.
#4 | Knowledge is power, and the next generation will have more access to it than anybody has ever had before.
And that’s an huge progress.
My grandmother has always been ignorant about her own sexuality because of the role religion has played in her life, (specially on women’s lives, no wonder why) hiding all sort of information and picturing masturbation as a sin.
My mum has always believed that the only way for a woman to get pleased is with a partner, so thorough sex with another person, considering masturbation as immoral and wrong.
Back in the 70’s-80’s there was already a lot of information about it, but it was hard to find it.
As for us, born and raised with the boom of the internet, social media, the opportunity and freedom to travel more, to explore and experience more… we can no longer follow the old ways of looking at it.
There are no more excuses for us.
The fact that you are reading this article has already offered you the opportunity to reflect. How have you been reacting when someone ever mention it to you? How much do you know about your own sexuality? What does make you feel good? Ask yourself and find your answers.
I’m still in my mid 20s but one day I will have a daughter, and I want her to live in a world where she will be completely comfortable with her body and most of all, her sexuality.
I want to have a family who will be informed and open to discussions about it, whenever they feel like. I dream of her having conversations about self-pleasure with her dad, and siblings and friends at school. Because the confusion about this matter is still pretty much alive.
Something has to change. And it starts from you.
