Modern Updates To Classic Novels

Connor Toole
Tall Tales And Other Things
2 min readFeb 16, 2017

The books you read in high school in college written just for you.

“An Ironic Mustache Grows In Brooklyn”

A struggling content creator scrapes by while attempting to create a life for himself after moving into a rundown apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

“One Hundred Seconds Of Solitude”

A commuter deals with an escalating series of misfortunes after he is unable to access cell service while traveling between subway stations.

“The Trial”

A man is forced to navigate a convoluted bureaucracy in an attempt to cancel his HBO Now subscription before the end of the first free month.

“Moby Dick Pic”

An electronic dance DJ approaches the brink of insanity after devoting his life to capturing his “white whale” from an optimal angle under ideal lighting conditions.

“The Mason Jar”

A misanthropic public relations intern struggles to understand the appeal of drinking overpriced cocktails in novelty glasses at a rooftop bar with coworkers.

“1994”

A Buzzfeed employee slowly loses his grip on reality after being tasked to propagandize nostalgia in order to convince the general populous that the 90s were objectively the best decade.

“Thus Spoke Zarathustra”

Your Uber driver calls you to inform you they’ve arrived.

“Naked Brunch”

A brunch addict recounts a number of surreal vignettes based on actual experiences stemming from their addiction to bottomless mimosas and Bloody Marys.

“The Selfie Of Dorian Gray”

After finally managing to take a flattering picture of himself, Dorian Gray creates a Tinder account and pursues an increasingly hedonistic lifestyle while the original photo slowly ages in an encrypted folder hidden deep inside his hard drive.

“The Hops Of Wrath”

A craft beer nerd facing ever increasing adversity travels from bar to bar in Midtown Manhattan in search of a fabled West Coast-style IPA.

“Fahrenheit 392”

Named after the temperature at which marijuana begins to vaporize, this novel follows a government employee tasked with enforcing a federal ban on vaping who begins to ponders the potential downsides of such a policy.

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Connor Toole
Tall Tales And Other Things

One of the four white guys with a beard in Brooklyn writing things. Co-creator of Millennials of New York.